Untitled

Hawke's Bay Herald, Volume 13, Issue 1107, 7 December 1869, Page 3

j. An Irish paper says, "Dr, Hayes wishes to go North again. No Arctic explorer is really happy until he has failed to come t back." i A maiden lady, alluding to her youtlib ful accomplishments, said that at six . months of age she went alone. A malil cious individual present remarked, — " Yes, s and you have been going alone ever since." A Lesson in Aeithmetic. — Teacher : \ John, suppose I were to shoot at a tree ' with five birds on it and kill three, how * many would be left ? John : Three, sir. Teacher ': No, two would be left, you, ignof ramus. John: No, there wouldn't though. . The three shot would be left, and the ; other two would be flied away. 3 Preparing foe a Flogging.-t-A youngster, who had been detected by his father [ in the act of stealing some fruit stored for J winter consumption, was angrily bidden to " go into the next room, and prepare I himself for a severe flogging." Having finished the work which ho had in hand, r the inexorable parent armed himself with a stout horsewhip, and went in quest of the culprit, whom he found ornamented with a hump at which Quasimodo himself would have shuddered. " What on earth ' have you got on your back P" asked the wondering sire. " A leather apron," re,- --\ plied John, •' three double., ; You told me : to prepare myself for ia severe flogging, and Ive done the best I could." The k father's gravity was not proof against this ' unexpected translation of his words ; the 1 muscles of his face, and hand relaxed • simultaneously, the 'whip was Jet fall, and I John escaped for thajb'tinie '.'j^fcli apj''" ad* r flioij)tion.' ' ]j;xpxu*t. [r'"\..;\'<.v.