POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Issue 11, 13 July 1936, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

By Percy Flace.

Says "Alkali Ike": JCo man is as important as his wife tries to make him feel when they have visitors. ♦' • *

After the winter race week at Trentham it is harder for lots of people to settle up than to settle down.

It would be just Uncle Sam's luck if a raring tearing flood should happen along on the heels of the drought.

"Carl's" tall short story:—A long service convict asked the warder to be good enough to put the cell keys down his back as his nose was about to bleed.

"Em."—™he London "Star" is well known for its witty headings. When Sir Thomas Beecham. was giving evidence in a certain historic case the report was neaded: "BEECHAM IN THE BOX."

QUEUE UP, EVERYBODY. This may sound like an old one, but we read that, on the East Side in Dcs Moines, lowa* is printed with chalk on the glass top half of a door this announcement: "Mrs. Goldstein has cast off clothing of all description and invites an early inspection."

ANENT A GOURMET. j C.E.—Having read what famouj people eat and drink, I almost hope that Mrs. McClancy remains as she is. I would really like to know what her favourite dish and drink would b« should she rise to fame.

We do not know about the favourite eats and tipple of the lady, but we can say she is very keen about becoming famous 'n' all that. Maybe she will explain on Thursday—unless too tl*d up with the races.—P.F.

TABLES TURNED. When an editor is challenged through the correspondence columns of bit paper it is usually the challenger who gets the worst of the encounter, as I know to my sorrow. However, it is on record that the occupant of the editorial chair once came oft* second-best. It happened in. the early days of journalism in New Zealand. In the course of a long letter, which was published in full, a correspondent quoted the wellknown Gaelic proverb:. "Bussih s'ios. S'sa na siro fide eht." ERA.

INQUIRY DEPARTMENT. "Croix de Guerre" (Miramar).—Yes. A Bill providing for the nationalisation of the French • armament industry has been approved by the Presi,dent, M. Lebrun. Government control, aimed at restricting excess profits, will be applied" to all such industries. It is expected that twelve concerns, including the Schneider, Hotchkiss, Brandt, and Renault works will in time be wholly nationalised.

"Sceptical" (J.R.N.).—On June 2, the Italian military authorities admitted that 30 air force soldiers on their way to Addis Ababa had been massacred —they were escorting a small column of motor-trucks loaded with supplies. ;

Elsdon (Newtown).—Hamadryad is another name for the King cobra— the largest and most deadly of .known venomous snakes. No relation, of course, to the dryads (also, called hamadryads), :the 'mythological treenymph, who was supposed to live in the trees and die when the trees died.

OSCULATORY REPERTOIRE. According to "The Post" a certain Mr. Alexander McQueen claims to have, kissed recently a hundred girls —in' the interests of science! He must have had a wide repertoire. There's the gay kiss, the stray kisil, The -pass-the-time-away kiss; The wrong: kiss, the strong kiss, The don't-you-take-too-long kiss; The chain kiss, the plain kiss, t The don't-you-do-it-again kiss; The sweet kiss, the neat kiss, The feeling-inclined-to-eat kiss; The curt kiss, the hurt kiss, The "Oh-you-horrid-flirt" kiss; . The dear kiss, the queer kiss, The nobody-is-near kiss; The funny kiss, the' honey kiss,. The little, nibbling bunny kiss; The first kiss, the worst kiss, The feeling-inclined-to-burst kiss; The shy kiss, the sly kiss, The take-me-home-to-die kiss; The new kiss, the "blue" kiss, The kind-of-stick-like-glue kiss; The bought kiss, the taught kiss, The kind-of-loud-report kiss; The suave kiss, the grave kiss. The sheik-romantic-knave kiss; The light kiss; the bright kiss, The feeling-inclined-to-bite kiss; The night kiss, the tight kiss, The wonder-if-that's-right kiss; The late kiss, the mate kiss, The parting-at-the-gate kiss; A, | The hold-me-tighter-still kiss,! And the make-this-night-a-thrill kiai. HAT.

"HOWITZER'S" BROADCAST. The 1936 championship is now at a>» interesting stage. Nothing serious happened on Saturday to upset the order; Old Boys still lead by a nose, with Athletic pulling hard, and Poneke likely to make a forward move at any moment.

Johnsonville gave the Blue and Blacks a nasty fright for a while.

I joined the Scotties at Kelburn and watched Jack Lamason lead his boys to victory. The only complaint I have to make is that I had to stand, and am not used to it. The City Council, ought to build a grandstand across the centre of the ground and refuse to charge admission. Then we'd all be happy. ,

.Many and-varied distractions on Saturday, what with the games, picking up the latest winner at Trentham, and trying to dig up some secret information anent sthe big match of the year: Police versus P. and T. I must have overstepped my average for the 40-hour week. However, the Big Clash takes place on Wednesday, July 22, when the boys in blue tackle their brothers in very dark blue with a touch of red.

The Posties have first advantage in that the scrum machine which went away with the All Blacks was parcelled and sent back to New Zealand clumsily addressed,- and, it is • understood, found its way into the Dead Letter Office.

As usual, the Police had nothing to say when interviewed.

Wonder (1) if the new Commissioner will personally supervise tactics on the Day of Days? (2) Will Detective McLennan introduce the latest Scotland Yard ideas into line-outs? ' (3) What chance has Sergeant McHolm of getting the half-back job? (4) How many selectors have the "bobbies"? (5) Will Detective Tricklebank make the fifteen after the many talks he has had with Tricklebank junior . about Jap. footer? (6) Is it correct that "Lofty" Blomfield qualifies for a place because he is an ex-policeman? (7) How much the tickets will be? (8) What charities will benefit? and (9) Whether the referee has.yet been selected? Keep July 22 in mind! ....';