POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXX, Issue 143, 13 December 1940, Page 6

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronizle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

It looks as though there is at least one way for punters to Enrich themselves presently. * * * Henry: After the Dagoes, the night comes —for Mussolini. W « # Then there was the ventriloquist who left a circus to make more moneyselling parrots. * * ■* There's a catch in this spectacular desert round-up: the captors will have to feed the blighters. . . * *. * Secretary to the Ministry of Food: "It was not the roast beef of England but home-made bread and cheese which made our ancestors." * * * Mullah Sahib of Bhutan: If the Italian march to Alexandria means anything, it is a call to the Moslems of the world to resume the crusades after seven centuries. * * * . DREAMS. While Mussolini now, it see^s, Hss nightly, rather nasty dreams, That paperhanger fellow, : Though daily 'pasted" from the sky, Does he still **ream that by-and-by All Britons r'Ui be yellow? DRUM. * * * BRAIN-TEASERS. Official answers to last Saturday's problems: (1) 26, 29, 45. , (2) A grimacing gargoyle is less aggravating than a giggling gigolo. Further solutions: Zee Dee, Margaret (Palmerston North), Lander, "Easywork," Oban and W.W. clued out both teasers; Elsie, Fifth Form, and Danny scored with No. 2 only. There will be the usual pair of problems tomorrow. After that, this feature will close down until the late autumn; this is usually done. * * * SPELLBINDER. Dr. "Yonston, schoolmaster in the village of Newcastle, New Brunswick, tried to supplement his income by acting as an insurance agent; a local storeekeper promised to take out a policy, but, being short of cash, asked to be allowed to defer payments for a few months. When the schoolmaster called to collect the money the shopkeeper was apologetic. "The fact is," he said, "one of your boys came to see me last week and spun such a good yarn, that I gave him the business." That schoolboy is now Britain's Minister of Aircraft Production, Lord Beaverbrook. * * * SPARROWS' WONDER TRIP. (Contributed by "Pigeon-raiser.") Three English sparrows have followed two human beings for 9000 miles. They became friendly with Lieut-Commander and Mrs. Holton. (U.S. Navy) when they lived in Kansas City, and from there followed the couple to San Francisco. By. day they flew behind the train and at night are believed to have travelled on the car roof immediately above the Holtons' compartment At San Francisco the bird saw them off and turned back when they sailed for Shanghai. But many weeks later those birds arrived at Shanghai, found their human friends, and chirped outside their window. There are about 7000 miles of water between San Francisco and Shanghai, but there is no doubt about the identity of the sparrows, who were recognised by independent and reliable witnesses. * * * THIS WEIRD WORLD. Two boys born on the day Crowley, Louisiana, was inundated_ by floods have been christened High Water I Broussard and Submarine Johnson. Men digging in a Itamsgate garden to install an Anderson shelter came across an unexploded bomb. Brought to the surface, it proved to be one of 1251b dropped during' World War 1. Chased by fifteen men who averred |.he had stolen a crate of oranges, Baltimore negro Eustace Harris, 29, dashed headlong up a street and into a doorway which stood conveniently open. It was a bad move; he had rushed into the entrance of the police station. By a new contract just approved by the American Courts, cinema star Mickey Rooney, 19, gets £250 a week for 40 weeks every year, and £6200 in bonuses after each picture, with a guarantee of two pictures a year; he will receive £25 a week pocket money, plus £250 a week for living expenses." * * * THE RABBIT CONTEMPLATES. High in the crisp blue morning sky An armoured warplane droned,. While far below an ageing Tabbit Looked up and sadly groaned. He sighed, watching with distant eye, And then he sighed again. - "To think that I should live," he said, "To see a fighter plane. "O, things are changing, there's no doubt — Why even now in the warren The youngsters will be asking each. other Whether 'twas British or foreign. "I'm getting old, my fur is grey And tho' now not so clever I must learn to know our planes— For better late than never. "O, things are changing to be sure ..." And then across his brow a furrow Formed, as with gravely wagging head He turned and tottered down his burrow. JJLH. We are indebted to M.H.-M. for these cheerful verses from the London "Observer." * * * BORAX 3. Borax 3 is a magazine the work and pride of the 2nd Echelon: " ... a rough record of the life together for an unpredictable length of sea travel of 20 women, 1600-odd men, and —a dog." The mag., which is lent us by G. W. Richards, is a bright show. Conning through it the other day we came upon a note headed "Regs": "Any man found smoking in his cabin will be severely dealt with." Here is the yarn: Time, 06.00: Private Joe Rocks, late of Taihape and the floors of Trentham, extended his limbs languidly and voluptuously on his cabin bunk. He heaved a sight of complete satisfaction, and on his palate lingered the delicate acidity of last night's last smoke. As "was his wont when he awoke on the farm, Joe quickly rolled a smoke, and the aroma of the first cigarette tingled deliciously in his throat. "Wacko!" he cried out, "this is the life!" Suddenly the cabin door opened and —10, 'twas the officer of the day! Joe duly appeared before his O.C. and took the thump like a man. He has given up smoking now, and confided to me that he would refuse a cigar on the ( houseboat of the Styx for fear that Charon would put him "on report."

The author was ' our old cobber, Bindy. one of our most lively 'Scripters, and a real man. Bindy was badly smacked in the World War, but sneaked away to the present Donnybrook to have, as he told us, "a plec« of Hitler." Good shootin', Bindy. And we'll reply to your letters right away.