POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXV, Issue 18, 22 January 1938, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLACS

There is nothing like a dry betitf whet a man's anticipations.

"Jock": To leave your umbrella in the porch of a church is a sure test oj Christian faith. *' ■■'" #■■•■■♦

Then- there wns the woman (or th« man) who had as much feeling as a discarded old boot. #.■■....# .. ♦

Some of the war correspondents ought to begin their most sensational cablegrams with: "It can be said with fear of contradiction. . . ."

News note: "King Farouk/personally chose most of the bride's trous. seau." The bride could fitly retaliate by choosing the King's cigars for him.

"Aldebaran" advises that the new toothpicks come in- packets' like bookmatches, and are scented. Anybody interested?

PALINDROMES,

"Pay on Time. Emit no yap." "Raw and snug was I. ere I saw gun* and war." "Repel evil as a live leper." "Egad, a base tone denotes a bad age." ' • • , "Dog as a devil deified lived as « god."

"Did I tar a rat at Ararat? I did." DICK SHUNARY.

"FLAT TROUBLES." . (Forwarded by G. C. H.) They hadn't a dog, Or a parrot or cat; They had not the space, For they lived in a flat. They entered the house in single file. They moved about edgewise all tha

while, And. they went outside • when • they.

wanted to smile, Because they lived in a flat.

HORSE PHRASES.

From "A Regular Header" comes a. list of horse phrases, and a suggestion that Postscripters. be asked to add to them. Here's his contribution:—-. - Riding the -high horse. Riding for a fall. - . Preliminary canter. Shanks's pony. The whip hand. - A one-horse show. Come a cropper. •■ The idea has possibilities. Several that we remember ofl-hand are:— Take a bit between one's teeth. Horse sense. Jockeyed out of.

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SCHOOL'S IN.

Do you know that

1. A pike caught in a lake near Heil« brunn in 1497 showed by a brass ring attached to it that it had been placed in the lake in 1230? 2. Skimmed milk is such a good preservative of stone that the inside 6f Westminster Abbey has received a bath iof this liquid? 3. Chatterton was the English poet who had the shortest life^-less than 18 years? 4. Though the moon is never less than 222,000 miles away, science has brought it within 40 miles of the earth by'the aid of powerful tel'ei. scopes? 5. In the Congo region there is a carnivorous locust which eats mice and preys also upon large spiders, beetles, and other insects?

6. Wallpaper did not become fashion- , able in England until George 1 em-' ployed an architect named Kent to decorate Kensington Palace? 7. The highest motor road in Europ* (just completed) is in the French Alps,. where it crosses the Iseran Pass at an.'' altitude of 9084 feet?

8. Pliny, who. wrote 37 books on natural history (not limited in scope , as natural history is now), consulted 2000 volumes written by 100 Greek and Roman-authors? * 9. An oil lamp has been burning , uninterruptedly for the past twelve : centuries in an old palace in Travancore?

10. Famous film stars have strange names in the East, where Chinese "fans" call John Barrymore "Ya Han," Harold Lloyd "Luke," and ' Mickey Mouse "Mee Kan"?

• * • A DEDICATION^ (Asked for by 8.M., Miramar.)

My new-cut ashlar takes the light "j Where crimson-blank the window*!

flare, By my own work before the night, ■ i Great Overseer, I make my prayea. j If there be good in what I wrought, jj Thy hand compelled it, MasteijJß Thine— . 1 When I- have failed to meet Thjf. thought „ , I know, through Thee, the blame. m mine. _i ■■ One instant's toil to Thee denied i l?£j Stands all Eternity's offence; "|! Of that I did with Thee to guide. H To Thee, through Thee, be excellence*} Who, lest all thought of Eden fade, .j Bring'st Eden to the craftsman*! brain — ' God-like to muse o'er his own Trade , And man-like stand with God againf^ The depth and dream of my desire, ", i The bitter paths wherein I stray, ; Thou knowest Who hast made the Fire^j Thou knowest Who hast made th'tr* clay.

One stone the more swings into place In that dread Temple of Thy worth. It is enough that, through /Thy Grace, ' I saw nought common on Thy Earth.

Take not that vision from my ken. Oh, whatsoe'er may spoil or speed-* Help me to need no aid of men, That I may help such men as need, RUDYARD KIPLING. ■ # '■■; •■■>,-•

TRAGEDY!

It happened on the East Coast, some- j where between Opotiki and the Eastw Cape, during the' holidays. A news-1} paperman friend of ours was touring ; that district in company with a can- • vivial soul. The'weather was exceed- j ingly summery, and there was a thirst . in the land. Our heroes ■ were as , greatly thrilled by the scenery as . parched throats would allow. ' One ,of j the scenes that most impressed them was a scow at anchor in an inlet env.i bowered with pohutukawas into which^ a glorious surf rolled. But .the tourists ~ mind was.on a matter-of more-corn^ pelling import: a pub, to wit. The.riJ visioned cool beer foaming in glasses adequately capacious; because it , was •] indubitably beer weather, and their j aesthetic soul capered within- them. At , last the oasis was reached. With elan and all that sort of thing they entered the pub and ordered flagons. -If you have tears prepare to shed them now .. . there was no beer left. A hush fell over the assembly. The beauty of the bush lost its glamour. The song of birds became merely irritating. No beer! Yet there was beer, Timi Boniface told them with that philosophic calm his race is noted for, but it was not accessible. There was a load of it in the scow rocking at her moorings, ■ and it would stay there until thg bgaffi