POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXIV, Issue 69, 19 September 1932, Page 6

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY PLACE

Our weather yesterday and this morning must have made Kippax, Eradman, and Co. feel quite at Home. * * ■ • ■• Eeportod that the :domand for Australian fleeces continues- healthy and strong. No ono will poke fan. at that sort of woolgathering. * # * Says, "Delirious Dan": Ellsworth Vines is undoubtedly the world's great- ' est singles player, but it re/niiins to bo, seen how he will go in doubles. Anyhow, Miss Verle Low. seems to have scored an ace. • . . * *'. AND WHO CABBSt Says "Tho. Omadhaon'*i—r' c Any-how,-these first-hand glowing reports of what was done at Ottawa robustly reinforce my first impression that there is no short cut to prosperity except by tho long road of harder work than ever." ♦ ■ . *: ■-■■:# HEAVYWEIGHT CONTEST. News note.—The provisional count ia the elections to fill the three vacancies on the Dairy Produce: Control Board was announced last, night. . . Vote* were allocated on a tonnage basis.;. . "This, no doubt, accounts for thg heavy polling,'» comments Humerus, * * who wants to know if the member for Tauranga, himself a farmer of some weight,.is aware' of the" position. '" : ■:;/ .'■ * .''."■'♦.- :;r-r*-y "BILLY" HUGHES IN THE' NEW&; That careful hotel maid must have hurt W. M. Hughes's feelings when sh« turned the near-famous Australian into an Austr-alien. .But Billy has a sort of apache-like face which could mislead a.: vigilant young lady who, like many of . her contemporaries, hadrit the forldrhest idea-where' Sydney itai on "the ma]}, .- /Such ignorance is pardonable in a country which, qiia country^ labours .unfter the impression, that the Australian Natives' Association, an,, extremely- national; and populous organisation, is composed entirely v of decadent .dark warriors who throw boomerangs for pence' or " "bsecy," breed mangy terriers, anti-live- on the scavengingsof their"gins.'». "' '.-:.. :■'; -'- ... '♦.;•' ._ .*" ~ . ♦." ■ _.'". .''" ■;V ! DISCEENING SPOUSE.- -V ■ Dear P.F.y-~ : ;V - ' '.-■'■ y.■■'■)[.; '...'■'- YonSrnote has encouraged me to ■tryagain with the following re the perfect husband:—\. .' . The' really perfect',husband is a maa '■.-.: I've never seen, V, .' . .'■;■: Although of finding such, a ione I often ÜBed to dream. '• .-■':■■ I've now been married seven times, and truthfully, declare ;' -- ■ < The lovely dream has changed into? thY worst1 kind of nightmare. ; '' .' My married daughter tells me;.too, she , thinSs it's just a joke,;:; ".' '* For her old man is-'certainly" =a different sort of blokei '■ i ■.'•'■ :'[-< '< She thought her .Bill:wasperfect at .; ■-" the time that { they" were wiad, But finds that time will not arrive till :: Bill's' quite dead! ... '•■_ : ' *"■.'-•" . :-'i ■". "•"■?'■ G.C.W. . '; ■■; *_' :.■•■.!»■■-.■>• * ■ -■■■;■ .... WH,Lia«,BE:INGEU)4 ■ '; News; of the Prince; .of Wale's's approaching private yijsit to Ifche King of Sweden has set the Epyal matchmakers alight once more. The lady in the case is, of course, the father beautiful. Nordic, the, Princess Ingrid, whose name has more .than once in the past been coupled. with\ Edward • P's. WJien. last - month it was announced that the British Heir warr-tdJ lbok in • on' Stockholm in a-private capacity) all editorsof the principal Swedish dailies were summoned'to the' palacer of tho .Crown Prince, , Ingrid V father, where they were asked, and agreed, not to publish the fact- that the- Prince of Wales would visit there until: it was officially announced by. the royal family. The- request went further by re-' cognising for the first time the rumours linking Gustaf Adolf's bhly daughter and the Prince of Wales. Swedish newspapers; were asked ' and again agreed not to publish a line reviving rumours of a marriage, joining, the two; royal families at: any time during' the Prince ?s stay.; .■-.••': ■: ; *'* -V'-. '.*"• ■:'..''.-—•> PLAINTIVE PLAINT. Oh, Percy Flage, I'm in a rage>. Someone has roused my ire; Some human skunk . .-.'-. . :,.'■■ Has "done a bunk" ■• ... ':■" With,my spare rim and tire. ;... . It certain is he knows hisjob^ ■ . i And spends his time the poor.to ro¥. He'deven steal; his; milk I ybw," .; From some, poor unsuspecting cow. . Instead of buying-butcher's meatHe catches ft some poor cat, - And sjts down with his wife and kidi To gnaw it on the mat." : '.'■'■ /..'.' Maybe some -'day heTl share a cell , : With company of his choosing,' ' The mean, the weak, the miserable, . All travelling pell mell : i-_-Along a'road confusingi .' ■.; .:-!.. Oh, well! Perhaps my: tire and rim Will get him there much quicker, . - 'Twill run him up a bank and then We'll say good-bye, old cliap/amen. H& will not take \my. spare again.' .. I hear -the .devil snicker. ' ; '■ * His brothers are a legion.fold,. . And everyday they grow more bold. » Maybe we'll ;_find he's had a joke, | And. brought it back again,' • Then he will bnry deep the shears- - . He used to cut the chain. ' . ; HAVIT SEENIT. • ■'.'■■*-.' ■'" "■* '"" V .'*:'- ■•■V : . : i APOLOGIES -PENDING, „'- . Dear Mr. at Thorndon, have asked; me to.'writ&and ask: you to ask "MeetaGarbo"'where;it! was she saw- that! engine standing. That's a trifle"involvedi^nt-not jiall'Mh involved as Meeta's "tangle of -bright;': brass wheels above the furriiw*;door.'*' Anyway, ' totnighty the; whole'Cdepot! is.' in an uproar. The foreman.'wiits.'toV know,who in," had Bufdcient: standing time to permit of news reading, andy why, if they; had the time, they were carrying a big; enough fire to waste good' steam atthat dainty' "small funnel." Coal returns art bad enough! The drivers-are dead anxious to see a fireman capable, of .issuing a "soft moan," while the firemen say there has never been a driver who" could do more than growl, . "How the dickens do you expect me to run a train without steam?'.' :The firemen agree they are capable of sobbing,- but, with due defer, ence, it takes a driver, not Percy Plage, to bring that about.- I .'m taking the goods out .to-night,. and I expect my" fireman- will have tons ,of that steam with the "ceaseless temper" at Thorndon, and will have a slack gaugo before we get over the bank and run' into J'ville. But that won't be unusual. If, howeverj he starts any' sobbing, I'll also start some "rocking,"" but with his own!shovel! Truly; the '• author of "Phillip the Fearless "Kreman" and that once good seller,:Franlc L. Packard, have nothing on dear • "Meeta." _