BY THE WAY

Evening Star, Issue 21138, 25 June 1932, Page 2

BY THE WAY

IBs Q.V.]

" The time lias come,” the Walrus said, “ To talk of many things.”

“ The Treasurer acknowledges receipt, of eightpencc 1 conscience money- 5 1 —‘ Government Gazette.’ Conscience money arises this way: Almost everyone’s conscience at one time or another falls into a coma or deep sleep. Some consciences never awaken during business hours, but normally the fits do not last long, and leave no ill-effects. If during such a period the owner of the conscience sees a chance of diddling the Government, his primary predatory instincts impel him to do so. Later on conscience resumes business again and puts a lot of nasty questions to him. “ Was this right?” it says. <c Was it just? Is it sound economies? Would It be approved *of by Professor Lawson, •E.W.F.,’ ‘ Popoffski,’ or the New Zealand Welfare League?”—to mention only a few authorities —and it decides that it would not. So the worried citizen goes out and buys a postal note Or a few stamps, puts them in an envelope, addresses them to the department concerned marked " Conscience money, with care, nse no hooks,” and posts them. In the course of time the sum drifts into the Treasury, and an acknowledgment is printed in the * Gazette.’ Whether the sender will ever see it there or not is a mystery. We do not know even whether the ‘ Gazette ’ is published daily, weekly, or monthly, or >at irregular intervals. No newsboy, no postman, ever leaves a copy at our door. _ We should not like to own a conscience which makes such a fuss over eightpence. We should be afraid to use it, and should get rid of it at the first opportunity. « « « * There has been a revival of magic in the Hartz Mountains (Germany), when an ineffectual attempt was made in the presence of several scientists to turn a black goat into a handsome youth.— Cable item. In the mountains of the Hartz They pursue their magic arts, , Though the days are now departed, dead, and dim Of those goblins, gnomes/ and trolls Who enthralled our infant souls Through the medium of the good Gebruder Grimm. How our nerves were set a-tingle By Jorinda and Joringel And the soldier with his magic tinder box! We enjoyed the whole affair Of the Skrattel and the Bear And the lamentable tale of Mr Fox. So magicians played their parts In the mountains of the Hartz; And, meeting any sort of local beast, You might easily surmise _ Him a princeling in disguise Or a youth of wondrous beauty at the least. But I never read in Grimm, Tho’ I’ve often studied him Or them (for there were two to tell tho truth), That a sable billygoat, With liis evil-smelling coat, Could become a very handsome kind of youth. There was one who went incog. In the likeness of a frog, And one became a bird through magic spells; But I never could discover, Though I’ve looked the stories over,, That a billygoat could change to someone else. But the wizards nowadays Show contempt for olden ways. And think that if magicians icing -ago Succeeded now and then In changing beasts to men A goat could he transmogrified also. They took the luckless hilly And forced him, willy nilly, To undergo their stock of magic charms. They uttered incantations And solemn adjurations, They chanted various spells and waved their arms. But Billy’s iron will Resisted all their skill. . They couldn’t turn a hair upon Ins coat. They might have worked their charms On the adder in the Psalms, But not upon a giddy garden goat! So, modern wizards, hearken. Gfimm’s Kinder-und-Hansmarchen _ Are still the safest text books for in. - • quiries. You will find examples, there , Of the Frog and Bird and Bear: Bub a goat is . absolutely ultra vires.” • * # - * Mr De Valera, the Spanish-American gentleman in horn-rinmied glasses who Is running the Irish Free State at the moment, is receiving the benevolent neutrality, and perhaps a little more, of what isjeft of tho British Labour Party. Mr Lansbury, its leader, sees uo reason why Mr Do Valera fehould not tear up the treaty entered into when the State was formed, should he so desire. Whether this view is prompted ; by a love for the JFreo State or a dislike to England was not made clear in the lion, gentleman’s speech, but we have our own ideas on the subject. Mr Lloyd George has pronounced against the De Valera standpoint, which is a good indication of how the House of Commons spes the question. Mr George has a flair for the big battalions, and is seldom wrong in his judgment as to which side is likely to come Out on top. Mr J)e Valera admits that he has not a mandate, as the phrase goes, for his actions, but says he null get one later on, when the washing is on the line, Bo to speak. In the meantime he purposes to do as he jolly well pleases, and if he can manage to have things both ways so much the better. Unfortunately few manage to have things both ways, ovOn when dealing with the soft-hearted British Government. * * • • Sunday’s fire in Dunedin, the most disastrous concerning a private residence for many years, revived memories. “ Oiio told me, Heraclitus, of thy fate) ho brought me tears, he brought me memories.” And if we did hot shed any tears it was_ because wo are too much occupied with our own troubles to have a very keen sympathy with those of others. In the days before - there was any t#ttm service here, and men wore belltqppers openly on the streets on week days, and such as were unemployed existed on private charity and hope, it was the custom for insurance companies to affix a sort of metal plaque on such houses as dealt with its particular office. These plates bore the name of tho company affected, and a device of some sort or other for further identification —a pair of clasped hands, a tower, a dove hearing a cheque book and pen in its beak, or what not—to show all and sundry that the building was under the protection of such-and-such a company. Those plates were partly an advertisement —the more of

