RANDOM NOTES

Dominion, Volume 27, Issue 297, 12 September 1934, Page 8

RANDOM NOTES

Sidelights on Current Events

(By

Kickshaws.)

One other thing about Australian oranges—they don’t even give one the pip. • ♦ » Germany may be frightened of an Iron ring now, but judging by efforts recently made by Hitler to encourage marriage, it was a gold one that was frightening a little while ago. ,* * * Regarding the naval situation, news comes that Japan is all for encouraging calmness on the sea. Those who have made the trip to the South Island the last day or two will heartily endorse the idea. * * “Speaking of large eggs,” says “J.H.”, “one of my hens laid such a small one to-day I am sending it along for your inspection. You will see that it is extrefnely small, and, as far as size is concerned, I am sure it would be very hard to beat. Several residents in the district are afnazed and amused at its ridiculous dimensions." [The egg in question is a fraction under one r.nd a quarter Inches long. “J.H.” wants to know if any reader can beat it for smallness.] « * » » News that somebody has taken out a patent to make some vitamin or other cannot possibly register a thrill in the place in our anatomies where thrills are registered. For the melancholy fact emerges that this vitamin complex'is making experts do their best to encourage us to eat just those horrible things not one of us likes to eat. Cod liver oil may be all very well in a cod, but it is nasty tasting stuff in a spoon. It is all very kind of Nature to provide us with vitamins, but it seems incredible that she should have hidden her kindness behind inch a nasty taste. What science wants to discover is not patented ways of making vitamins but some way to make them taste nice. One can have too much of a good thing and far too much of a nasty thing. Perhaps our food is too. bulky. Eventually* we may be able to swallow our vitamins and the nest in infinitesimal doses that are too small to taste. Meals would be cut out altogether, our insides would atrophy and our digestive tract would be eliminated. *

While on the subject of food, it has now been revealed that we are what we eat. .. This does not mean that people who live on legs of mutton turn into legs of mutton. It seems, however, that if one wants to be energetic, vivacious and lively it is imperative to eat iodine in large quantities. The gay, likeable personality that is such a feature of a party is a secret shellfish eater. On the other hand, persons with an excitable make-up have an alkaline reaction. Those who suffer from this should be encouraged by those who suffer from them, to temper.irascibility by eating eggs, red meat, oatmeal, bacon and rice. The reason why women are healthier than men is said to be on account of the amount of iron they eat. In the end, after many years of married life the iron has even been discovered in their soul. Spinach is the iron ration par excellence, and the army has another version. Those past middle life who begin to feel their physical and mental powers, failing, on the other hand, should cut out iron, if we are to believe one expert, aud concentrate on pumpkins. A pumpkin a day keeps the doctor away. Pumpkins are the bane of undertakers. Moreover, raw onions are good for the nerves. They should be eaten liberally before dances, proposals of marriage, and interviews with the boss. They keep everybody away, doctors, dentists and Cupid. * « ■

This football at Auckland that burst without warning, just as a player was going to kick a goal, has set an example that it is hoped no other spheroidal game accessory will copy. Fortunately, when the football burst, no damage was done. Just think what might happen if a golf ball burst, because unlike footballs, golf balls are not filled with air. If we are to believe golf ball makers, they are filled with rubber tape, treacle, and all manner of queer things. A public speaker, whose golf ball burst when he was addressing it, would get so covered with rubber tape that perhaps he wouldn’t be able to address a public meeting aga.n. Just what those round lumps of wood that bowling enthusiasts roll about ’would do if they burst is too terrible ’to contemplate. The explosion wourn exterminate rinks wholesale; not. of course, that the wives and daughters would notice any difference because bowling enthusiasts are never to be found at home. Let ns hope that this bursting habit gets no further than footballs? * * While on the subject of strange happenings on the field of sport, it is a fact that strange things have happened in the games where small round objects hurtle at immense speed through the air. One batsman got himself caught out with a swallow and bowled with the legitimate missile which arrived a fraction of'a second afterwards. The wicketkeeper caught the swallow and the ball caught thei bails. On several occasions fieldsmen of an enthusiastic nature have caught passing birds in mistake for the ball. This sort of thing could never occur the football field. The elliptical nature of the ball usually, defeats even the players themselves. At golf, however, the ball has been caught In au mariner of strange ways, not of conrse that the really kceh golfer wantsi to catch a golf ball. Nevertheless *olf balls have been caught on the poin .or , hat pins, in the pockets of onlookers, in the turn-up of trousers, and one golf ball struck the edge of a scythe and was neatly cut in two On numerous occasions grazing stock has swallowed the ball, birds have flown awny with the ball and a misguided pheasant with maternal Instincts actually sat on a golf ball for two months hoping for a birdie. t » * “Regarding the death of the late Captain C. F. Post, it is to recall an incident connected with him some years ago." says ‘ S.E.H. was in 1891 that, the founder of the Salvation Army first visited New Zealand. In order to allow «e.neral Booth to keep to his timetable the USS Co. permitted him to travel from Australia to Auckland by a cargo boat called the s.s. Pukaki, commanded by the late Captain C. F. Post.” & “One’s sorrow, two’s mirth. Three's a wedding, four's a birth. Five's a christening, six a death. Seven’s heaven, eight is hell, And nine’s the Devil