POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXIV, Issue 25, 29 July 1932, Page 6

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

If Goode can be guilty,'tow <*• Swindell be innocent? « « # To judge by the cable reports from Ottawa, tbe Dominions' delegates are doing most of the talking, but it's a safe bet that John Bull is doing somo hai'd thinking! WHAT ABOUT PRAM STATISTICS! Who said tliat Old Man Slump had this country in a combined headlock— hammerioek—Boston cralj—body scissors hold? Motor registrations for the year are down only 7 per. cent.l Is that any good? * . * ♦ ■ . SUGGESTION. Dear Percy Flage,— . Seeing that the Sydney Harbour Bridge is now the selected spot tot suicide, the Gap having outlived iti lethal usefulness, I suggest, on the score of economy, that the caretaker at the Gap be sacked and the Gap b» reclaimed for building sites. Yours to a splash, GBEW SUM. **•. . . : ORDEAL FOR 80 YEARS. Uncle Sam's ambassador at the Court of St. James denies reports that he in* tended to resign. Probably" the 80* year-old Mr. Mellon is only feeling tired. Toward the end of last month, when several "Court nights" were held, Andrew was observed standing erect and dignified with his back to the wallVof the great throne room at Buckingham. Palace for two solid hours each night. , ,*..*■» BOUTS-BIMES. "Willoughby Wallaby).' is first in i»' the new jingle tourney where the rhyme terminals are "Bight," "&*7," "light," "way"—in that cider* The hedgehog walks . and woxk* at night; - And sleeps the livelong day, Because according to his lighty That is the proper way. • No. 2 comes from "Petone"—> •. The Long and Short of It. Long night, Short day, " High light— Broad-way. * .' • ft ■ TO MAME. Strike me pink! I've had a' fright;' 'Ere I thinks, it's Thursday night, ■ And so to read old Mame some more* a I opens the paper on the floor, And over old Flage's column I pot*. That it's Thursday night I 'are m« doubt, For Maine's not anywhere about. So to Mr. Flage I sends me verse, And wants to know if (she's ill, or WOTS** ■: Or if I've just got me days all wrong— My counting these days is .not too strong. "BESWi." "Henory" may rest reassured, Mrs. McClancy is quite well, and was on tint* as usual yesterday, but missed the but because it was too full, or something.— P.F . . ~„ * • ♦ -■ s * " BATT AND BAWL. Mr. Percy 3Tlage,— ' Dear Sir, —It was most gratifying-te read in* your column last evening (2fst§ July) the further step which has been, taken with a view to bringing abbt)t the construction of the Paremtta Bridge. Tho remarks which were passed at the deputation heartily endorsing a toll on this bridge are extremely latiefactory. I think Mr. Satt and his cJTud can consider themselves ♦'clean bowled." However, the Automobile Club have been responsible; for,- giving spectators in the grandstand and those in the'"outfield*' a very enjojrable game, but surely the time has now arrived for Mr. Batt to draw stump* and accept defeat as a true sport. Per* haps if the Automobile Club choose to take part in 1 some' other "Test m*teh*' in the future, they will be.'more anccew* ful in carrying their Batt!—l am, etc., "A CBICKETEB." ''.' v ' * *' ' » "' . MOENIKG TEA MONOLOGUE. Mornin', ole scout. The weather's »ot What's called uncomfortably 'ot; ] In other words, it's pretty punk, ■ Ain.'t, Devilera jest a skunk— ".' A dinkum nasty-tempered chap To'jirdge by.lookin' at'hees "map." It's no oil pain tin', but that goes For'lots of 'ight-placed folk I know% Wimmen-'a'-men. It's "arfl to wy t , Who you could borrow from to-day, Whose 'eart;s go out in sympathy, ; To 'umble siouls liko you-'n'me, Or lend a. jooled'-'n'-dainty 'and . To girls without a leg to stand On; as they say. Kind 'carts is more Thau crownets, as we've ?eard befor% Riches 'us wings, but actions good ' 'Elp the great cause of mother'ood. : I'ni glad the All Blacks took the cup An' towell'd tho skitin' Aussies up. With Billy Wallace at their side Kilby-'n'-Co. was 'ome-'a '-dried. Billy's a pet ... a friend of Bill . , v Gave ,'mi a docket for the 'ill ' When tho ole pot was bent-'n'-broke* Yes, Billy's jest that sorter bloke, Talkin' of ath-aleticsi dear, ' It would be posh one day to 'ea* That Thelma in 'ot little shorts,' Compctin' at Los Angles sports, 'Ad tore the cinders fit to bust An,' give the other girls 'er dust. If Thelma's 'andy in th» straight She'll make it tough, as sure as fate, With that last bull-dog rush. I •«• That eggs is cheaper down the Quay, * ■■ *,■♦-■' NO "DRY" EVENINGS THERE. When you have read this you willrealise at last how thoroughly Prohibition has impregnated the social life of the Great American Republic, yessir! It is an advertisement' culled from that sprightly journal, "The 3S»w Yorker.'.' Hero it goes (without the usual display, and illustration, of course): "HERE'S HOW , . .tit inject a sparkling new note into your % entertainment . . .to incite ih# admiration and patronage of your guests ... and to facilitate th» proper cavo for their needs: THE BANTAM BAH! A gay nomad that goes places and does things with disarming gaiety . .' . that 'free-wheels' (oa ball-boaring rollers) to any part of the house . . . that carries with it all the .paraphernalia, (even to the ice cubes from its own refrigerating unit) . . . that ends host-trouble with delightful convenience. AND—on the more sedate occasions it remains quietly reposed . . .a beautifullydesigned and exquisitely-finished piece of really fine furniture . ..* decorative addition to any room, . . ." The half-tone illustration discloses an exceedingly complete outfit with what look like bottles of synthetic gin, m syphon or two, and an artistic eock,-tail-shaker pardonably and particularly prominent. If "over there". yo» throw that sort of party, THE BAN* TAM BAB would seem to be Indispensable if. j* lappy, tlm« is to be *M! »k«%.v- ■■■• ,'■""..,.•