INJURIOUS TEASING

Evening Post, Volume CXXI, Issue 20, 24 January 1936, Page 15

INJURIOUS TEASING

ADULT FORMS OF T.ONY

"When grown-ups are amusing themselves with children their play may unexpectedly change from harmless jokes which the smallest toddler can appreciate to a form of teasing which may be really injurious," remarks an overseas writer. "Most grown-ups would defend teasing, in moderation, as a means of teaching children to take a joke against themselves in good part. This may be true in the case of older children who are beginning to understand adult forms of irony, but there is nothing to be said for teasing the younger ones who are only able to appreciate the simplest of rough-and-tumble jokes. Teasing, when it is really effective, aims at the victim's most vulnerable spot, and this in young children is their dependence on an adult's protection and love. Older children and grown-ups immediately sense this weakness and instinctively aim at it in their teasing. Little harm is usually done by older children's teasing as long as parent or nurse is at hand to reassure the younger ones. But when the grown-ups themselves participate a young child's sense of security may be shaken and his peace of mind seriously disturbed. "The other day I was watching a nurse playing with her small charge. They were having an uproarious time together on the nursery mat, and their affection for each other was obvious to an onlooker. The nurse had been playing at tigers and her mimicry had beer# applauded with shrieks of delight by the toddler. Suddenly the child ceased to be amused and, turning her back on her nurse's best efforts, she became interested in solitary play. The nurse, in an attempt to regain her attention, snatched up a Teddy bear and began to cuddle it, crooning, 'I love Teddy best!' This nurse, I am sure, would have carefully avoided making the child jealous ii any 'real' situation. Yet in play her teasing unconsciously took the form of arousing that monster.

"In other forms of teasing there is the 'pretence that the beloved adult has not only lost interest in the child, but is about to desert him. The 'joke' that mother or nurse will 'go away and leave you' is even more harmful than the assurance that she 'loves Teddy best.' A young child is only just beginning to get used to the comings and goings of those dear ones on whom, he depends. There are so many partings during the day; first when he is settled in his perambulator for his morning nap; later while his food is being prepared or other household jobs attended to; finally every evening there is 'good-night,' when the door closes and the footsteps fade away down the stairs. And in moments of stress or uncertainty a young child will usually cling desperately to his natural protector. • Yet the sight of a young child being passionately attached to parent or nurse is enough to Licite some grown-ups to this worst form of teasing."