The Roller-Skating Craze.

Evening Star, Issue 7496, 14 April 1888, Page 1 (Supplement)

The Roller-Skating Craze.

Nearly everybody caught it. People who vowed they wouldn't put on a pair of those skates to save the world from destruction have gone and done it. The modest old maids, who declared the whole thing ho shocking and indecent, havo been persuaded by a ' particular friend, you know,' just to try it; and, having tried it once, they keep on trying it. If you are thinking of skating, be sure that you have a pretty foot, for this kind of business shows off a big foot to horrid advantage. You want well-fitting boots, stockings that show a gleam of color, a tailor-made suit, and a mind regardless of consequences. By consequences, we mean tumbling over in a heap with anybody who happens to have tumbled over ; barked noses, broken jewellery, sore backs, wrenched spinal columns, punched stomachs, scratched faces, the remarks of spectators, and other things too numerous to mention. When you first get on rollers, you will feel as if your heels were about to run away with your head. All creation will seem like an inclined plane, and very much inclined at that. You will grasp frantically your companion's arm, and you will feel seasick and dizzy, and as if you had swallowed nine anti-bilious pills, and as if you wished you were at home, where everything did not have such a habit of whirling around. You will expect to run afoul of everybody on the floor, and if you manage to steer clear of two-thirds of them, you may congratulato yourself. There is a good deal of unexpectedness about roller-skating. You must givo your mind to the thing in question ; you had better not think of how your bustle sticks out, or indulge in speculations touching the hang of your drapery, or the straightened out condition of your frizzes. Let those things take care of themselves and trust in faith. Cling to the arm of Augustus for dear life. Think of the motto—" United we stand, divided we fall' —and hold on. If he cannot support you now, he never can. Bid defiance to all the jealous old cats who are looking on, and privately indulging in the hope that you will fall and make a spectacle of yourself. Strike out boldly, determined to conquer or die, If your back does not give out, and you can keep your ankles stiff, and you don't catch tho neuralgia, you will probably conquer—in time. The next day after your first performance when you wake up you will feel as if all creation were out of joint. You won't be able to tell where you feel the sorest. You almost fancy that you are a Chinese puzzle which has been taken apart and put together again with something missing. You are so soro you can hardly bear your corsets on; and when you button your boots, the top of your head, where Sarah Ann Jones's skate hit you, feels as if it would lift off. But you brace up, and tell your mother, who is an anxious inquirer, and who was dreadfully opposed to your going to that rink, that you nover felt better! and that skating is delightful! ane that she ought to learn herself! Oh, it is all in a lifetime, and nobody has yet descended to the depths of misery, or risen to the heights of exaltation, who has not been young, and worn a bewitching costume, and succeeded in roller-skating ! 'Exchange.'