COURTESY IN MANNERS

Hawera & Normanby Star, Volume LXVIII, Issue LXVIII, 13 July 1912, Page 10

COURTESY IN MANNERS

In the rush of present-day existence, people may lose the fine courtesy in manners which, from time immemorial has marked good breeding and refinement. They seem to imagine that it is a credit to them to appear terribly busy, and that it is out-of-date to be leisurely, either in private or in public They hurry in-talking, walking, writing, eating—m fact, in all the affairs of every day. All .this is an affectation, but above all it shows a neglect of the high principles of life, that unselfishness, kindness and consideration for others which are at the root of good manners. The careless person becomes selfish and soon lapses into absolute rudeness, offends others and becomes unpopular. For, with all the haste that most people affect, there is in them a quick criticism of other offenders.

Small, but important, courtesies are to bow pleasantly, to greet acquaintances cordially, to give a friendly clasp of the hand, to cultivate a memory for faces and names, in order to be able to recall where one has met people, and to say something to show interest in the affairs of others. A point is to put others at ease. If one thinks that an acquaintance may be puzzled as to one's identity it is courteous to say, in greeting, "I hope you remember me; I am Mrs B—"

A prompt reply to notes of invitation is an important point. It is an obligation to answer an invitation to a luncheon, dinner, tea party, or theatre party within twenty-four hours, because a hostess wishes to know on whom she may depend, or whether it will be necessary to fill a vacancy. An invitation to a home wedding or wedding breakfast should be answered promptly. In writing a reply, regard must be paid to neat, legible' handwriting. A careless scrawl is unpardonable. The repetition of the date and hour mentioned in an invitation is essential when replying, so that a hostess may be assured that there will be no misunderstanding.

Many little courtesies are to be observed in conversation. Among these are to look people in the face when talkine or listening, not to let the attention or mind wander, not to show impatience in listening, but to try to be interested in what others are saying. There is an art in being a good listener. It is not courteous to interrupt or to monooolise the conversation or to talk of "one's self.

In the street there are many small courtesies observed strictly by well-bred people. A well-bred person never brushes past anyone. If the contact is unavoidable in a crowd, one would say, "Pardon me," and a man would raise his hat while asking pardon. Well-bred persons do not push, do not seek advantage to the discomfort or inconvenience of others, never walk three or four abreast, so that others cannot pass; never stand in entrances of shops or other public places, blocking the way. Manners in public are among the very sure indications of refinement or the lack of it.

Good manners are the outward sign of inward graces of heart and mind. They sweeten social intercourse and contribute to happiness beyond proportion to the effort of thoughtfulness and selfdiscipline which they cost.