MRS BROWN’S LETTERS HOME.

Gisborne Standard and Cook County Gazette, Volume I, Issue 24, 6 August 1887, Page 3

MRS BROWN’S LETTERS HOME.

No. I. ’Non bx thx Sortos/ Whilst endeavouring to knock out a leader from our wearied brain yesterday alternoon we were startled by a knock at the door of our sanctum, and to our Wonder and bewilderment saw an elderly female enter to whom the description of “ fair tat and forty-five ’’ would have well anplied. u Madame prafr ba seated ”, said we, offering a three-legged chair with the seat stuffed with exchanges. " Young man, said she “do you knew who I ham,” said she. >■ We have not the nleasure of your acquaintance,” said we. “Notknow Mrs Brown, of Igh Olborn, what <aw been nut in books by an owdacious willing' Of the name of Harther Bketchley ; lawks a mussy where 'avs you been brought tab.” We repressed ear regret, and immediately recognised the celebrated lady, She wort a blue dress, a gigantic crinoline, a projecting about three feet from her te-abta* and trimmed with red and blue ribboas,her note *as red, knd she carried a small reticule basket and an umbrella which Noah might have used when he entered the Ark. T’was indeed she, and we apologised humbly. We had a long interview with Mrs Brown, who is making a short stay in Gisborne. and have obtained from her at a vast expense permission to copy a letter descriptiveof Gisborne, which she is sending Home by the Fiiaco mail. Here it is Masonick 'Otel, .Gisborne, Noo Zealand.

My dear Missis Padwick,— -, I takes up my pen to write you a lew hues, though not well" at present, as am that bad tomroomattica as can ‘ardly get hout and about, as the saym is, though alius carries a diop of pail brandy in my redtkule, which is comfortin' to the Btummick and keeps off spauims, as I was alius subject to, trer since my Halbert was born, and Brown aoomtag'ome late from the Prooshun Blue ♦hat night and never hexpecting it, leastway s hot ata staddißO, and Went acusldn’ round and me that bad M poor Missis Bonwell as was fptehed in a 'urry called him a cruel wilhn tho he bein' iJdrink and ‘avin’ left his pipe and art and art, wm honiy iri a bti of a uff, as the saying is. Well and ‘ow are yer, dear Missis Padwick in your -appy ‘ome and me “far away on the biller ”as the saym is, as would never ’eve come to Noo Zealing but Brown, 'im never gettin’ no workthough a fus. rate carpenter, though he did take his like a man, which as you knows is old beer and creem of the walley mixed and of a winter’s morning, ain t Bethink no better to keep away spazzims. Hout we comes by the Bimmuntucker .Kimutaka?—Bn.', as is a lovely steamer, tho’ I did think of the many a time you and hi as been to Grinwidge in a thruppenny boat, as is a fine place with its 'ill and its orspital though not to be compared to Noo Zea>ang, which is all over 'ills. Eh, Missis Padwick, but there ain’t nothing to beat Gnnnidge, with tea and shrimps ninepence, and a drop of summat mild in a jog, tho’ that Brown he, a losing of the cork, spilt all of it in my redicule, as unite spoilt my lace ankercher, a bargain as I bought in the ’Olloway So^.. to ' one-and-ten, though only marked a in the winder, through me bein short-sighted and not seein’ the tenpence in werry small letters, and after all would 'are been cheap at half the price, as the sayin’ is. Well, ere 1 ham in a ’otel which is werry fomfutable, the liquors being extra good, thoughi they does call ’em nobbiers, witch I never ear tell 0a before. Gisbung is a werry pretty'place, leastways as you don’t see the mud, which is perfectly awful, as was told the bother day by a respectable old gent, was that bad as fourteen waggons and ’ore® was sunk in tue middle of the Gladstone Road in one day, as is either true or a whopper, as Brown says. When I first came I was that frightened of them Maoris as was taken bad immedjut with palpertation though a drop of Crawford's, drawed mild, came m ’andy and were very grateful to the etummick. The wimmen is the wust as goes about, with patterns on their noses like a crotchet work desine in the Yung Ladies’ Jernel, as hi was alius fond of reedin’, tho’ hall rubhidge, as the sayin’ is and shorls round them as never could ave berleeved they was genooiue blacks, through me 'avin hoften seen ’em at fairs, but witch is hoften himpostures, as can remember well as 'ow Bonwell's boy, a himpident young wagabone, made me almost die with laughing at

Bosherville Gardings, through 'im creeping up close to a Bed Hingun as we 'ad paid tuppence to see, and young Bonwell a touchin of 'im up with a stick and ’im letting out a real Hirsh 'owl as was no Hingun at all, but only a tord as 'ad been in the wood and coal line, and gone through the Court, as the sayin' is. Well I remembers at Hexeter 'AU a earing a benevolent old gent in blue specs a pitchin’ in suite wiolent about the down trodden arborrigin®, I think he called 'em and a "alii"* out werry loud, who will elp these prfor people, and me a rummaging in my redicule for a fourpenny bit and not finding it, all along of dragging it hout in my ■andkemher whan takin' an 'am sangwitch sad a flash out and it a dropping on the floor ss was ewentnally picked hup by a sailer faced pussun with a glass eye as called me a low lying tiling when X asked ‘er for it arterwards. Ah, Missis Fadwick, I never thought ss ‘ow X should see the poor benited ‘eathen a puttin' a way big glasses of beer as if they were drinkin’ agin time as did my poor unde all Own im keep in' the Bailors' Harms in tho Whitechappie Boad, and a betting 'ow he could swaUer fourteen glass of rum *ot, bin an hour and 'im picked hup and poor aunt Xaxer that bad and the perlice a wanting to cancer 'is lisente for bad conduck the willins'. There are sum luvly shops ‘ere, tho’ they does sell candles and flat irons and ladies' himprovers as was things I never could abide, and aU in the same building. X ham getting well known 'ere now and am hinvited in the best lasriety, quite bong tong as Brown says, but he's allers a chaffing. Tomorrer I am going to what they calls the Gisbung breakwater which is to prevent see sickness, but as will make some of 'em feel pritty sick about pockets afore long and no mistake as the sayin’ is, look before you leep. Aud then Ml.rii Padwick, think of that, the candidate fir the 'Ouse of parlyment all wants to be hintrooduced to me and next week I'll tell you all about 'em, as likes candidates, well emharing as you knows well as ‘ow Lord Bandy has were standing for Paddington come round with his wife and asked hafter the childer as was verry kind, and ‘ad a bootiful muckstaah tho’ Brown he larfed and said it was only a dodge. Well good bye Sarah Padwick. Think of me when next you ‘as a fried sweetbread for supper and a drop of something warm on the ‘ob and believe me ever yours, Mabtheb Brows. p. g. The Salvation Harmy is ‘ere all the lime as at ‘ome. I’ll tell you all habout ’em in my next letter.