POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXVIII, Issue 35, 10 August 1934, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

BY PERCY FLAGE

Chronicle and Comment

Frenzied finance is .so-called becauso it sends the shareholders crazy. * » » For his own sake we hope Mr. Gandhi will go slow with that fast of his. ; * • *, Add similes: As nervous as the dear old dame who always left her bed during "a thunderstorm because she was afraid of sheet lightning. c- » » ARCHIBALD, CERTAINLY NOT! Scone: Relief works mess table—s.3o p.m. Ist Waiter: Anybody want more puddin '.' Silence. Any more tea? Any more sugar ? Still silence. ' ■ • 2nd "Waiter: Iss awlri', Arch, nobody; don't wa\nt no more nuthin'. S.J. * * • ONLY TOO TRUE. ' Flage,—Anent Biblo-in-Schools and similar irrelevancies: • Lies of great men all remind.us We can tell a lie sublime, ■•'"_■ And departing, leave .behind us '..■■"..■■■. Controversy for all time. .■■•;■■■■ , ' "M.s.tf. a a *t . EUPHEMISM. News note from Hamburg to tht Now York "Times." ... ■Medical experts ,have been watching Chancellor Adolf Hitler of Gei--many. . ......and. it is believer! . they, have detected symptoms of in« e'ipicnt .insanity.. ... Incipient? ' . . ! tt ' ■ > ' -if ■ : ■ . ■ DOG NOW WORTH £100. You must have heard of the Burmese* fowl which peeked up a rich ruby, tho gander at the Thames with a nico little gold nugget in its crop, and that Australian ewe with gold fillings in its teeth. Add to the list this story of »' two-year-old cocker spaniel which increased in value overnight, to the tuno of £100. The wife of a Harley Street specialist recently discovered that hec diamond ring—worth £100—had disappeared. A frantic search discovered, nothing—except that her favourite hound regarded its owner wistfully. The lady> becamo suspicious. She told, her husband, who promptly had tho spaniel put under tho X-ray. Tho lady's suspicions were confirmed, and each day a now X-ray was made, but at latest advices tho ring still stayed put. The pup was not unhappy about it, probably because it knows that its mistress knows that nothing is lost if] you know where it is. » ■■'■#■ •» POSTED . . . MISSING. "Gcntl'o Annie."—That was not per« pctrated in this column. "A.JB."—Cultivate a little inoro char* ity, brother. V.W.—"Travellers on the Trams" is not up to your best. It is over-long, and soems to have been •written in a, hurry. Try again. "Ginger Cat."—Pointless and crude. "Silvershoo" —Linos to Spring discloso some enthusiasm but small capa* city for verse-making. "Albie." —Why not consult tho En« cyclopaedia Britannica in the Public Library for yourself? "Percy Cute."—One of these days wa( shall launch another competition. "Dcforiner." —Two spectacular lines from your alleged sonnet: — What's balling up our politics today Is that Reform has got far too much, • say. ." "Small - Boer."—Tt lacks froth, too, which makes it suspect in our eyes. "Peterette."—(l) We think not. (2) Just one of those silly.chain let ters. (3) Unable to advise. '•::• # * ■ AN OLD, LAW REVIVED. Nowadays, a man proved guilty oi manslaughter goes to gaol. Under the old English1 law of manbotc ho paid pecuniary damages to an overlord for tho liege he had killed. Recently a New York State Judge remembered thafl ancient law when a man pleaded guilty to a charge of second-degree manslaughter. The defendant had an exemplary record us a citizen. A few nights before Christmas he wont out celebrating with a close friend. T?ha men quarrelled and fought, the friend was hi;, struck his head against tho kerb, and died. Saying he was about to do something "a little bit but of tho. ordinary, '*. tho Judge sentenced the defendant to eschew all alcoholic beverages, including beer, for five years, pay tho funeral expenses of his victim, and to make weekly payments ,of la dollars to tho latter's widow over a period of five years for her support and the maintenance of her three child* ren. If ho defaults, an altcrnativo sentenco of from five to ten years in prison will bo imposed. Would a wider ap« plication of tho old law of manbotc m cases of involuntary manslaughter soi-vg society better than prison? * ■» * VITA BRT3VIS, ARS LONGA. The poet solemnly composed, for better or for worse, In this delightful (and a tnfiq heavy) style of vorf-c. ■ A friend explained to him that lie Would be paid by the lino, And said that ho would find it wise To change to this design. Such logic, In hi? .situation, Was suiely .- Not amis?: His poem. I AVent For publication AVrittcn out Like This. W.B. This natty jingle i'rom tho "Christian Science Monitor" was forwarded bjj "Elbk'," l'etone. I ■ "ILLEGIBLE IItTSBIN." Horn ]'•> ti quaiiit Wtor for which Le* T. requests rcpiihlicarion. It was ■writ-' ton'to an KnglMi paymaster during th<S Great War: — Respected Sir—Dear Sir, —Though T tako this liberty as it loaves mo a* present 1 beg to ask if you 'will lot me know where 'my husbiu is—though ho is not my legible husbin as he as a wifo —though ho hos she in "dead. But I don't think he no» for certain sure but wo,tiro not maviicd though.l am getting my allotment legler which is not felt of Mr. Lloyd George who would stop it it he could and Air. McKeuna. but ;f you no where ho is as, he is belong *o tho Naval Fling Corpse for ever since ho joined in January when he .was sacked for talking back at his boss which was a woman at tho Laundry where- h» worked. ' ' I have not had any money from him since he joined. though ho told Mrs. what lives on the ground floor that he was a Pretty.Orcifer.'for. 6s a week and lots of warm underclothing for tho winter and cold weather and I havethree children what he is being ..tho father of them though he ses it >yas my fault. •-, . .. ■ ■_ Hoping you arc .quito well is ■if leaves mi; at. present'l. must mivr elosf^ hoping- you are quite well as'it.lwrwfij me at present. ... ■ '