POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXIII, Issue 74, 29 March 1932, Page 6

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment BY PERCY FLAGE Further details of the gallant de , Graot'a feat of arms strengthens our conviction that he is just the man to cut our Gordian (and Forbesian) knot.. * * * ■; ' TRUTH IN THE SIGNS. ■ An. electrical sign across the front of a Perth theatre read: "If. it's a —— Picture, it's the Best Show in Town." Underneath was the star item. ..on the: night's programme: "The Magnificent Lie." ■ ■'■' ♦ *, • * ' ■ OVEBDOING IT. That Hindu mystic who gorged himself a second time on strychnine, concentrated nitric acid, cyanide, and consomme of broken glass, has died."He neglected (it is said) in this instance to perform certain rites. . . '* Probably his manager mislaid tha emetic. ..- JUMP—OE BUMP.' An inventor of a shock-absorber de-' signed to make aeroplanes crash-proof piled up his contraption at the bottom, of a ravine, but jumped out and was uninjured. It is reported he was satisfied with the result. He might well be. The ass might foolishly have trusted to his bump eliminators. ! • * ■■• ■~■" ■ WHEEE "WAS MORRISON? "Buster" on the job.—Didn't it make you laugh to see a paragraph in what the general public call—and rightly so —"your, valued paper," setting out the speed limits for buses on the Hutt , .road?r Twenty-five miles per hour in the city, and thirty miles elsewhere (Petone not mentioned!). I travelled/ t'other evening in a bus . which' stopped four times en route i to:: Lower. Hutt, via Petone, which, took just seventeen (17) 'minutes from' the Cecil corner, io Hutt, Post Office. "What do you think they would have done to a private car had it attempted this feat % :.:•')■ * * .. *■■■. .;.v: POSTED MISSING. ,\ "C.K."— Your race quip was up t» the .mark but reached us too late. ■; ■ E.C.H.—That, ; picture of ourselves with "little, golden ringlets" peeping out from beneath a "bun" was toot too much for us. Thanks all the same. '' McHogan.' '—Good work. Thanks for that sprightly journal . .'. a dry oasis in a "wettish" land. ;' "Matrix."—Thanks. Will jeleas'e at the appropriate time. ' ' Shocking Records.' '—Your rhymes are not so engaging as we: remember them. ■ Whaffor? ' . "D.S.C."—Fruit or vegetable, my dear sir, it disagrees with- us mal-2 evolently. But doesn't'its rich hua help the colour scheme of a salad? ' ■■■ "G.H.W."—Dream not quit© up io your form. : ■ ... .-'.'■ ' "E.M."—Your "Visitor from Mars't comes but poorly accredited. "Jo John."—lf w e could make head, or tail of it maybe it would prove a 1 winner. It's cryptic quality beats us. '' G.G.»'—Sorryj that point has .already been made in?<this,.columns- -•-- ■~' " Mary Ann. ?'—-Promising for a "first, attempt. If you care to, try again.: "Billyum.''—ln ratherpoor taste, is. you will pardon our saying so. '•■.•» ♦ ; ,;.*.. - : v " LITERARY RELIC, \' -■• Exclusive to our literati.... tipstersj bar-tenders, billiards-makers, high* powered, salesmen, and wild cat .com* pany promoters are warned, off. OveP in New York'someone has discovered a valentine by Edgar Allan Poe sent to a Miss Louise, Olivia Hunter, and never before published. It is dated 14th February, 1847, and. written on Victorian valentine paper, with a lacepattern border. Here are the lines i. Though I turn, I fly not— , I cannot depart; I would try, but try'not , - ~* To release my heart. - , And my hopes are dying . While, on dreams relying, ■ lam spelled by art. Thus the bright snake coiling Neath the forest tree Wins the bird, beguiling, To come down and see; Like that bird the lover Rpund his fate will hovel : Till the blow is over And he sinks—like me. ■ The poem reflects the tragedy which! Poe had just experienced. Sixteen days before it 'was written, Poe's wife had died.' This loss, and his subsequent long illness, left him a shattered man, and the morbid state of his mind was not assisted by the fact that the poet's libel suit against "The Mirror": was pending. So far as is known, only one other valentine was written by Poe—* the one indited to Mrs. Osgood in 1846. * *'. * EASY-MONEY CARNERA. Oh', but the gods are smiling on Cari| nera of the No. 20 shoes and the ham-: like fists. He is trapesing down Easy,' Street picking up gold by the bagfull., If some astute French ring iinpressariaj' had not seen pugilistic possibilities in! the giant, Camera might still have been.'; doing the provincial side shows doingi weight-lifting stunts' and swabbing' down the elephants in his. spare time, , . . all fpr a few: francs per diem. As it is—look at him. Chased by iightj promoters with .five-figure guarantees' to play with devitalised veterans oti other pseudo heavyweights and then! ... bang! Eaw when he began his boxing career, Signor Camera has de-j veloped both skill and confidence since.: What Jeffries, Jack Johnson, Bob Fitzsimmons and Jack Dempsey, _ia their prime, would have done to hinii would have been a real shame. But the luck is with him.' . Unlessit is Mr. Sharkey now studying aesthetics in his swell Brooklyn mansion, cellar and all,! there seems "to be no one in sight to) stack up against this monument to the! virtues of spaghetti. His latest giffc ( was an Easter Egg in the shape o§ Cook, an Australian scrapper with aboutj as much claim to a championship con-.j test as we have to the Wendell mil-j lions. Even with "pillows"—flight! ounce gloves —Camera probably had. to' "pull" his punches in order to give the] crowd something like a run for its! money. And now, Mr. Dompsoy, it is, reported, has been booked up for two clashes (for big money) with Camera, the first to take place at Eeno on 4th' July next. This is a twenty-rounder.1 Well! Well! You can fool a lot of the public all the time. Jack, having Tun through his mountain of dollars, has been starring in four or five-round "set ups" with husky youngsters in the. States in order to keep his bank balance, nearly square. Expert ringsiders - say: frankly that he is but a shadow of his former self, and as likely to go twenty; rounds with anybody, let alone Camera^ as Winston Churchill is to turn Bolshie, to-morrow. The Italian has only to stop lively in the first few spasms, and if the Dempsey logs do not wilt—well,we shall apologise handsomely. Any-, way, what about persuading Jimmy; Wilde to stage a "comeback" in an endeavour to stop the Goliath's inarch? There are millions in the ideal