SELF-ACCUSED.

Evening Post, Volume XCVII, Issue 38, 15 February 1919, Page 11

SELF-ACCUSED.

"Did the postman leave any letters, Mary?'' ■■•■■.. "Nothing but a post-card, ma am. "Who is it from, Mary?" ' "And-do you think I'd -read it, ma'am?' asked the girl, with an injured air. ; "Perhaps not. But anyone who sends me a message on a post-card is either, stupid or impertinent." • ".You'll excuse me, ma'am," -returned the girl, loftily; "but that's a nice way to be talkin' about your own mother."

On. Johnny's first day at school he was given a registration card on which his mother was to write his birth record. The following day he arrived taTdy, and without the registration slip. "Johnny," said the teacher, "you must bring an excuse for being tardy, and don't forget the slip about when you were born."

All out of breath next day Johnny rushed in, holding a note front, his mother.

"Teacher," he gasped, "I brought the one about being'tardy, but I forgot.my excuse about being bom."

"I love the ground yon walk on," he said. And a little later inquired: "Does your father;own .this property?"

Sillious: It is hard to determino why some marriages are failures. Cynicus That's right.. > Sometimes it's because tho wifo is suspioious; sometimes because sho isn't.