them- the more prosperous presumably was the company; primarily, however, they were survivals of an old custom obtaining in London, the home of insurance. There were not any fire brigades in existence in the early _ days of insurance, but each of the big companies maintained its own force. If on arrival at the conflagration the firemen perceived that the building was insured in an office other than their own, they just let it burn. It was not their pigeon.. Possibly some of these ancient plaques might still bo found by a diligent search of the Dunedin streets, but the companies have long ago abandoned tho issue of new ones. • * * P. Most of .the coal miners of the dominion, with the exception of the stalwarts m the north, have gone back to work. They have suffered the loss of, a considerable sum in wages, have caused the Government and people of the dominion a considerable amount of anxiety, and no doubt gained a notable victory. To the lay and uninformed eye matters seem much the same as they were, but no doubt “ ’twas a glorious victory.” Victories, unfortunately, have to be paid for by someone. Although in the new order of things in force there is no such thing as secret diplomacy, we have an intuition that’ the full history of the strike (or was it a lock-out?) has not been mad© publio hy either side, no doubt on the humane principle of letting_ sleeping dogs sleep in peace. The disturbance very nearly spread, and might nave ended in who knows what trouble. The crew of a collier intimated they would perish of cold feet at the telephone rather than proceed to Newcastle, where it was suspected the vessel was to load a coal cargo for New Zealand, Tho tars forgot that in the present depressed state of shipping there'are plenty of other steamers —British and foreign—that would jump at the chance of securing a freight in this way. In any case the seamen were not called upon to stretch their consciences. The miners announced that they would tackle the pick again, the steamer was diverted to Greymouth, and all was well. We really do not see what the seamen had to do with the matter. Apparently they were demonstrating the solidarity of Labour, and were prepared to demonstrate at the expense of the community, a body whose claims are seldom recognised at such times. Mr Holland could no doubt explain, if ho had the time and inclination to do so, - * * •. MERCY AND JUDGMENT IN THE UNITED STATES. In little old America, the Land of Libertee, , , .... ■. • ' You can’t convict a burglar if the jury disagree j And, if they find him guilty, then the judge will set him free. They collared Dan M'Geogheghan (and it seems a cruel shame _ . To haye so many letters in a trisyllabic name. You’ve got the Gaelic system of orthography to blaine).

They took him to his trial, and the jury in the court = Were somewhat undecided on the verdict that they brought; For some of them were frightened, and some of them were bought. They had another trial just to. get the matter square; , ~ The judge and State Attorney and tho rest of them were there, All shaking in their shoes; but Danny . never, turned a hair. The trial was proceeding, and it really seemed as though They honestly intended that the prisoner should go _ • To gaol and penal servitude tor misbehaving so. Up rose the State Attorney, an extremely nervous man, And said: “Oh, judge, consider, and be cautious while you can; . You mustn’t be a party to the punishing of Dan. “ It’s true he’s robbed the bank and got considerable loot; But Danny is a gangster of position and repute. , His followers are many, and they re quite prepared to shoot. “You mustn’t_ send their leader to adorn a prison cell. .. They’ve got the bank officials (most unfortunate to tell) Surrounded by machine guns m a! neighbouring hotel. “ And, if you pass this sentence, it’s as clear as: morning -light ■. That you and I may. find ourselves before to-morrow night All shivering and shaking in the same unhappy plight. “ If judge aiid State Attorney, too, for putting him away . , Were made unseemly corpses in the light of common day, ' . The terrible calamity would shake the U.S.A. i c Remember, too, that sin will always find the Sinner out: , His conscience will torment bun most exceedingly, no doubt. It’s often just the way that reformation’s brought about.’

The judge left Danny’s conscience to convict him of his sin._ Perhaps ’twill save the sinner, as it . (■ saved the judge’s skin. Aiid Danny left the courthouse with a broad and brutal grin.

When Justice thinks of mercy tbero are wonders often done; But still, I’m not denying there’ll bo quite a lot of fun Ere Danny is converted and abjures hit little gun.