OF INTEREST TO WOMEN

Evening Post, Volume CXIII, Issue 48, 26 February 1927, Page 16

OF INTEREST TO WOMEN

Abroad and At Home

THE SCHEME OF THINGS

(By M.H.C.)

' It is rather a curious thing that so much of : the interest in connection with the alterations of the Book of Common Prayer: of'the Anglican Church should .have, centred on tho proposal to eliminate the word "obey" from the promise of the woman married to the man. It shows, certainly,. that it is the lesser things which are of chief human interest, for there are many much big; ger questions which will be raised by the alterations, and if carried out there will be changes which will affect the old-fashioned church people to a very great extent, and alter the point of view of thousands in years to come. The question of the "reservation of tho Sacrament" is one of the fundamental alterations to be discussed, and yet it has not appeared to interest the majority in anything like the degree that might have been expected. Those who have been asked to give opinions also have failed curiously to,touch on a vital part of the question of the marriage vows, and only one remarks on the absurdity of a man who, with small or. no means, promises to endow his wealthy..briae "with all his worldly goods." It is undoubtedly absurd, but no more so than this vow at any time, for the man is not born who would be so foolish and short-sighted as to hand over air his property and means to a new and untried wife. In the same ratio it is absurd for a girl to have to promise unconditionally to obey a man who may or may not turn out to be honest and reliable, incapable of asking her to do anything mean or dishonourable. Therefore the man and woman, at a very sacred service, and at a solemn moment, when they are asked to believe that they are specially in the presence of God, have to ; make each a false promise, which they know perfectly well to be. false. It has always been a very lamentable thing that these promises should be forced upon men and women. The new suggestions are that the prospective husband should promise to "share" his goods with his wife, and the word "obey".is to be omitted. All that the law demands is that the people concerned should given their names, ages, parentage, place of abode, and nationality, and that tho announcement that they take each other to bo man and wife should be made before witnesses. Every marriage service must include these provisions, whether it takes place in a church or not. In Scotland the simple declaration before witnesses is still accepted in some parts as a binding contract; and they need not give all particulars about age, nationality, etc. •. . •:••..'.

..One branch, of the Beformed Jewisti Church does ( pot include any promise of life-long affection, and the promises made are . not only really beautiful, but are better suited to the uncertainties of human emotion, and the mistaken impulses of undisciplined hearts. At the same time they are promises which should ensure-' domestic happiness. First comes tho declaration necessary to fulfil the law, and the putting on of the ring, and the bridegroom then says; "I stand here to-day to make-, thee a covenant of affection and truth, and to take thee to be my lawful and wedded wife in the' presence of God. . I solemnly vow to be a ti;tie,t:~devoted,-,-and constant husband, and thou shalt be'-called by my name. And I will love thee and cherish thee according to the means with which God shall bless me. Thy sorrow shall bo my sorrow, thy happiness and wellbeing shall be mine. So help me God." It would be difficult to imagine a finer or better summary of the duties of a husband, and the declaration of the wife is equally beautiful. She places a ring also, on the third finger of the' man's left hand, and says: "I .do also solemnly enter into this holy affectionate covenant to take thee to be my lawful husband, and to link my heart to thy heart, my destiny to thy destiny, and to be called .by thy name. I solemnly vow to bo to thee a true, affectionate, and constant wife, and to stand faithfully by thy side whether in health or sickness, whether in prosperity or adversity. Thy sorrows shall bo my sorrow, and thy happiness and wellbeing shall be mine. So help me.God." In an older form of Jewish ceremony the bride and bridegroom are under a canopy to symbolise the tents of the. ancestors, they face the East looking 1 towards. the_ Holy City, and the bridegroom, .sa,ys: "Behold, thou are consecrated to me by this ring, according to' tho law of Moses and Israel," the legal contract following which provides that tho parties will be true and faithful, 'to protect, to support, to love, honour, and cherish. It wouia be difficult to improve on the simplicity and dignity of this contract and ceremony.

•:• With the Society of Friends the ceremony of marriage is equally simple, solemn, and direct- The bride and bridegroom, sit facing the meeting, and a prayer, is; offered ,by some relative or intimato friend,. and . when tho right moment appears to have come the two stand-up, and. each makes the following declaration, just altering the wording to suit the sex: Friends I take this, my friend, to be my wife, promising through Divine assistance to be unto her a loving and faithful husband, until it shall please the Lord by death to separate us." . An interchange of rings is made, but is not' part of the ceremony. The Society of Friends has always upheld the perfect equality of men and women, and no promise to obey has ever been, exacted from a bride.of their faith.

The Greek Church requires a written document resembling a license, or tlie publishing of the banns on three successive Sundays. Marriage with a nonChristian is 'ihot"pcrmittcU, With one hand ,on the Gospel and in the other a lighted taper the priest addresses first the bridegroom and then the bride. The vow is the same in each case, and runs thus:. "Wilt thou have to be thy lawful wife, and promise her fidelity, love, help, and kind treatment all thy life?" He promises, "I will have her, and I promise." Other, marriage customs are much the same, and do not give rise to any un-becoming-levity at the time of the ceremony, or make an excuse, for tyranny afterwards, sueli as have obtained, most unfortunately, through the form, of the 'sorvico at present under world consideration.