THE LIME KILN CLUB ON FIRE.

Daily Telegraph (Napier), Issue 3683, 4 May 1883, Page 4

THE LIME KILN CLUB ON FIRE.

The Committee on Personal Safety Recommend New Rules. In view of the recent disastrous conflagrations in the different parts of the country, the Committee on Personal Safety of the Lime Kiln Club have recommended as follows: No member of the Club will be allowed to scratch a match on his leg in Paradise Hall. No smoking within ten feet of the wood box, which hasn't been cleaned out in three years. All clay pipes must have a brass cover with a hinge, and all cigars must be smoked over an open tin pail. In case of a fire during a session of the Club the janitor will consult with the guard in the ante-room, and ascertain if all escape has been cut off by the stairway. If not, he will quietly move that the meeting adjourn to witness a dog fight in the alley. If the stairway is one solid sheet of flame, which will probably be the case, the janitor will calmly proceed to raise the alley windows and inform the meeting that there is no particular hurry about leaving. In case the members have to leave the hall by way of the windows, the safe will be thrown out first, followed by Elder Toots, Old Man Jackson, Gum Arabic Smith, and Bless Me Taylor. Brother Gardner will by this time have a soft spot to strike on, and will bo followed by the other officers in regular order. In case there are any broken legs the victims will be carried into the nearest grocery for temporary treatment, and to be interviewed by the reporters. Each one will claim that Paradise Hall was a roaring sea of flames before he would consent to leave it, If a fire takes place in the hall outside of a meeting, the members will be expected to make their way there with all possible dispatch, and use every exertion to save the valuable books and relics and works of art. It was further recommended that the hall be insured to six times its value, so that the Club would stand some show of securing actual damages in case of a fire. Also, that the janitor remain for thirty minutes after the close of each meeting and hunt around for sparks. In case he smells anything like burning cotton or old felt hat, ho must remain until he discovers that the plumber next door is trying to kill the smell of sewer gas in his own house. The number of barrels of water in the ante-room was increased to twelve, and the janitor was instructed to enter into experiments to sec if a fire extinguisher for the lodge-room could not be constructed from a nail keg, three feet of penstock hose, and a pound of chloride of lime.

The bean box was then circulated, and the following candidates were duly elected: Colonel "Crofoot. Cog Wheel Baker, Hard Road Owen, Professor Smart, Elder Catosh, Bunion Jones, Down South Jackson, Husker Williams, Noah Porter, and Pompeii Parker..

Tho Librarian brought in a bill for 3dols 25c for two china cuspidors for tho library, and a paper of brass-headed tacks. Tho bill was cut down to the cost of the tacks, and tho official was warned that when a nail keg- half full of sawdust was considered too good for his department his resignation would be accepted. '■ (Inn , lon, we am now on dc pint of retrcafin' to our abodes, said the old man as the triangle sounded, "In passin' frew dc shady lanes of life it am well to bar in mind do fact dat a man wid a No. 7 head kin work all around a man wid a No. 28 stomach. Judge no man by tho amount of vittlos he kin put away, nor do .space he kin manage to kiver on a street kyar."— Detroit Free Press.