THE SEAMY SIDE.

Dunstan Times, Issue 3380, 27 June 1927, Page 2

THE S EAMY SIDE.

/By R. E. Corder, in London “Daily ' ' . Mail.”)

Gentlemen may, but do not, smoke

inside an omnibus. Owing to a queer shuffling of by-laws it is illegal to smoke inside a tramway-car, but there is no law, except the ’ law of good manners, against a pipe or a cigarette inside a motor-omnibus. Mr Ivan Snell, the magistato at Old Street Police Court, who, by the way,

lias grown a moustache during his recent Swiss vacation, did not know that smoking was permissible inside, as well as outside. of an omnibus until Sydney, a voting Jewish furrier, told hint from the dock yesterday morning. Mr Snell was trying Sydney on a charge of using insulting words jind behaviour. “He was walking up and down inside the omnibus smoking a cigarette,” said a constable who had joined forces with the conductor. ‘"He was ejected front the omnibus, and refusing to go away, and becoming abusive I arrested him. Sydnev went into the witness-box and contended that lie was breaking no law bv smoking. ‘'“Quite so,” said the clerk softly. U is not an offence against the law of the land; but what an offence against good manners!” “I a«ree.” said Sydney remorsefully, “but I "really had , put the cigarette out before I was ejected.” “Yon will pay 10s,” ordered Mr Snell, who is a tall, powerful, straight limned, keetirfaced athlete, with the eyes .ol a cricketer, a terror to professional wallers, and sharing with Mr Cairns of llianies, Mr Dummctt of Olerkenweli. and Mr Booth of Lambeth an established reputation for an acute sense of humour. “This man is a bricklayer with a ban character,” announced Mr Whaites, the /jourt missionary, as on embarrassed young man slid furtively into the wit-ness-box. “That’s me,” ao.mit.ed the voung bricklayer. _ , “And what can we do with tlie oltciulinu* bricklayer,”, inquired Mr Snell. “Ho wants assistance,” explained Mr Whaites. “He is on probation am. be has obtained three jobs, but lie bed seme difficulty in becoming a mourner ot the i*nion, with the lesult that muon officials arrived on the scene and he io‘t every join He has now become a menmer oi the union, but lie hasn’t got a i-b. “Give him 55.” ordered tha > magistrate. “That will bo sufficient.” said the '•curt missionary, “as there is plenty of ''-01 c for bricklayers.” . , “Pardon 'me.” apologised an hysterics applicant, “but (sob) my landlord is trying to get me out of the house (sob,-, 1 have been there for seven y ars I sob)> and there are six ot us living in one little )Tinm. Will yon just quieten him a hit (sob)? 1 am going into a decline through worry.” _ , “That is one side of the care, said ,\P Snell. “You complain about your landlord. ’ then the landlord comes and complains about you. And where i.m The applicant sobbingly protested that she did not know, and the magistrate requested a warrant officer to give the u-ual warning. .. . . , “A dog has bitten me. ' declared .1 voung brunette wearing a cherry coloured ’but. tentatively rubbing her ankle. “He !,itos everybody,” she added indignantly. “You will nave to get a witness tint tiio dog has bitten somebody else,” explained the magistrate. “That will he easy.” retorted the young brunette, still rubbing her ankle. "'1 his dog isn’t particular who ho bites.” “My brother-in-law, who lives in the same ” house, has threatened my father and invself. ’ complained a. young husband.

“( never interfere in family squabbles, said Mr Snell, who is wise in the ways of domestic complications as revealed in Shoreditch.

“She says she will put poison in my food,” declared a stout and prosperouslooking landlady who sought to get rid of •■i tenant.

“Obviously she lias not put poison in your iood,” remarked Mr Snell. “But 1 am frightened of her and Ican't sleep,” protested the plump landlady. “You will have to endure, insomnia until she appears.” retorted Mr Snell. William, the Welshman, and Dennis, [lie Irishman boasted o'er their amorous conquests, and leaving the publichouse they set out each to justify his irresistible appeal I o the girls in Bethnal Green Bead. The result was a dead heat, both men being arrested by a Scottish policeman at their first attempt to play Don Juan. Romance withered at a fine of 7s Cd each for using insulting words and behaviour towards girls who did not appro ialo the eavaliei approach d Uie two Celtic troubadours.