POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXVI, Issue 77, 28 September 1938, Page 12

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

5- Message to Col. 8 from Wa*d 4, r Wellington Hospital: "Those cows at v Te Awamutu kept us awake all n%ht." > * * *• Maybe the Fuhrer will be forceT) to fight ... his way out of his twa '" muddle. ti ♦ • » Despite all their barking, the mad* ■* dogs of war may yet be brought to c heel, c •* * » y Apropos Mr. Lee's "Socialism in New c Zealand," "Bolivar" comments: "Better s a potential Prime Minister than none at all." t•. • • Even if there is no explosion this k week, the precautions taken by Paris and London will be excellent practice *• for the next war. k * «■ » Apparently Mr. Fraser will not be a satisfied until the Nationalist leader J, signs an affidavit before a Labour JJ?. d that he will not cut wages. c ♦ ♦ • c NAME COINCIDENCES. Some twenty-five years ago the roll :. of electors of a certain Taranaki elece torate contained fifteen Fevers. These t were evidently of a malignant nature, c for there were also fifteen Deaths. t. The inconvenience resulting from the y fact that there were only seven Coffins a can be readily imagined. c Old residents of Christchurch will s perhaps recall a Gloucester Street c signboard, which was thus worded — 0 A. WHITE, c Chimney Sweep. a NEMO, h*' ♦ ♦ 1 "DON'T LIKES." - Dear Flage,—What about a few f rhymes in your column of "I don't V likes." Herewith lam enclosing my first attempt:— I don't like short-wave stations, v I don't like windy beaches, c I've long since lost my patience With politicians' speeches. L" I can't stand coppers boiling f (The soap gets in my nose), "» And I hate to see flowers spoiling, . When the stormy south wind blows. l", I simply loathe to clean a grate, I'd hate to give a toast, ■" But I do like humorous Column eight* 1 In the good old "Evening Post." f A.W. '1 Newtown. z * » ♦ i LISTENING IN. It's strange the things you hear in • the street Overheard the following ** last week, one old fellow remark to 3 another: "Oh, well, it won't matter if » the Nationalists get in; they'll open 5 kitchens, and you'll still get 'soup'--1 erannuation." It was just at tea-time, B and about a hundred yards further on. 3 I noticed two men looking about them. Then one of them said in a very broad accent: "Say, mate, I know a restaurant where you can get a good grill. 9* His mate looked at him indignantly, and barked: "I don't want a girl—it's a feed.l want!" I just sent this along to see if it i- was any use to the old column. Heard ' them, on the Quay.—Yours sincerely, SCOTTY MORRIS. !> » * ♦ ' NAZILAND BEATITUDES. ;. The Nazis have been rewriting the 2 New Testament to bring it in line c with the Nazi philosophy (remarks s O.M.W:-H.). A revised version of - Christ's Sermon on the Mount is said 1 to have been done by former Reich b Bishop Ludwig Muller. 2 . The beatitudes must have given jr him a tough time. For example, dej. letion would probably have been the s simplest treatment for such passages - s as these: { "Blessed are the meek— "Blessed are the merciful— "Blessed are the peacemakers— "Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely—" These seem oddly at variance with the tenets and performances of Hitlerism. But how on earth can they be twisted to fit the exigencies of the new German politics? Evidently the best thing would be just to leave them out altogether. • • • t NATURE VERSUS ART. i It's springtime in the drapery store, - And when inside the swinging door, - You'd almost think that spring had flown, - And summer had come into its own. i Outside the rain is pelting down, 3 And sloppy are the streets in town; 1 But here the radiators glow, 1 And summer breezes seem to blow. - The lights that glimmer one by one Eclipse the glory of the sun, » And here are flowers every hue, » Made by mortal hands, it's true, ■ And yet . . . there's something wrong with these — • Or maybe I am hard to please. • I never love these flowers as those : That grow in God's own garden— L Floral violes and gay chiffon, ! Lovely things to look upon, 1 Hats bedecked with ribbon bow* Just as one would picture those Worn by Dolly Varden. Here the elements are kind, __ But we must leave it all behind, For time, alas, is on the wing. " "Good-bye Summer, Good-bye Spring." And so we turn towards the door And face the wintry blast once more. NANCY. ♦ ♦ ♦ L TWAINIANA. Dear Flage,—ln Mark Twain's Bio- ' graphy, the Epitaph lines: Warm summer sun shines kindly here, etc., 'are stated to have been placed on the headstone of his daughter Susy's grave —not, as stated in Col. 8, of the 20th instant, of "Olivia." Olivia Langdon, "Livy," was Mark fFwain's wife. Upon learning that he was being quoted as the author of the lines, he caused the real author's name, Robert Richardson, an Australian poet, who died in England in 1901, to be inscribed beneath them. Writing of his wife's return from England, during his lecture tour, but too late to see Susy alive again, he states: "And again Susy was there, not waving her welcome in the glare of the lights as she had waved her farewell to us thirteen months before, but lying white and fair in her coffin in the house where she was born." Another extract ™cads: "When the closing chapters of «oan of \rc were being read to the family «aiele, and tragedy w?s closing i« on th«» trail | martyr, and the farce of her trial was j wringing their hearts, Susy would ( say, 'Wait, wait, till I get a handkerchief." " Many of Twain's aphorisms are better known than the Epitaph. "Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits." Or, "Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example." And the one he sometimes put into practice, to the unrestrained delight of his children leaning over the banisters above, while he reproved George, the darkie butler: "When angry count four, and when very angry—swear."