The Sketcher.

Lake Wakatip Mail, Issue 2279, 22 September 1899, Page 6

The Sketcher.

Tragedy at the Fair.

A Sketch of maimers and .florals*

" Fat Bess" sat majestically on a sixlegged oaken throne raised upon a dais, and contemplated her clients with an air of calm contempt. She had her arms folded. They were fearful and wonderful arms, and bare to the vaccination marks. Her shoulders also were bare, and her neck, and something besides. Her frock was short, for the convenience of her aukles, which were elephantine. " Don't none of you go for to tell me as she ain't worth a penny to see," said the man with a black eye and the pointing cane, lie bad drawn the curtain close, refreshed himself from a brown jug, coughed and gaped ere stepping on to the platform alongside the fat lady.

Fat Bess's eyes had momentarily brightened at the sight of him. They followed his movements with the jug. and stayed on him until he took up the cane. Their expression reminded me strangely of the lion's face in the menagerie next door, so to speak, when the tamer appeared in the crowd, and cracked his whip as a preliminary to his performance. The lion's eyes said as plain as could be : " What nonsense this make-believe is ! As if I couldn't chew up that fellow quite easily, if only I cared to. But if 1 did, should 1 get my lunch of horseflesh 'by-aud-by V Ergo " " Ladies an' gents," continued the showman, " Miss Bess 'ere mayn't be a Daniel Lambert at seven 'tuidred an' thirty-nine pounds, but there's p'ints in which she excels that most immortal of stout prodigies. One of 'er p'ints is 'er amazing agility, in spite of the blessings of extraor'nary flesh Providence has blessed 'er with. But that's neither 'ere nor there." The speaker bent towards the brown jug. Afterwards he wiped his face, which was red from heat (it was June) and exertion. Fat Mess's left eye, the nearer to him of the two, glanced at him from between its cumbrous lids. She seemed as impassive as the lion next door, while its characteristics were being described merely, without illustrative accompaniment. The spectators made remarks, and giggled. "Do 'old your noise, now," a lean woman in a high bonnet is heard to say to an exhilarated man. evidently her husband. " I wants to swop. I tells yer." the latter rejoins. " You did ought to be ashamed," exclaims the lean woman. Her bonnet trembles with emotion.

"Go mi. gaffer, get it over." urges an imiilatient sightseer, with a frown at flie showman. The latter resents the interference, but proceeds. " Miss Bess, ladies an' gents, weighs three 'undred an' fifty pounds, an' she's as good as she is beautiful an'——"

"Fat." interpolate several voices. "Thank you, I'm sure," says the showman with a mock bow. "This 'ere weather as we're having, it's good to 'ave one's words took out of one's own mouth. But, as I was saying, you'll not see her ekal for youth an' size in one. She was born, was Miss Bess, in a colliery town, and was hearty from a very little girl. Now she's twenty, she weighs three 'undred an' fifty cheese pounds, an' 's still grovvin'. Ladies an' gents, look at her : look at 'er neck, where the fat lies in rings ; look at her lovely shoulders, them shapely ankles, an' the sweet disposition in 'er face. An" look at 'er arms. Look at them folded arms, I say !" "Is she all that sweet-tempered, mister ?" inquires a voice. Fat Bess's eyes roam bee-like from face to face until they alight on the inquirer. There they tarry while the showman answers :

" Ladies an' gents, Fin 'er husband. an' did ought to know. Why, it's a well-known thing," he exclaims with sudden fervour. " the more fat, the more good nature. There wasn't a more civilspoken, gentle person living than the great Mr. Bright, of Maldon. whose weskit eould button round seven or'nary individuals like you an' me, an' died at forty-four stone. I say the same of Miss Bess, an' challenge any man to the contrary."

The momentary dissension among the crowd is due to a quarrel hot ween the lean, high-bonneted lady and her spouse, who seizes the showman's remarks for a text on which to disparage his wife. It is suggested that they be chucked out. But no one acts on the suggestion. Miss Bess extends five dimpled lingers (with sad finger nails) before her large red lips and yawns. The crowd stretch forward to see if her teeth are proportioned to her hotly. The showman recurs to the brown jug. then again takes up his cane i which he had set by when drinking), and. touching Miss Bess's tender flesh with its extremity, he repeats : " Look at 'er arms !" Some one asks if Fat Bess mayn't be made to stand up.

"That." replies the showman with a gallant leer towards his wife, "is a matter for the lady 'erself to settle. She ain't to be druv' like a 'orse."

A pause, during which expectation stands on tiptoe. But if expectation tints exercises itself. Fat Bess does nor. Site becomes preternaturally rigid, in Pact, and gazes at nothing in particular. For a twenty year-old she displays amazing phlegm. "There you are, ladies an' gents." says tin* coachman, as if lie had triumphed somewhere. " You can't allers coax even a cooing dove. And now. friends, that's all. Them as likes can kiss Mis< Bess's hand on their way niil : I lie left im. The right's mine."

I proarious laughter aekiiowledgeM ihis witty sally. " And look at her arms, just once more !" clamours Hie fool of a showman. " Thev'ro miracles o' beamy."

l-'nr Hie first lime (lining the showMiss Mess blushed, and .vol again her ox-like eyes turned towards her litisbaud. I'm the blush lied under the volley of salutes to which she was sulijecieil. A beetroot patch of colour look iis place briefly, and disappeared also. "Trry up an' 101 l your friends about Vr." crie.s the showman.

'flic crowd do so. it is to be hoped

I am flic last to leave. Ktv gelling beyond Hie curtain, however. 1 hear a sudden liimiill behind. Ii is [.'tit Bess. She has lel'i her throne and assaulted the showman. Her language is not in keeping with her age ami sex. Nor us her conduct. Willi ouo blow she has felled her beer-sodden lord and master to the ground.

"That'll teach you." she says in a deep basts voice.

An hour later the showman i< still to be seen ptlflillg Miss Koss and hei' at iributes under the canvas picture ~f her : and a crowd of fresh ..pen in..uihed listeners are drinking in his words. He lias i wo black eyes now instead of but 0n... " Tall Mall Uazeite."