"PALE FACE"

Evening Post, Volume CXXIII, Issue 130, 3 June 1937, Page 18

"PALE FACE"

CHILD AND HIS HEALTH

REACTIONS TO CRITICISM

Although a robust adult often refers with gusto and an air of triumph to the remarks that used to be passed when he was a child about the apparent delicacy of his constitution, the fact that he has remembered those remarks does not denote that they gave him any pleasure at the time. My own observation of the reactions of small children to. sympathetic comments on their thinness or their pallor suggests that a child does not as a rule receive kindly any statement that he can regard as a criticism of nis looks, writes "M.R.H." in the "Manchester Guardian."

In their genuine concern for the health of children adults who regularly come into contact with them or have charge of them often forget that this concern is not shared by the children themselves, who have no interest in or feeling of responsibility for any other state than that of the passing moment. Unless a child is feeling ill enough or weary enough to invite sympathy, "a little nurse," or remedial treatment, he is apt to resent- well-meant commiserations since they seem to compare him unfavourably with other children. He particularly dislikes refer-. ,ences to his shortcomings in the matter of weight and colouring if they are' made in the presence of other children. A child who had always been rather pale and slight, though he invariably ate vjell, slept well, and seemed indefatigable, was,:after the receipt of a communication from his teacher by his mother (who'yras grateful for this evidence of watchfulness and relieved'to feel that her own burden of responsibility was shared), givenan extra examination by the doctor,' who.' pronounced him perfectly fit, and said that he was pale and slight after his. kind and unlikely to change his type of appearance. This comforting assurance, which confirmed the mother's opinion, was passed on to school. A MISTAKEN SUGGESTION. I think any friendly outsider who suspects a child of being in a low state of health is kind and sensible to mention the matter immediately ,to the child's parents, but not to him. When a complete stranger passes remarks on the physique of a child, although the motive for the interference is praiseworthy, their expression of opinion can seem a trespass and may do more harm than good to the child. A mother I know had taken heir child, who was one of the pale sort, to the seaside. On their first day they were in a cafe when a stranger came up to them, introduced herself as a nurse, and said: "I think your little girl is sickening for measles." The child was immediately taken home; she did not have measles, and she missed a holiday that might have put more colour into her cheeks. ','■'.' One assumes, of course, that his mother will be the first to notice signs of ill-health in a child, but. will none the less welcome sincere opinions from others aware of the child's constitutional history. If she can then quote a reassuring medical .opinion there is nothing more to be said; it can be taken for granted that if a tonic or an extra ration of vitamins is advisable the parents will provide it. The friendliest lamentations- can serve no beneficial service. "' ■On the other hand, it may ,be conceded that it is never too early to teach a -child that''he • is. in' part responsible for his own good health;'he understands this easily when he is-'ill—he knows he must take, medicine, gargle, inhale, keep warm, in order to get, back to his normal standard of health. Wherr he is well but not robust-looking, he responds more readily to advice to eat spinach in order to have red cheeks like Philip of Margery than to sorrowful ejaculation about his pallor. THE KOSY AND THE WAN. It is, on-the whole, always safer to refrain from commenting, unless invited to do so, on the visible" aspects of anyone's health.; Rosy adults complain that they never get any sympathy because they never change colour; to be greeted with "How well you look!" when they feel ill annoys them; That is an attitude that adults of a normally wan cast find it'hard to comprehend.: Surely, the latter feel, it is worse to be feeling flt^and full of energy ,and to be, told casually .'how ill-or how tired they .lookl'^Many/,ai^bmaii has"-taken" to using rouge or lipstick because'of misguided comments on her alleged sickly countenance. '. ■;'.' If adults, who are reasonable enough to credit most commentators with kindliness and with speaking in good faith, cannot refrain from ■ regarding such sympathisers, as detractors, how much more likely are children-to .be disturbed by casual or repeated strictures on their bodily limitations?. The child who is white and "wiry" can often display an amount of 'energy that confounds those who affirm their belief that he is "overgrowing his strength." Signs of low vitality in a child are more dependably portrayed in his behaviour than in his face or build; listlessness, tearfulness,^ the absence of smiles'or laughter are-sure signs that something is wrong. 'And they_are signs the child recognises. He does not want to feel like that; but he does not care much how he .looks unless, byj constant "rubbing, in", :of. .adverse rej marks, his native hue has been sicklied o'er with an even paler' than"' usual cast of thought. ■ ' '...;' ._./'/