WITHOUT PREJUDICE

Dominion, Volume 14, Issue 298, 10 September 1921, Page 6

WITHOUT PREJUDICE

NOTES AT RANDOM

* (By

T.D.H.)

Craftmanship, remarked Major Fitsurso to his friend Dr. Bumpus, is among tho lost arts; its place having been taken by Craftiness. Mr. Underwood and Mr. Root will probably be American delegates at the Disarmament Conference.—This looks liko getting to the bottom of things.

Cable advices are that if the fall of the mark does not lead to a marked, crash in the German market it will be remarkable. What with the Socialists and finance, Marx and marks seem to be leaving their mark ou the German character.

Remark by a street orator, near Queen’s Wharf, on a Sunday morning: “Comrades, thank God I am an atheist"!

Sir Thomas Smartt, in South Africa, i» raising a loan to alleviate distress. — A pity we haven’t got someone smart here.

Out of 1,750,000 troops examined one man out of every 40 had not a mentality above that of a ten-ycar-old child, says a learned scientist at the British Association. —“Digger" opinion in New Zealand is that the mentality of the average examining officer had not passed the stage of suckling innocence.

A Mdlle. Nicoud, the cablegrams state, has got bitten by a monkey and has contracted the same disease as killed King Constantine. This craze for imitating royalty can bo carried a bit too far.

In the early eighties there was an Irish warder at Mt. Eden Gaol, Auckland, in charge of a prisoner condemned to death. On the night before toe date of the execution ihe condemned man had a sudden seizure, which greatly alarmed his custodian. Having examined him, with the prison doctor, tho warder sent the following note to the Governor: —“In my humble opinion, Your Excellency, the prisoner cannot be removed to the place of execution without imminent danger to his life." —The prisoner died: that night and escaped the hangman! »

Hou- many people know the origin of the Stars and Stripes, America’s national flag? In Northamptonshire, in England, the other day tho ancestral home of the Washingtons, Sulgrave Manor, was officially opened, having been acquired as a memorial by the British-American Peace Centenary Committee. On tho title deeds and on the building arc th* Washington family arms —three mallets (stars) and two bars or stripes. It is generally supposed that tho idea of the stars and stripes was adopted from this, and thus the flag of Republican America traces back to the medieval coat-of-arms of an English country squire

“How they got out of it” is the heading, hut probably it is another slander. Two Scotsmen and a Jew decided to attend church. They were impressed by the sex-vice, and listened devoutly to the sermon. Then the collection came round. The Jew fainted and the two Scotsmen carried him out. HORI AND THE SPRINGBOKS. [Nexvs Item: Springboks were squeezed, in the scrum by the Maoris; but won by 9 points to B.] The scrum was packing, grunting, squeezing, jamming very tight, And Kiwi with the Springbok had a merry go' all right, Till Hori got excited, and he yelled across the line: "Py korry, ‘poy, you squeeze him head, you win him every time!” Kapai! You squeeze ’em Springbok head, and Puku give hixn kick.. And we win out this plum- game when African get sick. And very pleased The Maoris squeezed; But Springbok backs Played up like cracks, y And just got in a narrow win, scoring the last odd trick. Up-to-date wharf labourer (posing for photograph in front of screen showing wharves, boats, cranes, and usual concomitants of hax-boux- life): “How’ll this do, boss ?” Out-of-date photographer; "Well, if you were to take youx- coat off ami put that silver-mounted umbrella down it would look more natural, and you should appear to be pushing the truck instead of sitting on it." In his recently published ‘"Life and Letters” (Doran),' J. C. Squire, editor of the London "Mercury,” tells a story of a traveller ou an American sleeping-car who had written a complaint to headquarters about tlxe presence of vermin in his berth. “He received back from tho administrative head a letter of immense effusiveness. Never befox-e had such a complaint been lodged against this scrupulously careful line, and the management would have suffered any loss rather than cause annoyance to so distinguished a citizen as; etc., etc. He was very delighted with this abject apology. But as ho was throwing away the envelope there fell out a slip of paper which had, apparently, been enclosed by mistake. On it. was a memorandum: 'Send this guy tho bug-letter.’”

What queer possibilities arc suggested by that statement from America that the newest telescope will bring the surface of Mars within an apparent distance of a mile and a half of the earth. Mr. Wells has told us tint the Martians are thousands of years ahead of us in science. Have they then been studying us at an apparent range of a few yards, peering at us in our moments of privacy, puzzling over our Test tefm selections; noting the improving form cf the Springboks; enjoying the spectacle of a perspiring Lloyd George carrying road metal, and all the rest of the earth's daily round If so. what do they think of us? Perhaps it" is just as well for the self-esteem of our Test Team selectors and the rest of the human race that we cannot read those wireless messages that have been perplexing Mr. Marconi. A LOVER’S COMPLAINT. Whenas my love J strive io please, My mind is never quite at ease. It ill becomes a man to be, I think, n slave to levity; So there are times at which I would Be lapsing into graver mood. But, should my lady then be nigh, She fixes mo with stony eye, And says to me: "You are, I ween, The gloomiest bird I’ve ever seen." I would not bo misunderstood, I would not have her think mo rude, And so, when next my love I meet, I go to her on dancing feet; I hail her now with merry jest, My,joy in transports is expressed. Then says my love, as cold as death: "Come here, and let mo smell your breath 1”

How, then, should I be filled with ease Whenas my love I strive to please ?