POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXXV, Issue 19, 23 January 1943, Page 4

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAQE

Hitler is working Antonescu To keep on coming to the rescu. ■» * * Russian proverb: "Life has become unbearable; but one cannot get used to death either. * * * A good story-teller, so I.S.C. tells us, is a person who has a good memory and hopes other people haven't? * * * Speaking about Petain to Hungarian journalists, Goering called the Frenchman a verikalkter trottel (senile idiot). Anyhow, the Reichmarshal certainly is a fathead. * * * KILLER! Admiral Halsey, after the Santa Crux scrap, to reporters' questions as to his recipe for victory: "Kill Japs! Kill Japs! Kill more Japs!" * * * CHANGE OVER. Things have changed with Lord Haw Haw. Two years ago he called the New Zealanders' poor country lads. Some months ago he described them as butchers from Syria. * * * SHORT SHRIFT FOR SHORTS. The Mayor of Burbridge, Canada, has ruled that war economy is no excuse for women to wear shorts. He has instructed the rigid enforcement of a village bylaw providing a fine of £2 2s for persons convicted of appearing in shorts in public. * * * OH, FLAGE —r-! How could you let "Diana" use That pen-name which myself did choose. And modestly, for many a year. In Col. 8 it did appear. I've had a really trying time Denying that I wrote the rhyme. And while I pat her on the back For sentiment about the slack. Just tell her when she writes to you To change her name to No. 2. DIANA No. L, * * * "SISSY" PARACHUTES. Most people will be surprised to know that the first recorded case of a pilot "bailing out" of a combat plane took place on October 19, 1918. The authority for this statement is the celebrated Lieut.-Colonel H. E. Hartney, commander of the First Pursuit Group of the U.S.A. Air Service in the last World War. He writes in his book, "Up and At 'Em," that on the date mentioned one of his "boys" shot down a Fokker, but the German pilot made a safe descent behind the Allied lines with a parachute. He also adds that during 1914-18 'chutes were scorned by airmen as "sissy-boy things." * * * HUMAN GREATNESS. Talking of "human greatness," remember your wisecrack to that effect? writes "10 Stone." Read this yarn I cut out of "Tit-Bits": A tomb of popular interest near the font in All Saints' Church, Maldon, Essex, is that of Edward Bright, who died in 1750, aged 29. He weighed 44 stones, measured round the chest sft 6in, round the stomach 6ft llin, round the middle of his arm 2ft 2in, and round his leg 2ft Bin, being sft 9Jin in height. After his death a wager that five men could be buttoned within his waistcoat was decided at the Black Bull, Maldon, when not only the five men proposed, but seven men, were actually enclosed therein without breaking a stitch or straining a button. The said waistcoat is still preserved. * # »-." THE SCARECROW. All winter through I bow my heatf Beneath the driving rain; The North Wind powders me with snow And blows me black again; At midnight under a maze of stars I flame with glittering rime, And stand, above the stubble, stiff As mail at morning-prime. But when that child called Spring, and all His host of children come, Scattering their buds and dews upon These acres of my home, Some rapture in my rag awakes; I lift void eyes and scan The skies for crows, those ravening foes Of my strange master, Man. I watch him striding, lank behind His dashing team, and know Soon will the wheat swish body-high Where once lay sterile snow; Soon shall I gaze across the sea Of sun-begotten grain, Which my unflinching watch hath sealed For harvest once again. This poem, by Walter de la Mare^ was asked for by M.J.K., Napier. * * * NOT APOCRYPHAL! A bookseller in Wellington assures me of the truth of the following:— Owing to the usual shortage of stocks he had heard the junior girl say to a customer: "No, I'm sorry we haven't got that." He called her to him and explained that in such a case she should try to interest the customer in something else, and especially avoid being abrupt. A day or two later he saw a very severe looking lady enter the shop and approach the junior with the inquiry: "Have you a copy of the Apocrypha?" The young girl looked uncomfortable, saw the proprietor standing by, shivered like a ship striking a rock, and answered: "Excuse me, but is it a weebkly or a monthly?"