POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXIV, Issue 89, 12 October 1937, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

Prayers after a dance would be more fitting for our modern whoopee-makers. * • *

The Liverpool anti-Fascists can shoot straight, but their tactics savour of skull-duggery. '« * •

"Mojo."—Summer arrived on Sunday—and so also did the white butterfly- ;

That slim grey-haired unknown who claims that he is heir to the thrones of Austria Hungary has all the looks of a : ider.

Keep your chin up. The more adversely startling the war cablegrams today, the more certain you can be that they will be denied tomorrow. • « •; IRON RATIONS—A PROPHECY? Japan, it is reported, is the only real buyer of scrap-iron from this country. —New Zealand news item. In other words, cast thy bread upo* the waters and as whizz-bangs it shaM return unto you. BAKNEY O'BANG. •». . * , « HEARD THIS ONE? (Received from M.J.) McTavish, every time he met O'Reilly, tried to take a rise out of the Irishman. "Ye ken, the firrst o' the O'Reillys had a brain lak a wee lousie!" McTavish said one day.

O'Reilly snorted, and walked away. Next day McTavish met him again, with a new barb:— •

"Ye ken, O'Reilly; the firrst o' -tha O'Reillys was nae Irishman at all. Ha was a Scotsman!"

"Shure, ye told me that yesterday!" said O'Reilly. -* * ■ . » LONG AND SHORT OF IT. Death has taken the world's smallest man and the smallest white woman. Harry Dyott, known as "Tiny Tim,'* aged 50. died in England.from a bronchial complaint. His height, was 23in, and his weight 241b. He could be lifted on the palm of the hand, and could sit comfortably inside a topnat. Dyott appeared before Royalty on several occasions.

Rita Frendo, 26, whose height, was 32in, and who claimed to be the smallest white woman in the world, died at Malta.

. As a "follow up" we shall give yoa some details of the world's Giant No, 1, a young man of nineteen who standi Bft 6in and is still growing! « «• » THIS ENGLAND. Report in "Manchester Guardian":— A quarrel over a game of ludo led to Mrs. Maria Eastwood, of Penmaen Crescent, Conway, being fined £2 yesterday. ... . It was alleged that Mrs. Eastwbod was playing ludo with a Mrs. Griffith at the Williamses' home when Mrs. Williams accused Mrs. Eastwood of cheating. The defendant, it was alleged, became violent and picked up a teacup and flung it at Mrs. Williams. .The cup hit Mr. Williams in the face, cutting his nose and lip. She then hit the husband with a duck egg,, which she had given Mrs. 'earlier in the day. "Mrs.'Eastwood said she was provoked into doing what she did. and alleged that Percy Williams hit her with a teacup and that she had to crawl under a.mangl# for safety. • • » INQUIRY DEPARTMENT. "Inquisitive" (Motueka).—We shall look into that matter for you.

"Spain" (Petone).—The Spanish Inquisition is a long, long story, \ but you may expect some details, in a few I days. '

"Gomez" wishes to know: (1) Who was it said, "Now only' God knows," | and wiiy did he say it? (2) What is the speed of sound? Light? Wireless waves?

C. Lowther.—-According to one authority, Japan possesses the scantiest of resources. Her iron production is half that of Belgium, her coal production one-seventh, that of Britain, and her supplies of oil have to be imported. Hef main.ejcport ,is raw silk, sold almost entirely to her principal rival, the U.S.A. If that market failed her, Japan's economic fabric would collapse. # * • LIMERICK. A gardener who worked might and main, , , Killed his wife (she was frightfully plain), He said, "I am kind; There is much I don't mind, But she treated nyr beet with disdain." A.B.C. Island Bay. A gardener who worked might and main, Observed: "When it rains—let it rain; Small worries like that Don't get under my hat— Hitch your pants up, and bog in again." A gardener who worked right; and rain, Said: "In my labour there's gain; I dig and I hoe . Then I reap what I sow— And that's just life over again." GRAN POP. A gardener who worked might and main, Found that most of his labour was vain, For Jhe teeth in his rake Were a Japanese fake, So he won't filch our Flage's again. K.E.P.

A gardener who worked might and

. main, Of marauding tom-cats did complaiaj His seedlings were {scattered, .His high hopes were shattered, Until he was driven insane. ORVTLLE R. DUPPE. » * •

NEWS ODDITIES. Axel Carlson, of Greenwood, Illinois, tells how after one of his team of horses died oh the road, the .other looked around, saw the corpse of his pal being hoisted on the wagon, and fell dead in his tracks.

Because friends wanted him to officiate at their wedding. Joe Pomatto, new Justice of the Peace at Everton. Missouri, had the county Judge write out the marriage ceremony for him. Then absent-mindedly he read it aloud, even to the last line: "Kiss the bride and collect two dollars."

When Charles Seel, of Atlantic City, newly robbed of his wardrobe, thought he recognised a pair of pants walking down the board walk, he called- the police. In the pants pockets were pawn tickets for his other suits, all made out in his name.

Boston University's band is still regarded as incomplete because it can't I locate a euphonium 'player, For two years the organisation has sought one in vain. "We can't even find students who can spell it, let alone play iti* grumbled Bandmaster MacMillan,.