NOTES BY THE WAY

King Country Chronicle, Volume XXVI, Issue 3439, 5 March 1932, Page 5

NOTES BY THE WAY

(By "Rambler." A country paper tersely announces that "A man was granted a divorce in Auckland recently because his wife took a cat to bed."' Men often do the same thing, but don't always get a divorce. Why is it that we hear of so many "schoolboy howlers"? From my experience the girls have their share. Here's one—a short essay on ducks i "The duck is a low, heavy-set bird, composed mostly of meat and feathers. He is a mighty poor singer, having a hoarse voice, caused by getting so many frogs in his throat. He likes t*e water, and carries a toy balloon in his stomach to keep from sinking. The duck has only two legs and they are set so far back on his running gears by nature that they come pretty near missing the body. Some ducks, when they get big, have curls on their tails and are called drakes. Drakes don't have to set or hatch, but just loaf, go swimming and eat. If I was to be a duck —l'd rather be a drake."

It is announced that the Waikato Winter Show is to be officially opened by a Robot, a mechanical man which walks and talks. - Here is a chance for party politicians to save themselves a lot of wearisome labour by using a Robot.

In Spain the new Republican Government has introduced a Bill providing for the dissolving of marriages by mutual consent. In this country the marriage pact is usually broken by mutual disagreement.

A scientist states that men's muscles and brains, contain 70 per cent, of water. There must be times, however, w,hen the liquid content varies. A man's brain becomes larger, in his own estimation, when he consumes a certain quantity of liquor. , .

It is reported that there is a wave of optimism in London. Let's hope it is a permanent wave.

The first session of the twentyfourth Parliament has opened under most dismal conditions, and before it closes—when no man can tell — everyone is going to swallow some bitter pills. We've got the first in the Public Works policy, and already the Labour Party is talking strikes, but methinks the Government has the whip hand, and will do all the striking. To-day we are passing between heaven and earth. We can't go up, and don't know when to drop. These are sorry times, my comrades, but Winston Churchill says, "This is not the sunset of the British Empire. It is the dawn." Let us hope that the versatile Winston is right. < He is rather a cynic than an optimist, and not given to rhapsodising on sunsets or dawns, or anything else.

A coterie of ministers, backed up by a lady with high ideals on the futility of war, has suggested the formation of a "Peace Army" which would be composed of volunteers who would place themselves between the combatants. Of course in all well organised scraps the opposing armies would carry on hostilities by a battery barrage over the "heads of the peace advocates, who* would have a very unpleasant experience. I'm afraid, however, that there won't be many volunteers for the Peace Army to place themselves between the Japanese and Chinese forces. Anyhow, the League of Nations is not showing any great enthusiasm over the scheme.

The Prime Minister is responsible for the statement that "Interest must come down." This emergency session promises to be one of the most interesting in the history of the country. There's no intention of a pun.

I think it costs about £BO an hour to run our Parliament, and on this basis it cost the country about £4O for members in the House to decide whether the word "humbug" was unparliamentary. The Speaker said he had looked up the dictionary, and "humbug" had a wide range of definitions. Whilst it meant some dreadful things, it could also be used as a term of affection. Anyhow, the country is wiser on the point, even though it cost £4O.

Mr. M. Murphy, a well-known Sydney sculler, had an exciting experience with a shark one night recently off Taronga Point. He was sculling home, when an enormous shark pursued the skiff and was very soon swimming alongside of it. Murphy was afraid that the monster might brush against the skiff and overturn it, so he clapped on speed and rowed for his life. The shark kept close to the skiff for some distance, but it suddenly turned and disappeared, states a report. There are also about a million and a half people having a similar experience in New Zealand to-day, only this time it is the ship of, State and the shark of depression. We seem, according to the Public Works Statement and the expectation of more economies to follow, to be putting on but we had better pull together or we might upset the ship.

John Bull is winning out, and the other nations that have been doing their best to crush her are more than surprised—they're and asking themselves how he did it. The answer is easy, because he has not lost that respect for a square deal which has been characteristic of him for the last century. Of course, at the same time. John knows a little more about finance than his cousin, Uncle Sam, and his neighbour across the Channel. Old England is out of the pawn shop, and. is again going to lead the world. It will be noted that peace between Japan and China was fixed up on a British warship.