POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXV, Issue 108, 10 May 1933, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

BY. PERCY FLACE

Chronicle and Comment

' When the Wanganella ran into thai Tasman gale last Monday and Tra« forced to heave-to, some of the pas* sengers heaved, too, "in: sympathy. * # • 'We gathered from "atf emotional broadcaster that thematmen put a lot of kick and .punch into their exhibition last evening. » ♦ » BELIEVE IT OB NOT. Last month a resident of Wooster, Ohio, notified the police that burglar* had rifled the family safe and got away] with gold plate and cash to the value oi: 1750 dollars. He was " immediately, arrested for hoarding. * •■ . . ■'•■ ' RESERVATION. It' the acting-chairman of the Dairy, Control Board has been correctly imported, the primary producers will re* sent any further Stato t interference in the industry. Unless and until, of course, the farmers feel moved to importune the Government for another helping from the Treasury. * « • SPIRITS ABROAD. Dear Flage,— Have you heard of the new eultl Mooting places round about Taianakl Street, any old time. The organisation is a somewhat shaky one, but they, trust "it" will get itronger. Among th« elect they iare known as the Methyv , lated Spiritualists. BINDY. * • • "TURNING THE CORNER." , Dear Flage,—Can anyone tell ' me whether this depression causes repression of expression or whether the suppression of the, depression (politically, of course) has become an obsessiont Can you? vK Our idea is that we have turned io many corners that th© whole world has "gone a trifle dizzy.—P~F. «• * « FORTUNE'S FAVOURITE. "Anything is possible, in this. demO cratic country," writes "Amos-'n'« Andy." "Take the case of Bob. Masters. He was not called on to fight his way election-wise into our Legisla* ture, was handed two important portfolios, and by virtue of those responsibilities (perhaps) will presently be o*' his way to th« World Economic Conference—one of the diplomatic plums. It's better to be born lucky than rich." ■#■■'♦■ ♦ FOR YOUR LIBRARY. Dear Flage, —Just a. few more books to add to the library that I hava noticed in your column from time ta time:— i • "The Starved Horse, by M. T. G. Gee. "Fishing Tales," by Ida Bight. "Obstinacy," by Will Knott. "Tho Great Lover," by Highani. Spooney. "Determination," by Percy Vere. "The Prevaricator," by U. B." A* Nother. "Greed," by Harriet Moore. "Forbidden Pleasures," by HagK Shant. AL BATROSS. * ♦ ♦ . • .- t 'POSTED . . . MISSING. " "Winter Sport"—We shall givaftha suggestion our consideration. '' S.P.' —Too familiar to. be worth republishing. Thanks all the same. "Postscripts. Apostate"—Sorry your sensibilities have been violated, but it was the trampers. themselves • who. asserted, and reiterated, that they were not lost. "Parallel"—Afraid yours isn't, be* cause of your tangled logic. "Denza" —Not apropos at th» moment, but will put it aside for urn as opportunity offers. "M. or N." (Nelson)— Neat, but comment on that topic is inadvisable at the moment. "The Gay Gordon" —Too partisaa and too personal. "N. Zedder" —Some promise in th» opening stanzas, after which a metrical, slump takes charge. Try again. "Maureen" (aged 14)— Where did you get that one! It has a familiar ring. "Osca Rash"—Unfortunately, th« facts arc not as stated, hence your conclusions are all at sea. * . i •■'■..■• OPEN LETTER: A VALEDICTORY. Dear Mr. Forbes,— It's really fine To know you are to make the trig To London, there to fall in line With the elite in statesman**^ Coates had his turn at Ottawa — A not too clever show, but yov Dear George, are luckier by *aH .^ Your team-mate, he is lucky, to«( 'Twill be y«ur privilege to sit - In council with, th© truly great . To face the facts, and do your bit _ , To mend mankind's unhappy st*t^ To drag tho world from the abyss On whose edge it sways to and fM|. A desperate, fateful duty, this, But you will play your part, we knoiflc When you meet Baldwin try to be ■ Proud of that surplus, sudden* strange, But were we you (a pipe dream!) we Would not refer to pegged exchange* Another thing: in case you meet The Bond Street bon tons, do you* best . " To look well-groomed from head to feetj Your pants meticulously pressed. Apart from mere sartorial style, Be sure when, cameras click to wea* Your all-rights-patented brave smile With which xpu give the slump th# dare. If Roosevelt's heart you fail to Stir, Or Conference's mixed mood* tdj sway, No honest patriot will demur— You needed a real holiday. * • • MORE LETTERS OF JUNIUS. JTlagc,— How about these for the beloved "Postscrips"? From one of your newe columns: — OVERSEAS PASSENGERS. FALLING-OFF REPORTED. . Wo trust they could swim! PENNY OFF BEER (!) THE NEW BUDGET. But I'll bet the old don't grudget. SINS OF THE PAST. NECESSARY TO ECONOMISE. "Oh yes?" say the politicians. And finally, how about this for si personal experience? I was out tramping with a young Irish acquaintance* when we met a couple of particularly harmless looking cows. "Oh, look at the bulls!" said my intrepid .Irishman, instinctively turning his back on this scene of rural contentment. "Those aren't bulls, -.they're' cows," I remarkfid.' "Oh," he replied, incredulouslyj "cows are always bulls when they; look at you like that!" Yours tiH we all go bust, ■■ "juNiua,