SINGULAR EPITAPHS

Gisborne Times, Volume LXXI, Issue 11382, 6 December 1930, Page 11

SINGULAR EPITAPHS

QUAINT GRAVEYARD HUMOR

MORE OLD EXAMPLES

An epitaph at Alston, Cumberland reads :• — -

Here lies poor Jones, Who all his life collected bones; But (loath, that great and grisly

spectre, That most amazing hone collector. Hath honed poor Jones so neat and tidy, Ifliat here lie lies in bona-fide.

Another Jones epitaph is in Wolverhampton. Church (1090): —

Here lies the. bones of Joseph Jones, Who eat whilst he was able ; But once o’er fed He dropt down dead. And fell beneath the table. . ' When from the tomb; To meet his doom. He rises amidst sinners; -.Since he must dwell In honv'n or hell Take him-—which gives best dinners.

At West Down, there is an eighteenth-century epitaph in which wit and philosophy are combined:—

Reader, pass on, nor waste your precious time On bad biography and murdered rhyme : What | was IfW’ore’s well Jcijown to my neighbours; What 1 am now is no concern of

vours.

There is a curious eighteenth-cen-tury specimen at Welton, Porkshire :—-

Here lietli the old Jeremy who hath eight times married been but now in bis old ago be lies in bis cage under the grass so green which Jeremiah Simp Son 'departed this Life in the 84- years of his age in the year of our Lord

1710

This is to be found ;it Potierne "Wiltshire ;

Here lies Alary, the wife of John Ford. Ve hope her soul is gone to the Lord; But if for Hell die has chang’d this life Site had better be there than be John Ford’s wife.

An inscription at Ockham. Surrey, is not in the proper sense of epitaph ;

The Lord saw good. I was lopping off wood, And down fell from the tree ; I met with a check, and T broke my neck And so death lopped off mo.

At Ripon (Yorks)

Here lies poor bin. honest Bryan Tun stall

Ho was a most expert angler until Death, envious of his mart throw out his line, hooked him

landed liipi 'hero the 21 si day of April. 170;).

An example at Selby (1700) dis plays a gentle humor: — ,

Hero lies the body of poor Frank Row. , Parish Clerk. and grave' stonecutter. And this is writ to let you know. What Ftank for others us’d to do. Ts now for Frank done by another.