“MUCH EXAGGERATED”

Dominion, Volume 22, Issue 263, 2 August 1929, Page 10

“MUCH EXAGGERATED”

NOT DEAD, BUT MUCH ALIVE Two or three weeks ago a notice appeared in a South Auckland paper that a certain business man had passed away. He had business relations with a firm in Wellington which, desiring to forward a communication, addressed it to the proprietor of the business of the late Mr. C . A day or two ago the firm received a great surprise when a letter arrived from “the late Mr. C ” saying “I was very much surprised to hear I was deceased. In fact, it was news to me, for I thought I was very much alive. As Mark Twain said, ‘I think it has been much exaggerated.’ ” When the typiste came in to take a further reply, she remarked, much to the amusement of the principal, “But he is dead. I have got the inquest cutting, too.” The explanation, however, is contained in the following letter which was sent by the Wellington firm in reply:— “We are very delighted to find from your letter of the 31st ult. that you are living. We are inclined to believe this, because in reference to the paragraphs that have misled us, we find that the initials are not the same, and that apparently it was another gentleman who had tried to exhaust the contents of the local gas container. Will you please accept our apology for having rather prematurely in our thoughts and books consigned you to, we hope, a happier clime. “History records quite a number or other celebrities who met the same fate as you have —Mark Twain, Alexander the Great, Julius Caesar, Napoleon Bonaparte, and Frederick the Great. Trotsky, we believe, was reported dead upon five different occasions. On the other hand mistakes have been made where people have been really dead and reported as being alive. The latest that we have knowledge of was Lord Kitchener, and there are quite a lot of people still who will not believe that he is not in the land of the living. So you see, if a premature demise has been accredited to you, you are just merely in line with other great notabilities, and therefore, we feel sure that in these circumstances you will be readily inclined to forgive us and accept our best wishes that you are enjoying really good health and will long continue to do so.’