NOTES BY THE WAY.

King Country Chronicle, Volume XXII, Issue 2670, 22 December 1928, Page 5

NOTES BY THE WAY.

, (By Rambler.) " ' A writer says-that since prohibition, a new spirit has come over America. We understand, however, that for the more expensive 'brands the same old labels aro used. D——d extraordinary," said the mechanic, with a Scotch accent, as he applied a sledge hammer to a red-hot dumb iron in a local garage one day this week' to a Chronicle reporter, in reply to an observation that despite the number of damaged cars at present in the town's .garages, that there had been no human casualties. There has already been a number of seasonable motor smashes within the borders of the King Country (so far, mirabile dictu, not attended by human injury) and it looks as though the season is starting early. "It's.an ill wind——" however, for garages are getting busy, and if the holiday accident season continues as it has started, it will be a profitable one ior those who are engaged in the profession of tending injured motor cars.

Bolivia and Paraguay did not participate in the Great War, so they have decided to stage then- own little "war to end wars." Some there were who said he was too od for the job, a physical wreck, and so on, but he gets up at 2.30 a.m. and makes a humdinger of a" speech in tho House notwithstanding. Some names are appropriate. StaffCaptain Dry is in the Salvation Army and Mr Blow is New Zealand's publicity agent in Sydney. \ I see Bill's habeas corpus came off. Perhaps the easiest way to keep in touch with all of your relatives is to own a cottage at a summer resort. A writer says that some dentists are real humorists. Yet few people ap>preciate their gags. Presence of Mind: Thinking of gifts. The part of a motor that causes more accidents than any other is the "nut" that holds the steering wheel. These Russian newspaper reporters do get things mixed up. Already they've had Trotsky exiled three more times than he has died. HOLIDAY MEMORIES. Closing the office- desk. The pretty girl on the train. The girl in the red bathing suit. The girl who wanted to learn tennis. The girl who wanted to learn golf. The girl in the red bathing suit. Fresh fish. ■. A moon and the girl in the red bathing suit. The old woman who would talk. The sunburn. The sand flies. The twisted ankle. The lost watch. : The girl in the red bathing suit. The fellow she preferred. __ The joy at being home again. The bills.

A seasonable advertisement reads "Give De Reske this Christmas." My advice this Christmas is that if (you are driving a car, don't take de risk.

The Kaiser's sister, who married the Russian policeman Zoubkoff, has been offered £50,000 for a lecture tour of Europe and the United- States. . If she accepts she will cause the exiled ex-Kaiser a lot of anxiety regarding family secrets.

An amusing story against himself was told by Sir Watson Cheyne, the eminent London surgeon who was the guest of honour at a gathering in Wellington on Saturday night (says the Post). On one occasion he was about to operate on a child at a London hospital, when he received a call to a case in the country. The operation being but a slight one, he finished it before leaving, but as he was about to depart he was stopped by the father of the. child, who was anxious to know how the patient was faring. Sir Watson was pleased to be able to say that the child had every prospect of recovery, but the parent was still unsatisfied, and had much to ask regarding the details of the operation. Noticing at length that Sir Watson was becoming impatient, the other explained the reason of his interrogation. "I hope you don't mind my asking so many questions," he said, "but, you see, I'm a butcher myself." \