POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXV, Issue 13, 17 January 1933, Page 6

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment |

BY PERCY FLAGE

Larwood & Co. are serving up soipa very "heady," not to say "chesty* 5.* stuff. . "3 * ♦' • ■ f NOTE THE DIFFEBENCE. •> We have hesitated to say so prfeviously, but latest developments 6v«r " Adelaide -way compel the conclusion that the English team, as directed!, is; out to recapture the Ashes rather jMia* to play cricket.' ♦•■■•: MIGHT HELP WITH LOANS 2, When our bemused Cabinet has finished consulting the bankers arid jpolitical economists, we suggest that it call in a mechanical engineer or two in order1 to give the derelict ship of State that "floating" power which, allegedly does so much for some of the newer car models. " ; AD. AMBIGUITY. .' T Dear Flage,—Did you note thisfca4»vertisement? -^ Good Section on slight rise, cloge to beach. Contains 4 small rooms, electric light, hot point, coal range . ... Does this suggest a residence or a family mausoleum? If the latter,;why the hot point or the coal range? Yours/watchfully", ' ' ' B."EJBEOtVEf. - • ■■■■'■"*;■•:■.• . ' ■•* OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES— The Flage enfants te'rrables are neither young enough, nor clever enough, to have said what follows; but it is an authentic kiddy story.*- Little Jami* (of Burton-on-Trent). knelt at his bedside saying his evening; prayers. After repeating "If I should die before I : wake," he startled his, mother by suS-' denly and vigorously declaring: '"'I tell you straight, Mum, there 'd be trOubl* in the morning."... ; ."-,.. '.-=■' ■* •■";•■.■"••.'■•■■■ / WHAT "DIZZY"*SAID DST '52.' Speaking'in the House of Common! just before the fall of the Derby-Dis-raeli Ministry in 1852 and the accession to office of the Aberdeen Ministry, Mr. Disraeli said: "I have to face a Coalition. The combination may b"a successful. A Coalition has before this*' been successful. But, Coalitions, although successful,. have always found' this, that their triumph, has been brief. This, too, I know, that England doe»; not love Coalitions." ; Naughty, Mr.: Disraeli, very naughty. . ~ GEOEGIE. POBGjT. \~ ■-«:"•■ •♦ • • AN ACE-HIGH COINCIDENCE. / Just as Sir Charles Kingsford Smith", after landing at New Plymouth,- jnadethe assertion that flying the Tasman was a lesser aeMeyement of his than the begetting-pf a nine-pounds son, a rooster in an adjacent back yard,crowed. Tie significance of that crow was not appreciated by all listeners but scientists who do not ignore coincidences will accept it as support for the Pythagorean, philosophy of metempsychosis. . . . A reincarnation of ■• some famoag air ace :iyas present (in feathers), and lustily ratified.. Sit: Charles's- statement. At the same time ■ it _ must be.' admitted that whilst of, scientific inrterest, .such, comparisons <of-' flying- simp/licity may be misleading^- ]■■ , . DON GOVANNt " ■ ' ..'■*:■ •■■-*. * ' - '."'■' taxes without teabs. This is forwarded by A.M., Palmerston North, "as a possible basis foi the Coalition Government's sew taxation poßcy—if any.' ' It is an. extract from "'Gulliver's Travels,"' bj; that sometimes ruthless wit^ Swift. I heard a very warm debate "between, two professors about the most commodious and effectual ways and. means of raising* money without grieving the subject: -■ - Thernrstaflirmed,"the justest method would be to lay a certain tax "upon vices and folly; and the sum fixed upon every man" to be rated, after the fairest manner, by a jury of Ms neighbours." ■ i . ' •.-■•■ The second was of an opinion directly ciontrary: "To tax those qualities of * boclfy and mind for which men chiefly, value themselves; the rate to be more or less according to -the degrees of excelling, the decision whereof should be lefjt entirely to their own heart." The highest, tax was upon men who &ye the greatest favourites of the other sex. Wit, valour, and politeness were likewise proposed to be largely taxed. But as to- honour, justice, wisdom, and learning, they should not be--taxed at all, because they are qualifications of so singular a kind, that no man-will either allow them, in Ha neighbour, or ■value them in himself. ■ ■ * *.:.*• . ON LEAVE. Dear Percy, when youtake your yearly leave, . '..-■• In sooth, I think your readers gently grieve; Not that'they would your well-earned leisure stint, . Yet sore they miss the bright coin, frqm your mint, '■• „. ■~':; In print.: Of woe the prophets now are passim? ( . many, . ■ . -. .■* Like' Gilbert's dukes, they'd sell at i _ three a penny; ": While souls who take a braver, brighter'" view, As you yourself habitually do, . Are few.' A glint of cheery sunshine all will prize, When threatening clouds obscure the ' kindlier skies. Shine then, Postscripts, scatter our mistrust; For keep our pecker up we simply must, Or bust. . - E.J.P. ■'. ■ "♦- -.* * • .• " ' IT'S A CUEIOUS WORLD. No doubt the average man would picture an expert whisky blender as a gentleman with chronic bloodshot eyes mauve-to-purple nose, an abdominal "bow-window," and a high contempt for, say, tea. Here's one who possesses none-. of',these degenerative symptoms. He is the blender to « verylarge (combine of Scottish distilleries,' who sets about his daily task soberly, and seriously, and finishes it.as eeri-' ?v 77? ni as soberly, though- he had then "dealt with" the contents of fifty, bottles ranged before him." The fact is that he had not swallowed a drop! A 1 measure of spirit from each bottle was placed m a glass with a double quantity of water, "to draw out the smell."Mr L. Bromi raised, it past his lips sniffed it pensively, made a comment: and—threw away the contents.- Asked if he had no variation on this arid method of procedure, Mr. Brown sshowed two other ways by which he-reaches his conclusions. He poured a spot of whisky mto Ms hands, rubbed them' together, buried Ms face in this, and inhaled. The second process seemed more promising. The glass went to his" lips, the contents passed into his.mouth. Mr. Brown made a face, threw Tback his head, gargled, and ejected the liquor into a convenient receptacle. It was after it had disappeared that, he was able to tell its quality. Mr. Brown's favourite tipple (apart from tea) is beer! Isn't it a quaint old tgprldt