MARRIAGE SECRETS.

Cromwell Argus, Volume LXIII, Issue 3250, 13 February 1933, Page 2

MARRIAGE SECRETS.

By Uncle Joe.

1 think It would be a very dull world if we were all of similar temperament, and if all human affairs moved on oiled wheels without any clash of wills. Up to a point, I think there is a certain definite value in argument if it can be conducted without loss of temper. What strikes us at first sight is not necessarily the best, and a little discussion, even in homely domestic affairs, may very well disclose the disadvantages as well as the advantages of any given plan. But mere fussiness is an unmitigated nuisance. A person who gets all hot and bothered whenever a bit of extra work has to be done is Just an encumbrance. We have no exact measuring tapes for domestic accomplishments, but from long observation I am convinced that it is the tranquil person who gets through difficulties best. On the other hand, there are those dominating persons who can make up their mind quickly, and who always think that their way is the only one and the best. That la a very good thing in business, but I am not so sure that it is a wise way Inside the home. After all, in any normal household it is the woman who must make the home her workshop, and who will have most to. do with its arrangements. Therefore, unless she is an utter fool, she is only within her rights when she wishes to have things as she wants them. On the other hand, I agree heartily that a lot of argument about trifles that don’t matter two hoots is both wasteful and ridiculous; but it takes two to conduct an argument, and when" one is prone to argue about trifles the other should just cut the knot by leaving the arguer to get on with it. For the only use of opposition is to provoke stubborn resistance. If I hated the position In which I found my favorite chair or any other personal belonging after a removal, or t even after a house-cleaning, I shouldn’t argue. I couldn’t be bothered to waste time and energy in such foolishness. I should just wait until the enthusiasm for re-arrangement had died down, and then quietly re-fix things as I wished. It may seem a trifling thing to refer to, but isn’t the daily domestic life of all of us made up of just such trifles? The truth is. that married people seldom quarrel over any big difficulty that has to be faced. They mostly come a bad cropper over an accumulation of little annoyances that may suddenly boil over and bring down the whole structure of their happiness. It is far better to be amused at each other’s little idiosyncrasies than to emulate them or, worse still, to battle them. Study each other and you’ll understand each other. Be always ready to forgive and, even more, to forgot when you have forgiven. It is the harboring of feelings of resentment and the cherishing of unworthy grudges that causes most of the trouble. A certain well-known society has a rule for its members: "In essentials. Unity; in non-essentials. Liberty; in all things, Charity.” It is'an invaluable and golden rule also for married life.