" CHIEFLY CHIGNONS."

Evening Post, Volume LXXXI, Issue 18, 23 January 1911, Page 9

" CHIEFLY CHIGNONS."

I Dramatis Personae — Attendant Duchess, I Mabel and Me. Seene — Messrs. Fitem Bros. Me (meekly) : "I want a hair-frame, please." A.D. (frigidly and accentuating her P. D. curve) : "What colours?" Me (apologetically) : "Mid-brown." A.D. (with sceptical look at my frostbesprinkled locks) withdraws into space. Mabel (introspectively, and gazing through stout matron) : "That lavender bag would go so nicely with my belt and gloves. Me : "But you have seven bags already." A.D. (returning, and placing a bi-cycle-frame atrocity on the counter) : "Something after this' style?" Me (desperately) : "Oh., I am sorry ! I didn't mean this kind. One for the back — a b-bun, I think it is called." A.D. (crushingly) ; "Do you mean a chignon?" Me (in confusion) : "Oh, yes ! that's it." A.D., adjusting the propeller bows on her peroxide locks again 3 withdraws. Mabel (decidedly) : "You are not going to wear one of those sights, are you?" Me (humbly) : "I saw a woman, today who looked rather nice." Mab9l (sarcastically, and regarding frowsy-haired individual who is passing with various "rats' tails" straggling down from one of the aforesaid articles) : "You')] certainly look well with your hair done in that style!" Me (deferentially) : "But I'd use a fe-w more hair-pins, and I'd put a net over it." Mabel (more decidedly) : "I'm sure it wouldn't suit you, and I don't know what the girls will say." Me (forbodingly) : "Nor I ! But I just thought — " A.D. (returning with fuzzy cocoanut protuberance) : "This is the only (with withering glance) mid-brown chignon dowustairs." Me (thankfully) : "That will do." Mabel (firmly) : "Nothing of the kind. If you will wear an abomination at least let it be a decent one." To A.D. (curtly) : "Haven't you anything better than that?" A.D. (more briskly) : Not downstairs. Shall I go upstairs?" Mabel (quickly) : "Yes, please." A.D. departs with undulating sway. Me (admiringly) : "How do you do it? 1 wouldn't dare to address her like that." Mabel (with scorn) : "No wonder yoar room is full of rubbish you don't want. Now, I'll just have on© more look at those bags." (Goes to another counter. ) Five minutes — ten minutes pass. A pleasing drowsiness is stealing over me. Figures are beginning to assume a hazy far-away appearance, when a deferential voice murmurs in my ear — "Pieshaw !" Me (bewilderedly) : "Thank you, but I am waiting for a bun." Deferential one's eyes 'glaze with horror. Mabel (cuttingly) : "The lady means she is waiting tor »■ chignon !" D.O. bows and withdraws. Mabel (despairingly) : "I do wish you'd try to remember the proper name of it." Me (to distract attention) : "Did you get the bag?" Mabel (with animation, displaying it) : "Yes ,- isn't it lovely 1 Only tive-and-six. To-morrow I shall discard the brown one, and wear only this with my lavender belt and gloves. Isn't that girl back yet?" Me (hopefully) : "Perhaps they are making one upstairs." Another five minutes pass. Fortunately Mabel is absorbed m the antics of a lady who has the counter covered with embroidery, finally selecting half a yard at sixpence halfpenny. A.D. (returning, having had time to arrange one peroxide curl over the right shoulder, and bringing with her four mid-brown chignons (smiling ever so faintly) : "Sorry to have kept you !" Me (quite overcome) : "1 don't mind in tho least." Mabel (energetically) : "I am surprised in an establishment like-, this that a sufficient stock is not kept downstairs." Me (pointing to smallest protuberance). "I'll have that one, please." Mabel (firmly) : "Not at all, it will look like a lamp-shade on you. (To A.D.) : This one! It will look less — obnoxious." A.D. (looking over my head) : "They are certainly trying to some iaces." Mabel (curtly) : "How much 1" A.D. : "One and three please" (raising voice), "Saign !" Mabel (extracting shilling and threepence from my purse) : "Thank goodness we haven't to wait for change." (To A.D.) : "Just make that loop firmer, please." (To Me) : "Now, come on. We have missed only two trains, but (crushingly) the others won't mind when they hear you are a chignon, to the good." Mabel (sixty-five minutes later, to audience of four) : "First she called the thing a bun ! Then she wanted to buy all the rubbish in the shop. Then she waited for it half-an-hour, missed two trains, and finally — lost it comjng off the boat !" (Uncomplimentary murmurs from audience.)—T.C. in Sydney Herald.