POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXV, Issue 37, 14 February 1938, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE \

Add similes: As insinuating as,a political rumour. • ♦ * ' Unnatural science: A flea begins and ends with a scratch. • * ■■■ # An osteopath says that golf is the most dangerous game in the world. He must be a woman-hater. «• * . * Rumania had a Goga Government for a few minutes; now she has wh'a,t the American slangsters would call^ 8 "gaga" administration. • * * The difference between Deeima Norman and the traditional fast women is that the former makes: the dust fly, not the money. • » • On thfr wall facing couples who come to him to be" married, County Judge Harvey v B. Hewitt, of Clearwatet (Florida), has hung a large-photographt of the Dionne quintuplets. - • • • INTIMATION. In reply to "Moloch."—China has no fewer than 435,767,266 people, according to statistics released recently by that country's Ministry of the Interior. With Manchuria, the total grows to nearly 467,000,000. Shanghai has 3,485,998—0r did have before the recent Sine-Japanese hostilities. » ■■■.■■*' * TRANSLATION WANTED. Dear Sir, —I should ,be greatly obliged if someone among your numerous readers could supply a literal and a liberal translation •of the Maori inscription on the Cook Monument at Ship Cove. It is as follows:—

Haere mai ra. ' Etc, manuhM tuarangi Na taku potiki koe i tißi Xi te taha o te rangi Kukume max ai Haere mai. Haere mai. Please accept my thanks in.antici pation, and I take this ( opportunity oj thanking you for the many pleasurable hours your Column 8 has given me. Yours faithfully, ' CAPTAIN COOKEB Woodville. • > ♦ ' - ■ ■■■ • '■'. ;■ ', • NOW, GIRLS— Are your knees nobbly? If sq would, you like to have lovely, legji such as Jeanette Mac Donald can boasj? Well, then, here's how to go about it: You will have to go through <£. coursa of Russian folk1 dances, which are splendid "for slimming : the knees a$v well as hardening the Waist line. NowJ . Squat dqwn on1 your heels, arms fold* ed over your, chest, spine absolutely straight, head erect. Throw the righ^ leg out straight before you,'heel on the floor.\ Hop up and throw out the lef( leg at the same time you draw in the! right foot to the squatting positions Repeat the movement, changing tHet feet as rapidly, as you can. Vary this1 movement by throwing the legs out id one side and then the other, finally tq the back. Do this to music, when you have'practised it a while. If you can't master the Russian dance at first subj. stitute this one: Stand with. fe^j turned slightly outward} one foot ads vanced a little in front of the otheni Rise on the balls of the feet, slowW bend the knees until you have gons down 'as far as you can; rise anjj lower the heels. Do this as slowly aria regularly as possible, half a dozfen times. ' ' , ■ P.S. —This is not our invention: yft prigged it' from a Hollywood expert i 4 physical training. • • • BIG IN THE NEWS. ■ Louis Fouche, record-breaker in thd shot put, is 24, is doing his final year in medicine, and has unique training ideas. He says he develops his-ability by playing Rugby and boxing. He is .heavyweight boxing champion'of thd South African universities, playlet football against the Wallabies, an Aus tralian representative team, and car run 100 yards in llsec. He finds tSai a lot of bag-punching gives him thJ drive to heave the shot a long waa He is the owner of 18 alluvial diamond claims in South Africa, which' hava yielded him "quite a decent fortune.''

Duplessis, the Springbok polej vaulter, another record-breaker, .is re« garded by the experts as one' of th^ most- splendidly-moulded V athletes ai the Games. When the Games ajpej finished he' is going to '-put his ptftei away and won't worry if his) weignt increases by 301b.

Sutherland (Canada), hammgr,thrower de luxe, astonished observers at training by pulling' out a cigjab: from his sweat suit, and rolling J^ cigar between his teeth like a WaS? Street magnate. He- islla fanner. •# * , » BRIDGE. (A Jeremiad.) I sat at the Bridge past midnight, When the clocks' had all goirie an strike, And the cash oozed out of my pocket At a rate I could not like. And I noted with sad reflection One-and-sixpence remained to me, So I .emptied a goblet appalling, And became for a time carefree. And for ever and for ever (Or as long as the card craze; grows). As long as they follow the fashions' (How>long that is,, goodness knovre), This Bridge with its certain depression And its losses shall appear As the symbol df hastening ruin, ; And unwavering ill luck here. . M. TAPLEY. * #.i : .. ♦ ' ' FACT FLABBERGASTED. K.B. (Lower Hutt): The "School's In" article missed, last Saturday week because of an oversight on our partt However, there is no reason why, such a feature as you suggest should nqi£ ■ be presented weekly, though we warij you it is easier to start than to main* tain. As the titles you propose are in use elsewhere, why not Fact Flabbe?^ gasted? It seems to fit the*bill. Ana now for the first instalment: — " (1) A Taranaki farmer owns a. cow which recently jumped. over a verj high fence, and strained its milk. (2) A man fishing from a wharf at Townsville, Queensland, dropped _, a watch in the' water. Five years latej^ while fishing from the same wharf, hfe caught a large jewflsh, andi-on opening it was surprised to find that the , watch was not inside. (3) Peter Fitzcanterpipe,' an American student of historical facts, after years of study has discovered that, • although Noah's Ark was made of wood,, Joan of Arc was Maid of Orleans. (4) Ten years ago the Lama cf Tibet swallowed his false teeth,- and . he has been standing ever, since, as he ' is frightened of bending for fear Of ; biting himself. (5) Lions in Africa ■ before attack-• ing a pigmy always practise low springs in a clearing which has been prepared for that purpose. (6) An Auckland resident who had; < not slept for five years was advised by. a doctor to lie right on th"c edge o£ the bed, and in this way he. was abla1 to drop off quite easily... ■ Any other Postscripters like^o^ join, iin?. " . . -Jl