FLASHES!

Gisborne Standard and Cook County Gazette, Volume I, Issue 1, 9 June 1887, Page 3

FLASHES!

The Standard unfurls! Long may it wave I Remember our real motto, which is ; “The prosperity <>l the district.” Those who run the place down hud better look out for squalls I Memo, for dissatisfied readers: Two fine bull dogs, a shot gun, and a six-shooter kept on the premises, No posts need apply, We don't deal in that (ii'ticb, In answer to many applicants for a billet M reporter we may «ay they don’t fill the bill,

We want an M.A, (Oxon), one who can report the Police Court, Harbour Board and Borough Council meetings, a glove fight, and a Salvation Army discourse at one and the same time, also Interview insurance canvassers without committing ’homicide, and pick up type at odd moments. When that man offers, we are ready to give him a show. Till then, we pass. ”

The ruin, it rafae*-h every day, If the Borough Councillors don't improve Gladstone Road before long the ratepayers will have to buy life-belts.

Just opposite the Masonic yesterday the Vater was a foot deep on the Lowe street crossing. Blow the Jubilee, let’s have some have

some clean streets first, The Lynche’s to-morrow—a rtaj g6od show, and don’t you mistake ft. What with hymns and otherwise the Fisk Singers have done an immense business fa the South Island. ■ They have now gone on to Sydney, Every man jack in this colony has to contribute twelve shillings a week on an average as interest on our debts. . People say in the States that Ward Beecher would have turned Boman Catholio bad he lived a little longer. He turned a good many things in his time. Says the Napier Telegraph i A gentleman who has recently visited the Wairoa district informs us that the much abused soil of that country only requires to be tilled by capable farmers with sufficient capital to return good interest on the money invested. Our Poverty Bay land would knock spots out of the whole colony were it only properly opened up, Jimmy Carroll is going to run Wi Pere hard in the Hawkes Bay district. He is stumping the country down there. In the Napier Council’s new by-laws figures the word “double-horse.” What the dickens is this remarkable animal like ? It is an expensive job for the country when these Government special Commissioners are sent round. Investigating the claims of the old soldiers cost the Government the nice little figure of £551 for travelling exes. Disgraceful. Five hundred and fifty eight Auckland shopkeepers have signed the early closing petition. Talk about eight hours, some of the shopmen and girls work twelve to fifteen hours a day, The facsimile of Parnell’s alleged letter is being printed all round the Colony. Don’t believe he ever wrote it! Not such a fool by

a long way! The Pall Mall Gazette calls Salisbury’s Coercion measure the Star Chamber Bill. Coronet is the name of the yacht which won the Atlantic yacht race. Time from Queenstown to New York 14 days, 19 hours. The stake was £2OOO. New York gets through six million barrels of lager beer a year. What a thirsty lot they must be I Her Majesty is going to the opera in Jubilee week, She has not been to the theatre for nearly 15 years. It is said that Sir B, Stout, Sir J. Vogel, and Mr Ballance are to stump the country before the general election.

Pyke got terribly angry because the Auckland man, Hodge, said he had seen him. tight in Bellamys. The Press Association had to eat some very humble pie, A correspondent of the Hawera Star recommends the following Ministry:—Say Bracken for Education, Bruce for Lands, Fergus for Public Works, Ivess for Colonial Secretary, Samuel for Justice Seddon for Mines, and—yes, there’s the trouble—l must leave the Treasurer’s name blank; but they would find one somewhere.

Captain Turner, Messrs McCosh Clark, F. Mitchell, (Paeora), and George Vesey Stewart are all mentioned as likely candidates for Tauranga.

Three men will oppose John Bryce for the Waitotara seat, but the boundaries will change everything. Honest John is very unpopular in the Wanganui district, because he opposed the Harbor Bill. They do say that Ballance's face was a perfect picture when Katene was speaking against the Government. New Plymouth people want to have telegraphic communication between Auckland and the Mokau, , Wellington telegraph officials are doing a deadly growl because they are not allowed fires. The poor fellows are blue with cold— Want another big blaze to warm them up, Wellington has some very clever dramatic amateurs. One of them, Mr J. E. Read, recited the whole of Tennyson’s Enoch Arden from memory the other day, Oxford, Canterbury, has been jubilating the celibree already. A whole ox was roasted, and the Oxford people had a high old time,

Talk about stale news. Listen to this. A RSuter’s telegram published in Napier last Tuesday contains the same information as did a paragraph in the Melbourne Argus newspaper of ten days ago, and wbion reached Napier five days before the wire. Wellington v Hawkes Bay football match takes place on June 18. The little settlement of Opotiki exported during last year agricultural produce to the value of £16,000, The Taranaki News learns that a farmer up New Plymouth way has netted £7O for this season’s crop of water melons. Poor Tole, as Sir George Grey once called the Minister for Justice, is to have a powerful opponent for the Eden Seat in Mr Suiter, the well known Aucklander.