AMERICAN SLANG

Dominion, Volume 21, Issue 259, 2 August 1928, Page 3

AMERICAN SLANG

My life has been saddened. I have had a glimpse- of- the profundity of my ignorance .of things that really matter. I have just been looking through an American book .which is—surely with irony—entitled “I Ought 'to Know That.” The volume is'made up of tests, general aud specialised. There is. no section for tests ’ fatal; but probably it is unnecessary (writes a contributor to the Glasgow "Weekly Chronicle.” In general tests the first' that meet my eye arc: "What are ‘Yeggs?’ What in the same slang are ’dips?’” “To whom was the line, ‘You saiu a mouthful, queen,’ supposed to have been addressed?”. “What correspondence course in memory training made Addison Sims, of Seattle, famous?” “What product comes in ‘The Tidy Red Tin?” "Give four .other names for the. devil?” “Who is the head football coach of the University of Michigan?” “Why is it dangerous, to run a gasoline motor in a. closed garage?” “What ball player led his league in batting lor nine years’ in succession?” “What brand of hosiery is advertised by criticising the ankles of the Venus de Milo?” These, of course, should be simplicity itself to a reasonably intelligent and well-informed person like myself; I bow my diminished bead. But when wc come to the specialists’ tests, I can only ” Io away in a mist of tears. I sadly confess that I dp not know: — "What is the difference between :i lounge lizard and a sofa snake?” And I cannot translate for the benefit of a hypothetical Oxford professor—“ That - frill is a double-edged darb. but the sap she flocks with is a flat hoop.” I am ignorant of “What movie star played the lead in “The Cub.’ ” I cannot tell “How many cards are generally in a pinochle deck,” I have but the faintest idea of “What was the difference between a gin rickey and a gin fizz.” As to “What champagne had the same name as a chewing tobacco,” I am rather complacent at confessing my lack of erudition. At last I land upon one I can answer; and it is one distinctly labelled a "Highbrow Test,” too—l know "Which has the greater number of feet, a dactyl or a pterodactyl?” So I cannot add that sub--title I at first thought of for the book—- “ But I don’t.” At any rate. I am resolved now that I shall never go to America; not ns a school teacher. I may go as mayor of Chicago—that would be much simpler.