WEEK-END CHAT

Greymouth Evening Star, 27 June 1925, Page 8

WEEK-END CHAT

GRAIN AND CHA FF.

(By

“Mackay”).

‘‘Try becoming dissatisfied with yourself instead of with your job.” “Happy is 1 the man who believes in his fellow, for it is more blessed to be deceived in some things than to be suspicious in all things.’■ “A cheery disposition is like air in a tyre. There doesn’t seem to be much of it, but it makes the going easier and happier for everybody. The rough.-, er the react, the more you need it."',. One Westland motorist calls his two seater “The Covered Wagon,” because he’s got a. mortgage on it. Two Greymouth clerks were talking “shop.” “Is there much competition in your office?” asked'one. “Rather —between the mirror and the clock,” replied the other. An imaginative Christchurch tourist on his return, home told the following story of a Coast town. He claims that he said to a resident: “Can you direct me to the best hotel in this town.” “I can,” replied the man, “but I hate to do it.” “Why?”. “Because you’ll think, you’ve seen it, that I’m a liar.” A Cobden girl was being washed, and was uttering her customary protest.

“I wish,” she said earnestly,V‘that I need never, never have to be washed again.” “I’m afraid,” said her mother gently, “that as long as you have me tc take care of you, you’ll have to make up your mind to being washed thoroughly every day.” The girl pondered for a moment. “Then,” she said, “I shall iftarrj early!” At one Coast football match recently the home team were getting the worst of the* battle. The rival supporters were deep in healted argument, and angry words flew like sparks from an anvil. “What our team needs,” said one home supporter, “is a 'really gbod coach.” "What your team needs,” replied the visitors’ barracker, “is a really strong, 3'eliable hearse.” It took ten men to part them. Two prospectors sat smoking in a shack far away in the back country. No feminine presence ever graced that settlement, and . domestic arrangements were primitive. The conversation drifted from politics to cooking, and one of the bachelors said: “I got one of them there cookery books once, but I never could do anjThing with it.” “Too much fancy work about it?” asked the other. “You’ve hit it. Every one o’ them recipes began in the same way, ‘Take a clean dish and that settled me at once.” Preparations and practice for the forthcoming competitions recall the story of two young Christchurch lawyers, trying to make a reputation as orators/ They happened to be pitted against each other in argument. Both spoke at great length and in closing, the second sneaker remarked that lie was sorry to find his colleague on the wrong side, for there was every reason Avliy they should agree. “We were

brought up together, we studied together and we were born on the same day.” “Did I understand you to say that you were born on the same day?” ask. ed the judge. “Yes,” came the prompt reply. “On the very same day?” “Yes, sir.” “Then it must have. been , a very windy day,” In a North Island town a touring company had given their last performance the previous evening, and the manager was settling up with the theatre authorities, “Your show is the worst we have 'ever had here,” remarked the theatre manager in icy tones, as he handed over a share of the box office receipts to the touring company’s “boss.” “That’s rather strange!” exclaimed the latter. “Why, do you know that when we played in Wellington we had the longest run the city had ever known!” “I’m very sorry indeed !” replied the theatre manager. “Sony -about what?” “I’m very sorry indeed,” he retorte'd “that the audience abandoned the chase!” A Coast Scot asked a compatriot how he was, and he received the reply : “Verra we-el, verra weel, if it wasn’t for the rheumatism in ma riclit leg.” < “Ah, but you must not complain,” responded the other. “You are getting old, like the rest of us, and old age does not come- alone.” “Auld age has naethin’ to do wi’ ’t. Here s ma ither leg, ju-ist as auld, an’ its soond an’ soople yet.”