POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXIII, Issue 141, 16 June 1932, Page 10

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLACE

So Chile is not going blood, Red . . . only parlour, pink? That's encouraging. Perhaps the Junta heard that a British cruiser -was on its way; to Santiago. *# • ' "With all respect for the sensibilities of the N.Z.E.I. we suggest that eduea--tion seems to be the solution of all problems—barring hard times, windowsmashing, anfl tricks by '*confidence* men. * * * • QUESTION AND ANSWER. Apropos the possible failure of tha Disarmament Conference, "The Times'? asks:—"Are other Governments of tha' world prepared to apply to their owii eases in -whole or in part the limits tions of armaments imposed on tha vanquished countries after the -war*1* ' Tho answer is: Yes, they are—not. ," *'♦ * j "FORE." Headings from a contemporary. TURF-LIFTING DEVICE. SUCCE_SS AT AUCKLAND. Mechanical contrivances have still & " long way to go before they catch upwith the "green" golfer who goes out to do his worst after three lessons from the "pro." •> * * * CAREFREE, j Prom s.s. PutSti . . . wirelessed on a short wave length. Strong drink is raging, and wine is a mocker, Bnt hero I am cosy in Davjr Jones's locker, Swapping lies with the boys, who don't care a jot Whether Gordon Coates goes to that conference or not. * * » - MORE TENSE SILENCES. The silence was .so tense you could hear:— • 1. A Scotsman say, "This one's on: me." • . 2. The Carillon. 3. The clink of sovereigns in the col* lection plate. 4.- Mr. Lang singing tho Anthem. 5. M*- O'Began , applauding « "Jekyll and Hyde" performance. ( . J.H. , TALKING' OF ZOOS. ' ■ If several of our sentimentalist and, economy expert councillors are right, it is high time the League of Nations or some equally ineffectual body r lookeel into the question of-Berlin's collection of representatives of the world's - •fauna. With 3829 ' animals of 1252 species in its confines; the Berlin. Zoo claims to be the 'largest under tha sun._ At the end of the war, the col* lection had been reduced-to almost: noJ thing. And this reminds us: though' Germany is desperately up against it in the ■ economic sense, it has not occurred—yet—to the burghers of Berlin! to advocate the slaughtering or selling of any of their Zoo exhibits for any reason whatsoever. * W . ' •. • MAINLY FIGURES; - . It was reported by cable that' tha" first Rugby League Test, England versus Australia, set a new "record in attendances (for Australia) with a' crowd officially numbered at slightly1 over 70,000. A client/"M.8.," Petone^ is rather anxious about it .*-.''. 'ha has an impression "that that figure was topped at a final in Melbourne several years ago. We are sorry to disappoint "M.8.," but, for' a single match, the figures are against him. So far as is known, 'the largest throng that ever at* tended a contest in Melbourne was justi under 67,000. . However, such figured measure tip only moderately well against such "gates" as -the- English; Cup final and the Scottish - Cup" tie. When Newcastle-won the former soma weeks ago at Wembley 92,296 fans; mi eluding the" King'and. the Queen, watched the game. The gate receipts totalled--£24,688. Cnriously enough, the Scottish Cup tie at Glasgow was witnessed by an even larger crowd, to wit, 111,982. But the gate amounted to only £4500. Now here's a chanc'a to work another one off on the Harry) Landers. * ■ ... ■..♦■' • MORNING TEA MONOLOGUE. ' Yes, please. I'll 'avo some toasted} scone ... They don't, put too much butter on. . These nowadays, do they? Shut youig eyes, " I've got for'you a Teel surprise— 1 - A little piece of potry ■ . . , yes, J All my own work,'as you may guess, ■ Bill, thinks it is, as by-'n'-large, Quite up to that 'of Mr. Flage, Or Meeta Garbo, Suburb Ann, Or 'AmisliDoo .". .you. knowth^ man.' •: Bill swears by hanythink I do". I'd like, to read the pome to you Under me breath. To make v it plaii? I've labelled it, "She Loved in VaiuJ* I'd send Jit to the.;' 'Bullertin" If they would only put it in, But they, I 'ear, is too 'igh-brow An' cock-eyed, too. Well, llssen now— i "Sho was 'er parients' only 'girl, The sweetest thing in all the world. 'Er eyes was blue, 'er 'earfc was gold, Sho halways done what she was told. Sho never missed '-er Sunday School, An' by 'er passions was not ruled, Sho was 'er parients' joyr'n'-pride,-Des-tined to be.a loverly bride. Halas!-. A shadder o*er/er way; . Rupert the 'andsome an' the gay, With flashin' orbs, who won 'er 'earf. An' urged 'er from 'er"'ome to part. They fled away; 'er daddy swore She was their little girl no more, - Until one night they found her deatj Houtsido the door. The mother said* 'She 'as come back to us again, Our bonny lass'who loved, in vain/*. * ■■■■■■*■ • FLIGHTS OF FANCY. Wo hayo had' some curious aama combinations in this feature, but an Australian contemporary has unearthed a collection which is-hard to.mateh — let alone beat. Neighbouring farmers in the Western District. (Victoria) aro named Winter and Summer: respectively. The stream, that divides their holdings is called Spring Creek! An oil,company in Melbourne has on its clerical staff ■ four men, who boar tho names of Waters, Due, Bath, and Drain. Tho Victorian railways. - has employees who answer to Guinea, Pound, Shilling, Penney, and Halfpenny! Names appropriate to calling reach a big total. Tjero is (in Melbourne) a Constable C.-Constable, Mr. Barr (Hotel Licences Reduction Board), - Mandarino, an Italian fruiterer, Rev. Godbehere, Bones a butcher, Head a hatter, Plane a carpenter, Seames a tailor, and bakers named Baker aro common. But Sale, a town- in S.E. Victoria, can show a pretty list of such coincidences: It has a Bull, a stock and station agent; Gabbett, ah "auctioneer; Cleaver, a butcher; Tann, a tanner; Mallett, a carpenter; Dyer, an undertaker; Miss Raggett, a dressmaker, and Cole, a blacksmith. And to conclude for the moment— in Windsor there is a firm named Benfold, his next-door neighbour being named Penfold, whilou not so far away in. another suburb there/ is a firm's sign—Cherry; and Quinee^