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Hawera Star, Volume LIV, 24 August 1935, Page 7

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By “The Archer”

Mr Coates showed at Wellington that he has not lost his old flair for handling election crowds. The first ten jeers are the worst. * * * * *

Prince Louis, of Monaco, has discharged his entire army of 76 officers and men because of a drop in the casino takings. And they say that none of the Powers are making a contribution to world peace. * * * * * Residents in the main are dissatisfied with the Hawera water supply. “Archer” saw one of them curl up with disgust in the glass of water he was drinking last nighf. £ * * f $ Talking about the water supply, the Ilawera Borough Council can have the existing main reconditioned for £15,000 to equal the capacity of a new 10-inch pipe. What a bore! * * * * * “Mr Forbes back.” These missed apostrophes. And while it was turned didn’t the mice have a great time. * * * * * George Harrison has been described by one of the managers of the Maori team as a great general. He was certainljr a general nuisance to the New South Wales inside backs. ***** “Bone manure for your garden this summer,” says an advertisement. “Archer” did all last year until his neighbour put a lock on the tool shed door. # sj: $: sfc The New Zealand Broadcasting Board reserves the right to censor transmissions because of the danger of “unrehearsed incidents.” Which disposes of the vexed problem of whygolf tournaments are seldom broadcast. ***** “Where would New Zealand stand in the event of a war?” asks a icorrespondent. Some say its head, some, say its heels. , ***** iMr William Goodfellow says he is not a millionaire, nor has lie any intention of being one. That’s funny, neither has “Archer.” *** . * *

Head-line: “Money in Bridge.” Well, we all know there are a few cool thousands in a certain structure on the other side of the Tasman. ***** “What would my holidays be if I stopped home,” demands' a writer. Judged on last year’s standard, a saving of about £2O. ***** Clothes are to be worn just a little shorter than at present. “Archer” will not depart from his usual procedure of wearing his just a little longer. ***** Given the choice of a poison cup or hanging, an Esfhonian gulped a dose of poison and died. He apparently put his hope in the old saying, “There’s many a slip ’twixt the cup and .the lip.’’’ ***** “The modem schoolboy will not be soft-soaped,” says a writer. And be won’t let his nurse sponge on him either. H! *

“Archer” has just heard about a musician who was so temperamental that she simply had to buy an overstrung piano. *****

“England’s stand.” Contrary to expectations, this does not refer to the Abyssinian situation, but to Hammond and Leyland, ,who delighted 30,000 spectators by creating a new fourth wicket partnership record in .the fifth cricket test. *****

Erectors will be required to do some hard thinking for themselves during the next three months or so, says the Hon. A. D. McLeod. Electors have certainly had a wonderful opportunity to put their thinking-pieces into good running, order during the past three years or so. jjj 3fc &

The world’s most consistent man is the boxer who -counts ten every time he knocks out his pipe.

Draw-string necks will he a feature of full-sleeved day frocks. What a temptation to anyone with homicidal tendencies. * * * * *

“TeiT shillings will cover the cost of next’s year’s bathing suit,” says a fashion writer, and probably the suit as well. *****

A London dentist on Thursday swam the channel. “Archer” always thought dentists were men of nerves. *****

“ Fly fishing should be very popular this summer,” says a -writer. And so much more humane than the old fashioned sticky papers, says dear old Aunt Maud. *****

You can’t carve out a great career by merely getting your knife into other people. *****

“Some dogs,” says an article, “can give an answer to any question put. to them.” And some just give biting retorts!