HINTS ON COOKING.

Evening Post, Volume XLVII, Issue 88, 14 April 1894, Page 2 (Supplement)

HINTS ON COOKING.

[By Barak Barnes.] (Written for the Evening Post.) One morning last week, while busy in my office, I heard a light rap at the j door. I called out, " Come in," but |no onei entered ; so I raised my voice j to a gentle roar, and launched another I " Come in," upon the air, and heard the echo of it die away down the long passage. Still no one entered. I arose and went to the door, and there stood two women, both showing signs of being somewhat flurried. " I beg your pardon, ladies, but I had no idea that I was to be honoured by a visit from members of the fair Hex. Pray take, seats." My visitors being -seated, I asked how I could be of service to them. " You are Mr. Barnes, I presume," said the elder of the two ladies. " Yes, that is*my name," I replied. "Well, the fact is, Mr. Barnes, we come to you as a deputation from a large number of ladies in our district, to request you to publish a few general hints on cooking, similar to your excellent " Hints on Farming " which appeared some time ago. Our husbands are never done talking about them ; they say that your remarks on that subject were so lucid that a child could understand even though it could not profit by your advice. I hope we are not asking too much from you." I felt gratified by her remarks, and replied, " My dear madam, I shall be very pleased indeed to accede to your request. Should I succeed in pleasing you as well as I seem to have your husbands, I shall be amply repaid for any little trouble I may be put to in the matter. Perhaps I may be permitted to state, without being thoughtguilty of self aggrandizement, that one of my ancestors was baker in chief to an Egyptian king — one of the Pharaohs, 1 think he said— so you will see that I am in a position to apeak with some little authority on the subject." (I did not tell her that he was hanged — presumably for his criminally bad cooking — it appeared to me to be inexpedient to do so.) After thanking me, the deputation withdrew. That is how the following " Hints " came to be written : — Cooking is as much a science as is chemistry or astronomy. Men, as well as women, should know how to cook well and scientifically. A great deal of unnecessary suffering is inflicted upon the human race through ignorance of this most important art or science, as you may please to call it. When food is badly cooked the .stomach is called upon to perform work that it was never intended it should perform. Improperly cooked food is generally tough, and a considerable effort is required to chew it thoroughly. Very often the teeth, especially if they ure not sound, fail to properly masticate such food ; the result being that .large pieces of it are swallowed in a state quite unfit for being easily digested in the stomach. Many people, in order to mitigate this evil, adopt a means which is most injurious to health. I refer to the practice of drinking large quantities of liquid, tea or water, duriug meals. This, while softening the food in the mouth, dilutes the gastric juice and renders it unfit for doing its work properly. When this is done, the gastric juices aie either weak or are unable to come in contact with much of the food at a time, the process of digestion is impeded, and instead of feeling invigorated by the food wo have eaten, we suffer tortures from that misery of miseries — indigestion. I remarked before that men, as well as women, v should be able to cook well ; and is this not true f .How many estimable men would have been Bayed from ruin and disgrace, and would even now be associating with their more enlightened fellows, if only they had known how to cook their accounts properly? I maintain that this is a most important iiranch of arithmetic and should be t lUght in our public schools. Many native races have reached a high state of perfection in the art of cooking. The Mauris, with their crude earthern ovens, could cook potatoes in a manner that would put to sli.uuo many an intelligent housewife, and the Fijians always had thejr missionary done to a turn. Should not we, in our high state of civilization, strive to have our food cooked in the manlier best fitted to promote health and longevity? Assuredly so. Without dwelling longer upon the scientific aspect of tho subject, let me at once enter upon the practical part i.f it. 1° shall first of all treat of the baking of bread, as it is a thing that is needed by very many people. Bread — To make bread properly, you require a trough. Assuming that you have one, half fill it with flour, and add to this about one quart of yeast and a sufficiency of water. Take your clothes off and get into the trough. Paw around generally with your hands and feet, strike attitudes, lift up the dough and jump on it, hustlo it. around generally, drive it out of the corners — don't let it escape you — dive your head into it, throw a somersault over it, dance upon it, but don't stop to wipe the perspiration off your brow or you are lost. Pummel it, slap it with your hands, stand off a piece and snort at it, wring it out dry, gather it up, and scatter it again to the four winds. Continue this treatment till you are exhausted. Jump out of the trough, and bake in a quick oven. If these directions are carefully followed, you will find that the bread when cooked will be so nutritious that very little of it will satieify your hunger. Let me now give a few receipes for the benefit of those who have a •' sweet tooth." Sponge Cake — To make sponge cake, first go to the chemists and procure four large sponges. Chop these into small pieces ; add enough • sugar to cover them, and mix well. | With half a gallon of treacle mix > twelve young eggs, or any old things ' you don't want, and grind to a fine ' powder. Pour the whole into a j sieve, aud stir well. Empty the sieve into a hollow baking dish ; put ' into a hot oven ; and when done, give ' to the deserving poor. Fruit Pie.— This tasty dish is vety easily made. Get a fruit pie ; put it into a Baucepan of boiling water, and let it boil for a few days. Serve hot or cold according to taste. Custard. — Take the shells of six eggs ; put them into a bucket, and beat to a stiff froth. Add a cowful of skim-milk and two whole nutmegs. To these, add three-quarters of some flour, mix thoroughly, and pour the mixture off. Carefully wash the bucket ; bake in a pitch oven, and serve cold. I intend to give careful directions for roasting joints and dressing poultry during the course of my remarks, but I shall treat of that part of my subject in another article. To do so here, I should have to prolong this one to too great a length ; I shall therefore conclude with directions for making oyster patties. Oyster Patties — .Mix two pounds of flour ; beat to a stiff batter ; add a few cloves or things, and work thoroughly. Next take a dozen healthy oysters, grind them in a mortar — never mind their tears — season with pepper and vinegar to taste ; wrap two table-spoonsful of the mixture ia the dough (the first is the dough) ; bake in a very hot oven, and shout for the police.