JUBILEE JOKES.

Hawke's Bay Herald, Volume XXXII, Issue 10626, 3 June 1897, Page 4

JUBILEE JOKES.

(By H. h. Murdoch,)

The late John Leeoh In one of his carloatures makes a little snob observe to a Master ot Honnd«, " What I like about 'untln 1 , my lord, Is that It improves the breed of 'bases, and brings folks together fib wonldn'b otherwise meet." This beautiful sentiment might be applied to the visit (at taxpayers' expense) of some of the colonial Premiers to the Jubilee oelebratlon. Let us hope that "it will improve the breed" of colonial Premiers. It will certainly bring some of them into aooiety to which they would never have gained access in their private capacity. Tbo record of their progieoa reeds like a soricß of practical pices, the Cambridge University having beaten the record la Its deoklon to " cODier the honorary title of Doctor of Laws npon the Colonial Pre mlers." Fancy Mr Seddon, whose knowledge* of law is about on a par with his knowledge of English grammar, n " D.C L. " 1 Very " honorary," Indeed ! Surely the force of satire can no further go. If the Cambridge University goeß on in the downward path npon whioh it hai entered, Its "honors" v. ill become about as valuable as the diplomas granted (" for a consideration ") by certain Amerloan college* to quack dootore. Doubtless Mr Seddon'i obtußenesß to satire will prevent his serenity from being disturbed by the pracHoal jokes aforesaid. He willdoubtless take all the honors and attentions " au grand mitux " an due to the transcendent merits whioh he is best able to realise. There seema to me to be only one difficulty abead of our pachydermatous Premier, and this I bnoten to remove. It may happen that the Queen or the Prince of Wales, haviog heard of his powers as a vocalist, may ask him for a song after dinner, in whioh oaee even he, tripleoaßed In brass, may be taken at a diaad* vantage. He may feel that for a " gentleman " sent over to represent the "loyalty" of a colony "The Wearing of the Greco,'- although a very nice song to catch the Fenian vote, is not exactly the Bong to sing before Royalty. I have, therefore, for his benefit, oomposed a sweet little lyrlo, which may be supposed to represent the feelings of a Demooratle Premier unexpectedly placed in circumstances in whioh he has "to behave pretty." It is nnfortunately late for the Bngllßh mall, bub I believe that Mr Seddon has no obj action to (public) expense when matters of nrgent colonial importance (like this) have to be telegraphed. I therefore trust that his col* leagues in Wellington will forthwith cable Home the following :—

SONS FOR SSDDON. I. Ob, it's grand to bo a Premier A doln' tbo itnmenso. And set up (or a gentleman At othor folk's expense' It's something like progression For Minsla. gal. and mo. To rtdo In the prncoaston Ab tho Royal Jabilco. cnonus Then never mind your Ha, And lot tbe Rrammar rip, Wo'll mako the money fly my boya, Upon our loyal U'lp. IT. When I waa in New Zealand \ democrat bo keen, My sonK la th<t bright, free-land Wan " The Wowing or the Sreon" j But with knighthood before us That fonor won't do I wfion ; So pale lot's join in chonia Andßing 'God Save the Queou." cnoiius, Thon never mind ynur H's. ArA lot tho grammar rip, We'll mnko tho monoy lly my boys. Upon our loyal trip. TIT, I'll shika 'nnds with roal ladloßi I'll lllrb with lovely girlß, And nilx upon equality, With Lords, and Duireß, and Earls. At ball and garden party, And banquet grand of rftato, 111 mcoti a weloomo 'o*rty, And cheers when I orato. CHORUS. Thon nevor mind yonr Il'ii And let tho grammar rip, Wo'll mako tho money fly my boyu Upon our loyal trip, IV, To oi'ftok up " Fodoration," Of oourao I phall f<iel bound, Itien't ovory day my boya A jubileo onmo 3 round. And 'praps whoa 1 como 'omo sgaiu, i\oroß3 tho roarlDg Bi<a, iDutoad of Mißtor -oddon plain, "Blrßlohard" I shall bo. CHORUS. Then never mind yonr H's And let the grammar rip. Well make the money fly mjr boys Upon our loyal trip. If * copy n< this none shonld teach tbe Cambridge Dons, and they abohld, on tbe strength of it, want to make me a "DC L,," I thank them In advance for their kind intention, bnt decline the honor. It Is becoming too common.