LONDON LAUGHS

Evening Star, Issue 20995, 8 January 1932, Page 1

LONDON LAUGHS

K- I A LORDS STORIES

SHRUNKEN SHIP GANDHI’S LOINCLOTH _ The pre-election parliamentary situation had its humours. A story of the crisis which provokes curiosity has just come out, writes A. D. Devine, London correspondent of the ‘ Cape Times,’ in that journal. _ During the first meeting of the National Cabinet there was friction—or at any rate, strain. In .the middle of a prolonged session hunger began to toll on the Ministers. As time pressed and an adjournment for a meal was out of the question, a hasty cold buffet was arranged. Daring the refreshment interval the strain continued. It showed signs of continuing afterward. Ministers ycere worried. Then Lord Sankey began to tell stories. Tired and irritated Ministers were interested, amused, and finally convulsed. The situation was saved. Lord Sankey had broken the ice. . The cackle of geese saved Rome on a memorable occasion. Will this crisis go down in history as the time when England was saved by a story—Stock Exchange’type P For one assumes naturally that the stories were.of that kind. Otherwise would not an anthology of them have been published days ago? COWARDICE. The lack of courage on the part cf our parliamentary leaders is at times disheartening. Look at_ Mr Seymour Cocks, who wanted to rise to a point of order. He failed to catch the Speaker’s ©ye, and the division hell cut across his intentions. Now there is a rule that during a division a member may only raise a point of order “seated and covered, and Mr Seymour Cocks had no hat. _ . In vain he looked around' him. The venerable topper sported by_ Major Graham Pole has disappeared since the major went into opposition. His more plebeian headgear the major parks outside_ the Chamber. There was nothing in sight. , Then someone had an inspiration, Mrs Manning, who was sitting near the front, had hei; hat snatched from her head. It was tossed over quickly to Mr Cocks. It reached him safely—and then Mr Cocks’s convictions failed him. Doubtfully he; gazed at the feminine headgear, then he put it aside—and abandoned his point of order, FIAT LUX. "i The’liarsh glue nl publicity may beat upon the House of Commons, but the House sees no reason why it should put up with the softer glow of a battery of flood-lighting lamps. I took some friendsfrom Cape Town round the illuminations the other night. Buckingham Palace pleased them, and St. James’s Park enchanted. But when we got to Big Ben’s tower there was no light. My friends were That great monument of the Gothic Revival upsoaring into the 'night sky was distinctly one of the sights. ■I set out to find the reason.

Members of the House of Commons had complained. The lights were cancelled except during the week-ends. The reason given was that the crowds that had gathered to see the illumination had prevented members from reaching the House. Anyone except the amazing English would long ago have seen in that fact an admirable reason for flooding the whole facade of Westminster with light!' • LEVIATHAN.

Fpr a long time the American eagle has been screeching about owning the largest ship in the world. According to American measurement the Leviathan, pride of the United States mercantile marine,, was a ship of just on 60,000' tons—and therefore bigger than the Majestic (56,621 tons). As a matter of fact; 1 the two ships were built from the same frame plans, except that_ the Majestic was lengthened by the insertion of two frames, thus giving her a slightly increased displacement. The United States, .however, has a method of measurement of its own—a method with great advertisement value. But advertisement of that kind costs money when port dues are reckoned on a tonnage basis. The Leviathan is an expensive ship. Times are.hard in the shipping.world. The Leviathan has been remeasured. Nothing has happened to her, nothing has been cut off. To-day she measures 50,000 tons. GANDHISMS. The war for the honour of giving shelter to the Mahatma was settled. _ The night he arrived Mr Gandhi went to stay with Miss Lester at Bow, After a week, he declared that Bow is too far away for him to keep in touch comfortably with the members of the conference. Next week he moved to Hampstead. Incidentally, Mr Gandhi very nearly did not reach London, even after all the false starts were satisfactorily overcome. On the way up from Folkestone his car took no fewer than three wrong turnings. His declaration at the Customs at Folkestone was typical. Asked if he had anything dutiable to declare, he said: “lama poor mendicant. _ All my earthly possessions consist of six spinning wheels, prison dishes, a _ can of goat’s milk, six homespun loincloths, one towel, and,my reputation, which cannot be worth much.” One begins to see a certain affinity between Gandhi and Mr Bernard Shaw. TJie Mahatma, it is credibly _ recorded, put on two ounces in weight during the voyage. Up to the present he has carried himself admirably in London, holding secret conferences at the Dorchester Hotel with the Premier, accepting oranges from the daughter of the Pearly King of Hoxtou, wearing his loincloth, talking to Movietone News, and using his spinning wheel as a defence from importunities. Only once has he failed. One evening lie appeared on the roof of the settlement at Bow in trousers. No one can explain jvhat this meant to the conference,-