A MOCK COURT

Evening Post, Volume LXXXIX, Issue 126, 29 May 1915, Page 6

A MOCK COURT

WELL-KNOWN PEOPLE BEFORE THE "JUDGE." A mock court, presided over by a fear-some-looking judge wearing a gown and an exaggerated wig, was conveyed around town in a large motor lorry today and dealt out punishment to all and sundry who came within its clutches. Tlie penalties imposed took the shape of fines, which will go to swell the funds for the candidature of Miss Palmer, tho Civil Service Association nominee. The pseudo-judge was Mr. James Dykes, and counsel, who were wearing hirsute appendages which looked as though they had only a somewhat precarious hold, were Messrs. F. E. Kelly and Ryan, of the Public Trust Office, fn addition to a court orderly there were numerous alleged policemen, who pounced on unsuspecting members of the community and placed them in the dock, thereby provoking much hilarity among the large crowd of onlookers. The court commenced its jurisdiction in front of Government Buildings. The first victim to come under the eye of the judge was Mr. J. Death, the head mes- I senger, who was charged with "allowing his chin whiskers to hang on the street, thus obstructing the traffic." There was a roar oi laughter, in which the judge and prisoner joined heartily wh L n the indictment was read out. The judge seemed very much impresed with the gravity of the offence and shook his head uncompromisingly. The ciown prosecutor asjted for a heavy penalty and the judge fixed the fine at Is, which was willingly paid over. As he stepped from the box the prisoner was warned by the judge that he must have a shave straight away. After that there was a constant procession of prisoners who were sworn by blowing out a match. Mr. James Hislcip, Under-Secretary for Internal Affairs, pleaded not guilty before any charge was read out to him. "If you're not guilty you have no right to be her<*. but I say you are i;uilty; you must be guilty." snapped out the judge, who tapped his rostrum ferociously with a ruler. The charge it transpired was that the prisoner did put in an appearance at his office before 9 o'clock in the morning. The judge appeared to be quite shocked. "This is the fifty-eighth time you have been before this Court", and you are fined 10s," he said severely. " Give me time to pay," pleaded the prisoner, with a laugh. " You'll get time if f you don't pay now,' was the only satisfaction ho leceived fiorn ' the judge. Tho "fine" was immediately 'forthcoming. Among the onlookers was Dr. Thomson, dilator of tlie Museum, who was promptly seized by the energetic " constables " and haled before the Court on a trivial I'b.jr^ 1 which H-sulted in Iho judicial exchequer beiiiu augmented Jps anofch«i: few sbillaig*. las most tan'

sational " arrest " was that of Mr. W. G. Riddell, S.M., who was captured by tho police scouts as he was quietly wending his way across Lambton-quay. With the utmost good humour he allowed himself to be placed under the stern eye of the judge. Amid much merriment he was then charged with associating with bad characters. " contrary to the form of -the Statute." Again the prosecutor appealed for a substantial penalty. " You are constantly seen in close association with prisoners," was the comment of the judge, in sharp tones. " This is a most deplorable offence, and I will make the penalty a heavy one in the hope that you will turn over a now leaf " Tho penalty was fixed at 10s. Another well-known gentleman captured was Dr. F. Fitchett. of the Public Trust Office, who was also penalised to the extent of 10s for allowing his department to show a credit balance. "Howdare you show a credit balance ?" snorted the judge ; "you know the Government doesn't like it." Alany others were arrested, including Mr. E. H. Taylor, Mr. J. W. Macdonald (solicitor for the Public Trust Office), Mr. M. C. Barnett, Mr. B. M. Wilson, Mr. W. V. Dimock, Councillor J. E. Fitzgerald, Mr. E. J. Fitzgibbon, and a little pierrette who was collecting on behalf of another fund. The last-named pleaded guilty to being 25 years of age and unmarried, and the judge, after hplding up his hands in horror, fined her 6d. She pleaded that she had no money, and' tlie judge, relenting at the sight of beauty in distress, said he would pay the penalty himself. At one stage the court was thrown into a state of agitation by the arrival of two glass mugs of yellow fluid on a tray. One was eagerly^ seized by the judge, who proceeded to*'d,iink and deal out "justice" alternately. * Then the court went on its way refreshed, and fined everyone who came before it with great enthusiasm.