BIRTH DECLINE IN VERSE

Evening Star, Issue 22619, 10 April 1937, Page 11

BIRTH DECLINE IN VERSE

AN A. P. HERBERT GEM Mr A. P. Herbert, M.P. (Independent. Oxford University), whose two political platforms are the anomalies of closing hours and English divorce law, has written on the decline of the birth rate, in ‘ Punch ’: — In 1937 was a rumour going round, That Income Tax was soon to be six shillings in the pound. The cost of education every season seemed to swell, And to everyone’s astonishment the population fell. They pulled down all the houses where 'the children used to crowd And buflt delightful blocks of flats where children weren’t allowed; And if father got a job there wasn’t anywhere to dwell, But to everyone’s astonishment the population fell. Five hundred brand-new motor cars each morning rode the roads, And flashed about like comets or sat motionless as toads; Whichever course they took they made the public highway hell, And to everyone’s astonishment the population fell. Abroad, to show that everyone was passionate for peace, All children under seven joined the army of police; The babies studied musketry while mother filled a shell. And all the nations wondered why the population fell. The world, in short, which never was extravagantly sane, Developed all the signs of inflammation of the brain; The past was not encouraging, the future none could tell, And some of us were not surprised the population fell.