POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXXVIII, Issue 134, 4 December 1944, Page 4

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

One pound notes were first issued by the Bank of England during tha Napoleonic War. - * ♦ * ■ "The Soviet divisions are still roll-; ing on. There is no need to be scared." —German Radio. * « ♦ Five theatrical companies crossed to? France and gave shows to the troops' within the .first three weeks of DDayj * * .'*..■•" I FINED. FOR SNEEZING. * ; At the Snuffers' Club, Crawley, Susl sex, rules provide fines for failing ttf produce snuff box, offering or taking snuff with the wrong hand, sneezing after taking snuff, or. proffering men-! thol or other medicated snuff. Money] raised goes to the Red Cross Prisoner* of War Fund, and over 200 menrtjersf have contributed more than £156. \ * -a- ♦ SWEET FANTAIL. . Dear Flage,—No other place in the world could depict the graceful scene of an early-morning fantail flittering.) ly poised against a backcloth of gossaS mer almond green kowhai foliage. 1 \ To quote Kipling's "Flowers": have' you seen "broom behind the windy] town" this year? •-The two. must" be synonymous. Good luck to the col* umn.—Yours, .1 "NGAIO^r Broom—acres of it. * ' *-.'.♦ THAT'S AN IDEA! . An Aberdonian wrote to a Binning^ ham firm asking them to forward a] packet of shaving-paper. He omitted! however, to enclose payment. j The reply from Birmingham referred} him to" page 445 of the firm's catalogue,' where it, was distinctly stated:— ■, "All small orders should be accompanied by a remittance." • • • The Aberdonian replied by return:— "Dear Sirs,—lf ■ I had possessed'a catalogue with 445 pages I should not have ordered any shaving paper. Please send catalogue now." , * ~ •» ' „♦ ; . BALD—ER—DASH. *\ I've trjed a score of lotions And many a tonic rare, - . All highly recommended For the growing of new hair. I've never missed a "sure thing," But lavishly I've bought— ■' ■ (And to hurry matters on a bit The masseur's chair I've sought). I've gone without a hat, In weather foul or fine, And all I have achieved Is a horrid, crimson shine! . I've parted with my cash, With 'many, hopes and sighs, But still my c^nium is A resting place for flies! " •' " ■ T E. * * ♦. UPSET. , American Brooklyn residents are "gunning" for Noel Coward in consequence of a passage in his new book, "Middle East Diary." Coward says he talked with tough men from Texas and Arizona, who were magnificent specimens, but he was less impressed by the" mournful little Brooklyn boys, who were in tears with nothing worse than a bullet wound in the leg or a fractured arm. Brooklynians are crying out, "Who does this Coward think he; is, anyhow?" Returned soldiers are particu.' larly incensed. One said: "Our boys are as big and tough as those from any State. Since when have elephants greater courage than wild cats?' The Brooklyn gang is tough. Coward oughi to come here and look at them."