INTER ALIA

Hawera Star, Volume XLV, 9 May 1925, Page 16

INTER ALIA

(By “Ixion”)

What is one man's yield is another man’s ratio.

Where would the New Plymouth wfitersider he if it were noi ior trade unionism? Working, promt lily.

An extinct ,10m the local school committee’s report runs, "We think tiie time has arrived when the public of flawera should watte i*p to tne necessity of seriously considering the advisability of agitating, for the establishment of . . . ” A his sort, of thing is more likely to send the public to sleep.

“Allow three sets of brains to two people/’ says a recipe in the Star. To engble them to understand dairying statistics, no doubt.

A warning to motorists on the Alain South Road reads :

Sharp Turn All night service at Garage. Should one miss the turn, of course, the latter information will be useful.

It is said that t7Te Commissioner of Taxes, who retired recently, really understands income tax.

Good motorists are said to make good aviators. But the absence of pedestrians makes aeroplanuig rather uninteresting for them.

Customs officers in New York seized 16 bottles of liquor in Pola Negri’s luggage and cracked them over the ship’s side. Fish ifl the harbour were subsequently “canned.”

The water supply has been a much discussed question amongst householders, and some members of. the new council have.gone so far as to suggest the necessity for the duplication of the water main. The faithful little main, which has served us all so long, its jealousy aroused by this base proposal, made a supreme effort to remte tue calumnies of its critics, and burst in the attempt. Consequently for almost a day Hawera was without water, to the discomfiture of morning shower addicts and to the unconcealed, joy 01 small boys, who were furnished: with a sufficient excuse for the 11011-perform-ance of their morning ablutions. The two small boys who appeared at school with c-loan faces, it subsequently transpired, had been eating watermelons,

The return of the gold standard in Britain may quite feasibly bring abom an early reversal to more equitable exchange conditions as far as New Zealand is concerned. This possibility- will be greatly welcomed by the primary producer.* At the present time the farmer takes his £IOO draft on London to the bank and receives therefor £97 ss. The difference of £2 los is exchange, and fair exchange is no robbery. But the farmer does not take this view of the transaction. AVith childlike simplicity of faith, born of long and tender nursing, he turns to the Government. Governments, though they can provicje decreases in railway, freights and dairy laboratories on demand, find economic laws immutable and the exchange problem a little beyond them. The farmer., getting no satisfaction, turns away and threatens to form a Farmers’ Party.

England has her Tower of London, France her Eiffel tower, and Italy the leaning tower of Pisa, but Hawera has her water-tower. What is it that gives the water-tower a distinct individuality, places it in a category apart? It is* because from it one may view Hawera. From the encircling balcony 100 feet up. the tourist may look down upon the Post Office, the new Bank of New Zealand, and the old Railway Station. In the distance he may see Alt. Egmont, if lie is lucky. If not, he can always see the mass of clouds where the Mountain is. And he can go back and tell his friends, who have never had the good fortune to visit Taranaki, that he has seen the most symmetrical'’ mountain in the world — well not quite seen it perhaps, owing to a cloud or two hiding its summit, but seen exactly where is was, anyway.

The visitor naturally wishes to take away with him something which will remind him of Hawera. Realising that there is nothing preferable to good photographic views, the Rural Beenes Co., has, 'gone to great pains and expense 1 to secure the following comprehensive series 1. View of Hawera from the watertowey, showing in the distance Mt. Egmont (with or without clouds). 2. View of -the water-tower from which the above photograph was taken. 3. View of the photographer who took the above photographs. To every purchaser of half-a-dozen each of Nos. 1 and 2 will he given free one especially enlarged and mounted copy of N 0.3. Obtainable at all chemists and stores. THE BUNKUMVILLE ELECTIONS. Reports of the Bunkumville municipal elections have just come to hand, and indicate that, ,ln the mayoral contest, the result of the German Presidential election had an important influence on the voting, and was a considerable factor in securing the return of Major Lucky, always a keen enthusiast in the’ local Boy Scout movenjent. Candidates’ speeches (neessarily abbreviated), delivered after the results were announced, are given lielow. Major Lucky wished to thank all the electors, hut most especially those who had voted for him. He considered that greatness had been thrust upon him, because in his own mind he had felt all along that his opponent, Mr Stiff, was the better man. He might allude to his opponent’s misfortune as Stiff’s “stiffness.” (Loud cheers.) He thought that Mr Stiff had put up a great fight, and no one was more sorry than, he to see him lose. Mi 1 Stiff said he had been beaten. His policy differed considerably from that of Major Lucky, who was in favour of progress with economy, while he had always stood for economy with progress. But in spite of this divergence of views the contest had been fought in the friendliest spirit, and only on one occasion had he gone so far as to punch the Major on the nose. He congratulated the ' electors on choosing the better man so unerringly. Cr Diehard, said he had served on the Bunkumville Council for 36 years. ’Throughout the whole of this time he had stood firm for economy and progress. Why the electors kept on returning yhim he didn’t know. The thing was becoming boring. He had supported many reforms in the interests of ratepayers, perhaps the most important being the' increase in rates from twopence to two shillings *in the £. Cr Shakemup said he was in favour of a new library with some hooks in it. uniforms for the band and high tests for dairy farmers. All these should he obtained without adding to the rates. Cr Doordie said that Cr Shakemup had made several statements, and

those statements were sound. He had frequently said the same things himself. He was out for progress. Cr Tingaling said he did not propose to say anything about civic matters, as he’ would have plenty of opportunity for that later. He’was a strong believer in progress. Just why he didn’t quite know., hut it seemed'to be the correct thing. Cr Blqwhard, in a breezy speech, mainfkined that the town 'must progress. He was not talking “bunk” when he said that at the nresent time Bimkumville was literally in a bunker. (Riotous applause.) But the newlyl elected clique would get it out and put the finance in a fair way. (Renewed acclamation.) Mr Glumly, a defeated candidate, had never expected to be returned. At the moment he couldn’t iust recollect why he had stood at all. He went on to say .... (Not this week.—Ed.)