RUGBY FOOTBALL

King Country Chronicle, Volume XXVI, Issue 3400, 30 July 1932, Page 5

RUGBY FOOTBALL

NO REPLACEMENTS: A BALLAD. (By Sinbad, in the Christchurch Star.) It was half-past five in the crowded bar, and a footballer sad was there. He was black and blue from bis hat to his shoe, and he’d lost some locks of hair. You could still decry, in his ear and his eye, the marks of a gory fray, And he sadly sang’, as he drank his pint, this doleful little lay: “Oh, I am the half and threequarters bold, the five-eighths and fullback too, The hookers, the lock and the breakaways, all packed into the one you view. I’m all that is left of a brave fifteen, line umpires and referee; To knocks of the field they have all had to yield—there’s nobody left but me. Full fifteen strong we began the match, and an excellent team we had, A rattling pack, and our young halfback was a promising sort of lad. The way our backs threw the ball about filled the grandstand folk with glee, Till our first five-eighth stopped a hefty boot, and they gave the job to me. My usual place is at breakaway, but I think that I held my own, Till our fullback, too, had to leave the field with a broken collarbone. The halfback was off with a fractured leg, and our skipper, looking blue, Said to me, ‘We must shuffle the backs a bit—you’ll have to play halfback too.’ Then he retired with an ankle sprained, while trying to take a pot, And as he had already combined two jobs, I had to take the lot. Our centre bold was the next knocked cold —concussion that stretched him flat; And our other backs being ordered off, I was then left on my pat. _ Our forwards still had been carryingon, as all good forwards do, But a broken rib and a gammy knee reduced their ranks by two. At four o’clock there was only one to hold the fort with me; Then he got his, for by some mistake he woodened the referee. Now both line umpires long ere this had quailed at the gory sight, And the whistle-holder’s downfall now impelled them to take flight. Alone I held the field against opponents fifteen strong, And that is why, as I drain my glass, I sing this doleful song:— Oh, I am the fullback and breakaway, the centre and the wing, The five-eiffhths line and the hookers fine, the locks and everything; The Zambucks and the scoreboard men, timekeepers and referee, So tell James Baxter, ere I die, there’s nobody left but me.”