POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXXVI, Issue 72, 22 September 1943, Page 4

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

"Northland": Pre-election Ps—Pineapples, pyjamas, potatoes, and petrol (perhaps). « * * Hitler once said: "I will stand to the end with my people." He had better keep out of the way of those Stalin-grad-battered savage German prisoners. * # * I Hope: After listening in to the election promises, have you ever thought of looking for fairies at the bottom of i yojir garden? I wonder in whose garden the fairies will dance? • - - * * * INFORMATION. Dear Mr. Flage,—Would you please tell me through your column in the "Evening Post" if Joe Louis was ever I beaten by Max Schmeling in the world championship.—Thanking you, P. GRANT. Joe Louis knocked out the German in the first round, June 22, 1938. « *, ♦ HOME FRONT. Much well-merited thought is being given to the rehabilitation of servicemen after the war, but seemingly none to rehabilitating the army of inspectors and commissioners on the home front after the election. By the • way, could the latter be properly designated an "army of occupation"? —J.S. **. ■ ♦ LOVE, HONOUR, AND OH, BABY! Dear Flage,—Not long ago I overheard the following domestic dialogue: She: George, please rock baby's cradle. He: Why should I rock the baby? She: He's crying. And besides, don't forget half of him's yours, and you should take your turn. He: Well, isn't the other half yours? She: I suppose so. He: All right then, you can rock your half and let my half go on crying. , L.D.A. » * * TWO B's. Reminiscences of elections of early days in New Zealand bring1 back to me a humorous occurrence at a Wanganui election in the late seventies. • Messrs.' Ballance, Bryce, and Sir William Fox were the contestants for the seat. In those days, banners of every kind were allowed to be paraded in the streets on election day, and the following was put out by Sir William Fox:—"Vote for Fox and beware of the sting of the two B's." However, the B's stung to seme effect, and John, Ballance was the successful candidate. Yours, F.W. * * * ELECTION FORECAST. (Featuring the "Infernal" Marketing Dept.) Peter and Walter and Bob and Pat, On the Treas'ry seats for eight years sat; . And in that time passed many a law That made John Citizen gasp, "Whaffor?" With so many "cants" they hedged him round, That John was pretty well gagged and bound: Licence for this, a ticket for that, Made life just wearisome, stale, and I fiat. But the final goad that made him see A gory red, was the 1.M.D.: For goods became scare and prices soared, Till John arose in his wrath and roar'd: "Enough of this. I will sweep the board!" ... So on ballot day he took his pen And struck out the names of all these men: And Peter and Walter and Bob and Pat On the Treas'ry seats no longer sat: Thus freedom prevailed—and that was that! C.L. * . *. ■ * NAMES. Speaking of names—ours, like Smith, Jones, Brown, Colonel Blimp, etc., could be improved on. We ought to have something more romantic, like I the Indians, viz., Falling Water, Standing Orders, Leaping Stag, Lying Hound, Running Nose, Sitting Bull, Jumping Jehosophat, Rising Prices. Or, Pocahontas, Hocaspocas, Cocakolas. Or, again, Hiawatha, Hiapurchase, Hiababy. Come to think of it, though, we shouldn't copy the Indians; they were very backward. Not a bomb, howitzer, or pint of phosgene in the whole place. C.W.