POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXI, Issue 83, 9 April 1931, Page 10

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

At the time ol: writing, the only authoritative and otherwise'reliable new;s concerning the Mayoralty nomination mix-up is (1) that Mr. Chapman, M.P. :md ourselves are definitely not; standing this year, and (2). that the Hon. Jas. Roberts has not yet been ask* ed by anybody to contest the honour.

About that mystery of a wrecked car found at the- foot of a,high, cliff up Auckland way. Please, we didn't push it over. An eye-witness who saw the car plunge is reported as saying that the "cad" had stopped on the road, on the edge of the cliff.—Which is just what a cad would do in. the circumstances.

Authentic headlines—a pair of them —from a startled country journal. PAID TO DRINK BEER. PAID TO DRINK BEER. A necessary repetition. We didn't believe our ears the first time.

Now news as reported in a provincial contemporary of light and leading. The fact that the ex-champion ■ heavyweight, Jack Dempsey, lias leased a residence at Reno, Nevada, for six weeks, strengthens the rumour that he and. his wife are preparing for n, divorce. Mr. Deinpscy was Estelle Taylor, the film actress. Mrs. Dempsey, as all the world knows, first broke into fame as the "Mail" assa mauler."

One of our most noble clients looked in with this— Explosivo "noises are not all due t« earthquakes or murders or lorries backfiring on the Hutt road or the lefusal of the old gaol to come apart. Last night a city resident, alarmed by, sounds as of an 18-pounder in the vicinity, rushed outside to see what wai wrong. A head popped out of a neighbour's window. "That's America, Mr. !" said the head. "Isn't it lovely!''

BED-ICULOUSI > My pop was a "Bed" politician In our parlous Parliament, But they "sent him down" for sedition. . An' now, don't Pa lament! . Stonewall Jackson jua. '

FOE WOMEN ONLY. : . Coming from the States, this story, in which Ishbel Mac Donald stars, may, be suspect; nevertheless, it deserves to be true. The British Prime Minister's daughter was staying the night with; one of the richest of America's rich. The anxious hostess, coming into her bedroom to sec that the distinguished guest had everything she could possibly; want, found the English girl placidly; washing a f qjv treasured "silkies.". "Butj my dear," protested the lady of tha house, "there are twenty servants to do that .for you." "Thank you very much," replied Miss MaeDonald, "but I rather wanted to do it myself. . It's a nice change." ' The hostess, who in her young wifehood had done the family washing, looked on for a moment. She could not' resist the temptation of her guest's electric iron. An astonished maid later found the daughter of England's Premier and the multifmillionairess thoroughly enjoying a housevrifely interlude in a bedroom whose furniture and decoration had cost many thousands of dollars.

Intellectually renewed by last week's enforced vacation—part of our policy; of retrenchment in this feature—Mistress M'Clancy takes morning tea in a fashionably long frock and distinct"! ly audible swallows. She has requested a little music as a special favour . . . that soothing murmur ofE stage o.p. door1 is Amos and Andy.praeV tising crooning. So, and therefore— If this old dump ain't upside down I'm Queen of Spain, without me crown, Fancy Alphonso and hees missus Wastin' their 'igh-an'-mighty kisses Upon them beggars . . . that dfs dope Of kiddin' Fate ain't gotter 'ope. If Al don't want no bother there Hees gotter treat hees subjecks square, I see King George is not too fit. Perhaps hees just run down, a bit Eeadin' those yowls of Bothermere, Who owns the "Dilly Mail," I 'ear, An' wants to run all England, too, Like tho late Northcliffe tried to do. If I went 'Ome one day to' stop Fd vote for Baldwin neck an' crop. 'Ere's wishing our most gracious KingJ Hees 'ealth again an' everything. Yes. Times is 'ard an' outer joint For everyone . . . you see me pointf, Talkin' of George . . . 'ats off toj Forbes Who someone says 'as rbvin' orbs Of which I don't know nothin', bui; Hees standin' solid by the "cut," Which, dear, 'c 'as to do the same' To save our dear old country's name. " Labour would 'aye 'im leave hees post^ An' burn hees boats, give up hees ghost, But George is faithfulto hees trust-^----'E'll see this muddle through or bust* An' talkin' of big polertics— I 'ope, you've paid your 7s 6d. It's 'aid to find sometimes, but still, Where there's a way there is a wilL

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