“WE’RE HERE BECAUSE WE’RE HERE.”

Greymouth Evening Star, 23 March 1911, Page 2

“WE’RE HERE BECAUSE WE’RE HERE.”

ALIMONY CLUB DINNER IN GAOL

American optimism was strangely exemplified yesterday (says the New York correspondent of the Daily Telegraph) when twenty members of the Alimony Club, now in seclusion in New York Gaol because of default in the payment of allowances to their wives, from whom they have separated, participated in the Chistmas festivities. These Alimonists are not treated like ordinary prisoners, and the warder of the gaol allowed them to carry out the annual custom of dining together upon turkey and plum-pudding, with plenty of beer and cigars to round off the feast. The warder himself presided, bidding the refractory husbands eat, drink, and be merry, and, with the assistance of a harmonica, they Joyfully obeyed. It was apparently the most convivial affair in the club’s history. Only one or two discordant notes were struck. One member, still possessing a vestige of sentiment, requested permission to sing “Home, Sweet Home!” but the motion was lost by a vote of nine to one, and an amendment in favour of “We’re here because we’re here” was substituted unanimously. Addresses delivered by many of those present were all to the effect that, if they had known how pleasan* it was in gaol, they would have got locked up long ago. Then they sang the club anthem, written by a veteran member, and Jealously preserved in the archives, entitled, “We’d rather be in gaol than married.” This anthem was encored, and was sung with greater fervour each succeeding time. One facetious member read letters of regret, which he vowed he had received from various married friends, nearly all of whom promise to grace the feast next Chrsitmas. “No wedding-bells for me,” the most popular song of the day, was followed by cheers for freedom. Carried away by the Joyous spirit of the occasion, one member suggested that each man should tell precisely what he thought of his wife, but the, warden, declaring he was responsible for law and order, vetoed the Proposal. Then came “I wonder who’s kissing her now,” after which the Alimonists, twenty strong, formed in line, and, to the stirring strains of “The Girl I left behind me,” marched to the adjoining room to get a Christmas gift from the Christmas tree. Every member received as a souvenir a lawyer’s bill tied up with a baby-blue ribbon. There was loud cheering when the youngest member of the club called attention to the fact that the Chistmas tree was absolutely destitute of preposterouslycolored * neckties, gorgeously-hued braces, ill-fitting gloves, and immature cigars, with which, he said, he had been assailed at half-a-dozen. Christmases immediately preceding his nualification for the Alimony Club. By way of hilarious climax, every man present again sang, “I wonder who’s kissing her now,” after which the war den declared the gambols closed.