AN OBNOXIOUS J.P.

Hawke's Bay Herald, Volume XXII, Issue 8148, 28 April 1885, Page 4

AN OBNOXIOUS J.P.

A Northern contemporary tells the following anecdote, which we have no doubt will be keenly relished by Scotchmen : — In a certain rural township a particularly captious old Caledonian made a point of, as often as possible, taking his seat on the Bench at the local Police Court. His colleagues' in the commission of tho peace found him so obstinate and hot tempered that they shirked duty whenever they found him there as he had become a nuisance. Being the sole ocoupant of the Bench one day, and the business of the Court being delayed through lack of a second magistrate, a facetious attorney, who was engaged in a case, and being aware of the hopelessness of getting a second magistrate, undertook to find one, saying that there ■was « a stranger in the town, who was in the commission of the peace." Our old friend undertook to keep his seat until a colleague was found. The attorney departed on his mission, and a few minutes aiterwards a small parcel was brought into Court addressed to the presiding magistrate. The old gentleman turned t over, andjaiaking sure of the accuracy

of the address, he opened ; t in the presence of the Court. It contained a red herring ! Those who know that the term "Glasgow Magistrate " is a nickname for those dried fish will not only see the joke, but judge its effect on the choleric recipient.

A Fact Worth Knowing.— Are you suffering with consumption, coughs, severe colds settled on the breast, pneumonia, or any disease of the throat and lungs ? If so, go to your Druggist and get a bottle of Boschee s Q-erman Syrup. The people are going wild over its success, and Druggists all over our country are writing us of its wonderful cureß among their customers. It has by far the largest sale of any remedy, simply because it is of so much value in all affections of thitf kind. Chronic cases quickly yield to it. Druggists recommend it and physicians prescribe it. If you wish to try its supcrioi virtue, get a Sample Bottle for 6d. Large size bottle, 3s fid. Throe doses will relieve any cose. Try it. ' 215 A Wise Deacon.—" Deacon Wilder, I want you to tell me how you kept yourself and family so well the past season, when all the rest of us have been sick so much, and have have had the cloctora running to us so often." " Brother Taylor, the answer is very easy. I üßed Hop Bitters in time, and kept my family well, and saved large doctor's bill*. Four shillings' worth of it kept us all well and able to work all the time, and I will warrant it has cost you and mo9t of the neighboro £10 to £100 apiece to l -°?r> sick the same time. I fancy you'll take my I medicine hereafter." See. 9-t

Wo believe that if everyone would use American Co.'s Hop Bitters freely thore ■would be much less Bickness and misery in tbe vorld, and people are fnsfc finding thw out, whole families keeping well at a trifling cost by its uso. We alvise all to try it. Read. $»

"Rough on Eats."— Clear out rat?_, mice, roaches, Hies, ants, bed-bugs, beetle?, insects, skunks, jack-rabbits, gophers. Druggists, Felton, Grioiwade & Co., Agents, Wellington. 9 6

American Co.'s Hop Bitters are the Purest and Best Bitters Ever Made.— They are compounded from Hops, Malt, Buchn, Mandrake, and Dandolion, — the oldest, best, and most valuable medicines in the world, and contain all the best and most curative properties of all other remedies, being the greatest Blood Purifier, Liver Regulator, and Life and Health Restoring Agent on earth. No disease or ill-health can possibly long exist where they are used, so varied end perfect are their operations. They give new life and vigor to the aged and infirm. To all whose employments cause irregularity of tho bowels or urinary organs, or who require an Appetizer, Tonic and mild Stimulant, American Co.'s Hop Bitters are invaluable, being highly curative, tonic and stimulating, without intoxicating. No matter what your feelings or symptoms are, what the disease or ailment is, uso Hop Bitters. Don't wait until you are sick, biit if you only feel bad or miserable, nee Hop Bitters at once. It may save jour life. Hundreds have been saved by au doing. £500 will be paid for a case they Trtill not cure or help. Do not suffer or let, your friends suffer, but use and urge them to uso American . Hop Bitters. Remember, American Hop Bitters is no vile, drugged, drunken nostrum, but the Purest and Best Medicine ever made. Try the Bitters today. Get at Chemists or Druggists. Beware of imitations. Genuine has Dr Soule's name blown in bottle, 97